Pains And Pleasures Of Ageing

At the age of 71, I am looking back and see my thoughts recorded in the article Life at 60 years back and find out whether all I said then continues to be true even today. I am happy to say my conclusions proved to be true. In one of them, I wrote 'I can proudly tell myself I can rely on my offspring for whatever I need - a great satisfaction any parent can have.' In the other sentence, I wrote 'my pillars of living are my wife Dr Bhavna, daughter Vaishali and son Rahul.' Yes, the same truth prevails. I concluded the article stating 'I am happy. I have no regrets. I am ready to face whatever situation arises and do what I think right at that moment.' Well, certainly 'all is well!' 

I said at 60 and continue to believe the same at 70+ that, 'I am sure I have no expectation whatsoever before, during and after my death.' Once this mental attitude is reached, I think all the spirituality one needs is at the maximum. One needs not be a 'Sanyaasi' and go to the forest in the last phase of life 'Sanyashashram' to be said after 75. Live happily enjoying the leisure and pleasures of the social life. You might be wondering about the title 'Pains and Pleasures' and wondering about the study around. Let us start.

Dementia

At old age, loss of memory is a great threat to remain normal in relations. You forget names, events and many things around and you find it difficult to recollect. To stop total loss of memory, Alzheimer's disease, interest in the surrounding with love for all-around will make you remember the names. You do not forget the names of your family members, just the same way interest and love for people around will make you remember their minute details including name. Loss of hearing, vision and other illnesses are bound to come, but the loss of memory can be prevented. Aloofness and withdrawal from social life are dangerous and can make your life difficult to live. Maybe others are not interested in you as an old person – but you can continue being interested in them.

Anxiety, Fear and Worries

With seniority and retirement, you have a great amount of free time available not only during the day but also during the night, because sleep hours are also reduced. Now anxiety, fear and worry about yourself, your close-ones and trivial matters overpower the mind. You keep worrying about everything. Sometimes the fear of being beaten or killed by unknown people wakes you up from sleep! A mind without creative activity and loneliness initiates such a thought process. Keeping one busy with reading, writing, watching TV and movies, listening to music and being in conversations with friends and family members seem to stop, or at least reduce such mental stress.

Depression

Disrespecting and ignoring one’s existence by others around lead to feelings of uselessness, in turn leading to sadness and depression. Biphasic variation of mood from being excited to the highest to feeling sad all of a sudden for no reason whatsoever is a natural phenomenon more prevalent in ageing persons. Even with all the positivity and everything at the back of my mind, depression with low mood and sadness appears off and on. The only way out formula is awareness and dealing mood variation by some activity, being accompanied by friends and family and having a dialogue. Awareness and good company can make mood elevation easy and fast. Let us try.

Dissatisfaction About Savings Elevation

Whatever big amount one has earned and saved, they feel to have earned less money during lifetime. Seeing the much bigger amount earned by the present generation, higher cost of day to day life and insecurity of needful money makes one feel unhappy, comparing and sorry. Avoid this. Live your life according to the money you have or, let us say, simple life does not cost much. Even illness can be managed properly at government hospitals free of charge.

Well, do not get carried away hearing all about pains – there are a lot many pleasures to talk of about ageing.

Freedom from Earning

Retirement of compulsion in service and voluntary retirement from private business make one free from hassles and stress of job, duty or business. You have no responsibility to work and earn. This makes you a free bird flying all around and enjoying life.

Freedom of Timetable

You do not have to follow a strict regime of timetable. You can enjoy long sleeping hours, eating at the desired time and wandering in your mood. Well, this is the great luxury of no timetable life. Discipline in exercise and diet can not be better observed, but even both of them are optional. Good health is necessary for a smooth and happy life, but exercise and diet control do not guarantee perfect health at least with ageing.

Free Time Round the Clock

This can be understood better by Mumbaites who have to wander in crowded traffic and work for 10-12-14 hours a day. They leave home in the early morning and reach home at late night. Ageing persons have the luxury of free time for 24 hours a day! This makes them develop a hobby of reading, writing, playing games, travelling abroad and inland and learning whatever they desire. Making oneself busy enjoying all that one has missed during young age is better started soon before it becomes difficult or impossible to do.

Membership at laughing club, senior citizens club, ladies club, Lions, Rotary, Giants - like social service clubs, caste organisation and such meeting places are better tried and if the tuning with activities there and pleasure is gained better continued. If your nature does not permit such membership, better avoid any associations with them. Short and long travels, daily evening meetings, frequent visits to drama, movies and cultural programmes are worth trying.

Conclusion

There can not be any universal formula that guides everyone equally. One has to find out their own way of living with ease and pleasure and follow this. In Japan, they use the word 'Ikigai' to explain the purpose of life. One should find out their own reasoning to search own passion and talents for a long and happy life.

They say - stay active, be slow, surround yourself well. Let me say - good friends, smile, reconnect with nature and give thanks.

I shall live a happy life. I will manage to get rid of anything that distracts the goal of happiness. I will keep such persons and activities away.

I will keep busy living a social life full of reading, writing, talking and being with like-minded people around.

Do tell me what you think!