When A Mother's Gone

My random thoughts on the demise of a mother. What do I understand while pronouncing “mother”?

I do not need to go far away. I just see so many mothers around, to name a few, I shall say:

                Dr Bhavana Desai (My wife)

                Dr Amita Desai

                Dr Shefali Naik

                Mina Vijay Desai

And I just see a few single mothers like:

                Dr Indumati K Desai (My mother-in-law)

                Vasuben Radhod (My hospital staff)

                And many more.

What I have learnt about ‘mothers’ from them, is, they are:

                For their offspring in total, forever.

                Thinking about them all the while.

                Living only for them – offering all they have.

                Round-the-clock ‘mothers’ and nothing else – ignoring their own identity and profession.

                In so much love with their children, they ignore any insulting behaviour they get.

I would like to quote some of the famous personalities from Gujarati literature and spiritual leadership.

Morari Bapu:

• Mother is one who offers all she has – total offering.
• Mother is a great mixture of forgiveness (Pardon) and compassion (Mercy).

Suresh Dalal:

• Mother is blind towards her children. And she may not love all others alike.
• Mother knows all that her child needs, and she will give it even before she/he demands.

Gunvant Shah:

• We miss seeing what is near to us. And so we never realise a mother’s importance – thereby we miss acknowledging and appreciating her.
• Mother has total acceptance for her child, however bad or misbehaving the child is. She will love and bless to her maximum.

On learning about the demise of somebody else’s mother, I have observed some people saying, ‘I have never met her’ or even daring to say, ‘I was not aware their mother was alive at all’. This is too much, and unfortunately not uncommon.

All we need is to define the list of our close friends and be in regular touch – visit them as frequently as possible, and be with them. If you find someone not worth your friendship, forget him. But be sure to maintain a few intimate-close and total friends. Loss of touch is a modern-day problem, best avoided.

It was only a few days before you had the last touch of your mother – the touch before saying the final bye-bye. The last touch means thereafter you won’t be able to touch your alive mother again.

Well, then to make it alive, love the mothers of others who are alive. Love, respect and do everything for her that you would have done for your mother.

We can easily say goodbye to our mother on her last departure if we have:

Respected her during her lifetime,

Honoured her all she dues,

Not allowing her to be unhappy or weeping because of us…

And still, nothing you do is enough.

Have you served your mother to your satisfaction?