આમ પણ, આપણે સામાજિક વ્યવહારોમાં આર્થિક લેવડ-દેવડ કરતાં હોઈએ છીએ અને સમાજસેવા તરીકે પણ દાન આપતા હોઈએ છીએ, ત્યારે આર્થિક સંકળામણમાં ઘેરાયેલ માંદગીના બીછાને પડેલ સ્વજનને મદદરૂપ થવું આપણો ધર્મ અને આપણી ફરજ બને છે. એક રિવાજ સ્થાપિત કરવાથી આ પૈસા લેનારને પણ યોગ્ય જ લાગશે. 

I said at 60 and continue to believe the same at 70+ that, 'I am sure I have no expectation whatsoever before, during and after my death.' Once this mental attitude is reached, I think all the spirituality one needs is at the maximum. One needs not be a 'Sanyaasi' and go to the forest in the last phase of life 'Sanyashashram' to be said after 75. Live happily enjoying the leisure and pleasures of the social life. You might be wondering about the title 'Pains and Pleasures' and wondering about the study around. Let us start.


Dementia

At old age, loss of memory is a great threat to remain normal in relations. You forget names, events and many things around and you find it difficult to recollect. To stop total loss of memory, Alzheimer's disease, interest in the surrounding with love for all-around will make you remember the names. You do not forget the names of your family members, just the same way interest and love for people around will make you remember their minute details including name. Loss of hearing, vision and other illnesses are bound to come, but the loss of memory can be prevented. Aloofness and withdrawal from social life are dangerous and can make your life difficult to live. Maybe others are not interested in you as an old person – but you can continue being interested in them.

Anxiety, Fear and Worries

With seniority and retirement, you have a great amount of free time available not only during the day but also during the night, because sleep hours are also reduced. Now anxiety, fear and worry about yourself, your close-ones and trivial matters overpower the mind. You keep worrying about everything. Sometimes the fear of being beaten or killed by unknown people wakes you up from sleep! A mind without creative activity and loneliness initiates such a thought process. Keeping one busy with reading, writing, watching TV and movies, listening to music and being in conversations with friends and family members seem to stop, or at least reduce such mental stress.

Depression

Disrespecting and ignoring one’s existence by others around lead to feelings of uselessness, in turn leading to sadness and depression. Biphasic variation of mood from being excited to the highest to feeling sad all of a sudden for no reason whatsoever is a natural phenomenon more prevalent in ageing persons. Even with all the positivity and everything at the back of my mind, depression with low mood and sadness appears off and on. The only way out formula is awareness and dealing mood variation by some activity, being accompanied by friends and family and having a dialogue. Awareness and good company can make mood elevation easy and fast. Let us try.

Dissatisfaction About Savings Elevation

Whatever big amount one has earned and saved, they feel to have earned less money during lifetime. Seeing the much bigger amount earned by the present generation, higher cost of day to day life and insecurity of needful money makes one feel unhappy, comparing and sorry. Avoid this. Live your life according to the money you have or, let us say, simple life does not cost much. Even illness can be managed properly at government hospitals free of charge.

Well, do not get carried away hearing all about pains – there are a lot many pleasures to talk of about ageing.

Freedom from Earning

Retirement of compulsion in service and voluntary retirement from private business make one free from hassles and stress of job, duty or business. You have no responsibility to work and earn. This makes you a free bird flying all around and enjoying life.

Freedom of Timetable

You do not have to follow a strict regime of timetable. You can enjoy long sleeping hours, eating at the desired time and wandering in your mood. Well, this is the great luxury of no timetable life. Discipline in exercise and diet can not be better observed, but even both of them are optional. Good health is necessary for a smooth and happy life, but exercise and diet control do not guarantee perfect health at least with ageing.

Free Time Round the Clock

This can be understood better by Mumbaites who have to wander in crowded traffic and work for 10-12-14 hours a day. They leave home in the early morning and reach home at late night. Ageing persons have the luxury of free time for 24 hours a day! This makes them develop a hobby of reading, writing, playing games, travelling abroad and inland and learning whatever they desire. Making oneself busy enjoying all that one has missed during young age is better started soon before it becomes difficult or impossible to do.

Membership at laughing club, senior citizens club, ladies club, Lions, Rotary, Giants - like social service clubs, caste organisation and such meeting places are better tried and if the tuning with activities there and pleasure is gained better continued. If your nature does not permit such membership, better avoid any associations with them. Short and long travels, daily evening meetings, frequent visits to drama, movies and cultural programmes are worth trying.

Conclusion

There can not be any universal formula that guides everyone equally. One has to find out their own way of living with ease and pleasure and follow this. In Japan, they use the word 'Ikigai' to explain the purpose of life. One should find out their own reasoning to search own passion and talents for a long and happy life.

They say - stay active, be slow, surround yourself well. Let me say - good friends, smile, reconnect with nature and give thanks.

I shall live a happy life. I will manage to get rid of anything that distracts the goal of happiness. I will keep such persons and activities away.

I will keep busy living a social life full of reading, writing, talking and being with like-minded people around.

Do tell me what you think!

First, we must know basic problems. 

Now I want to tell you about the symptoms not cleared by routine medical doctors and needing psychiatric help. All these listed here if not relived or recurred now and then, be aware mental illness is certainly present.

Symptoms

• Vomiting – Nausea 
• Fainting spells – dizziness 
• Headache – backache 
• Pain in the chest 
• Palpitations 
• Breathlessness 
• Stomach ulcers and acidity 
• Stomach loss of appetite 
• Heaviness after eating 
• Excessive belching 
• Weakness 
• Pain in joints. Arthritis. 
• Quickening or slowing of the heart 
• Rise and fall of blood pressure 
• Asthma 
• Eczema 

Now, let us discuss important mental disorders. 

Anxiety

Anxiety is a mental condition with fear, shakiness, fast heart rate and excessive worrying. Anxiety is a feeling of worry, nervousness or unease, worry about future events. Anxiety can be generalized, phobia, social, separation anxiety disorder, agoraphobia, panic disorder or selective mutism. 12% of the population suffers from anxiety. It is twice in females than males.

---

Neurosis 

Neurosis is a relatively mild mental illness involving symptoms of stress (like obsession, depression or anxiety) but not a radical loss of touch with reality. So Neurosis is a borderline personality disorder. Thus Neurosis is in short excessive and irrational anxiety or obsession. Neurosis (also known as psychoneurosis) is a mental disorder that causes a sense of distress and deficit in functioning.

Neurosis is a behaviour that interferes with normal living, impairs the individual’s efficiency, happiness and makes one unable to get along with or love other people.

Disability characterized by too much neurotic behaviour.

Examples: gambling, over concern about bowels, diet and appearance, sexual promiscuity.

True neurosis is accompanied by a feeling of unhappiness, disappointment and frustration.

Neurotic is uncomfortable during an attack but otherwise feels perfectly well.

• Compulsions: such as washing hands
• Phobias: such as fear of germs 
• Obsessions: such as self–torturing jealousy 

Neurosis:

• Compulsion Neurosis 
• Anxiety Neurosis 
• Hysteria

Jumpiness, fast heart, Restlessness, Excessive sweating, Insomnia-nightmares, Haggard feeling and facial expression, Feeling exhausted, having prolonged suffering exertion

Hysteria: Sudden clippings of special parts of the body and any medical condition can be imitated by hysteria.

---

Psychosis 

It is a mental disorder causing disconnection from reality which results in stranger behaviour often accompanied by a perception of stimuli of voices, images or sensations, delusions, hallucinations and talking incomprehensibly.

Symptoms are delusion, hallucination, inability to concentrate, depression, sleeping too much or too little, losing bond with family and friends, anxiety, suicidal thoughts and switching topics while talking.

---

Depression 

Depression is a state of low mood and aversion to activity.

• Depression can affect a person’s thoughts, feelings, behaviour, motivation and serves well-being. It may feature sadness, difficulty in thinking and concentration. It can be seen with an increase or decrease in appetite and sleep time. The person feels dejection, hopelessness and sometimes have suicidal thoughts. Actually, one has a loss of interest or loss of feeling of pleasure in certain activities usually enjoy. 

It is caused as a temporary reaction to life events such as the loss of a loved one or some drugs or diseases. 4.4% population suffers from depression.

1. Major depression: Here person suffers for at least two weeks of low mood, low self-esteem, low energy, loss of interest and pain without clear reason. Sometimes the period of depression follows a normal mood. Genetic factors, environmental and psychological factors cause it. 3% world population suffers from major depression. 
2. Melancholia: Is a loss of interest in most or all activities, failure to react to pleasure stimuli, worsening of symptoms in the morning hour, early morning waking, excessive weight loss, excessive guilt and psychomotor retardation. 

---

Mania 

Mania is a state of abnormally elevated arousal effect and energy level. It is a state of heightened overall activation with enhanced affective expression together with lability of affect.

The heightened mood can be either be euphoric or irritable. At a higher level of mania, irritability leads to anxiety and violence. A person has elevated mood, flight of ideas, the pressure of speech, increased energy, decreased desire and need for sleep and hyperactivity.

Hypomania: is a less intense Mania. Hypomania leads to increase creativity and productivity. Goal motivated behaviour and metabolism increase. Though hypomania with elevated mood and energy is good, when exaggerated, a person displays excessive optimism, grandiosity and poor decision making.

---

Schizophrenia 

Schizophrenia is a mental illness characterized by relapsing episodes of psychosis. Major symptoms include hallucinations often of hearing voices, delusions of having beliefs not shared by others and disorganized thinking. Other symptoms include social withdrawal, decreased emotional expression and lack of motivation. Symptoms come gradually and young persons of 16 to 30 years of age are involved.

A person has significant alterations in perception, thoughts, mood and behaviour.

The end results, or say, complications are suicide, heart disease or lifestyle disease.

Their feelings are flat so their response is flattened or inappropriate. Their emotions depend more upon what happens inside than what happens outside their minds.

Four types of Schizophrenia:

1. Paranoid Schizophrenia (More common): The most prominent symptoms are hallucinations and delusions. The patient has the unusual feeling of being watched, followed or even hunted down. Paranoia means an intense, irrational persistent instinct or thought process of fear fall feeling and thoughts.
2. Catatonic Schizophrenia (Rare): Catatonic means extremes of under or over motor activity. Person falls into behaviours extremes much like music and depressive episodes. In a catatonic stupor, there is a deficit of movement making him motionless and in catatonic excitement, there is excessive movement associated with violent behaviour to oneself or others.
3. Disorganised Schizophrenia (Also known as hebephrenia): Person has an intentionally disorganized behavioural pattern. This leads to difficulty in communicating because his train of thoughts cannot be understood. It is a disease of adolescence appearing between 15 to 25 years ago. 
4. Undifferentiated Schizophrenia: Here the person has mixed symptoms of any of the above three.

---

Bipolar Disorder (Also known as manic depression)

Bipolar disorder is characterized by periods of depression and periods of abnormally elevated mood. The severally elevated mood is called mania and the less severe is called hypomania

Condition is characterised by intermittent episodes of mania and depression with an absence of any symptoms in between (normal state of mind)

Manic Episodes: The person has euphoria to delirium, increased self-esteem or grandiosity, decreased need of sleep and disinhibited social behaviour, impulsive or high-risk behaviours like excessive spending or hypersexuality, inability to work or socialize. A milder form of the above manic symptoms is called hypomania.

Depressive Episodes: Here the person has persistent feelings of sadness, irritability or anger, feeling of guilt, sleeping too much or too little, change in appetite and /or weight, feeling of worthlessness and thoughts of death or suicide.

---

Mental Health is a human right!

Practices for intact mental health. 

1. Medicate every day. Learn Practice Mindfulness
2. Affirm:
• “I love and approve of myself.”
• Louise Hay
• Say the above statement meaningfully. Say it 3 – 4 times every day especially before retiring at night.
3. Choose kindness :
• Whenever there is a choice between being right and being kind, choose to be kind Dr Wayne Dyer. Kindness increases serotonin levels… a great healing hormone.
4. Hobby: Pursue your hobbies. They are a must for stress relief.
5. Deep breathing: Practice deep breathing whenever possible. Keep your brain healthy and efficient.
6. Walking: A 20 minutes brisk walk in the morning releases endorphins… the positive and happy hormones. 
7. Read Inspiring books every day.
8. Smile: Smile is the window of your soul and laughing is the door. – Neal Donald Walsch.
9. Love: Love Everything, Love Empowers you beyond measure, Love includes unconditional acceptance. 
10. Speak out: Don’t suffer silently speak out – seek help. Stock up on compassion for yourself.
11. Peace: Choose peace in every situation. Make it a habit. Peace brings the best of everything to us. Peace brings prosperity.
12. Thankful heart: Wake up and sleep with a thankful heart.

---

Take-Home Message

Life (to remain alive) is more important than no life. Any problem like a failure in examination, financial loss in life, disturbance in friendship or marital relation or any problem can be solved with time, but the resultant mental disorder can be life-threatening. So do not remain disturbed, confused or low, instead talk to your close relatives and friends, communicate freely personally, by writing or on the phone and sick help, the solution is assured.

Lastly, I will conclude by talking about this most important advice, do not plan treatment yourself or with the help of non-psychiatric doctors. The help of a psychiatrist nearby will cure you in total by psychotherapy, medicines or ECT (Electro Convulsive Treatment). So, do not wait and waste time.

Best of luck!

My daughter-in-law Shivani has seen many family get-togethers during the last decade at her paternal home town - Dungri. So she wanted a similar gathering with the family in Bilimora. We four i.e. Bhavana, Vaishali, Rahul, and I were reluctant to hold one without any cause. Ultimately, we thought of trying this at least once, and so we decided to hold our Sharada Mohan family's first "Family Reunion" on 24-25 January 2021, Sunday-Monday.

If someone dared to ask you a simple question - "Do you follow Indian customs and traditions?" Most of the time the response would be negative. Because of being impressed by (and obsessed with) the Western styles and traditions seen during the British rule and afterwards, we follow them blindly and ultimately start ignoring our rich traditions. Many of us even feel shy to observe them. We have not bothered to understand our Indian culture at all. Our traditions have a scientific, logical, historical, social, and spiritual significance.

 

Last year I wrote an article describing my year-round activities. It covered gross points of major activities and events in the year 2018. Then I thought why not write something about my day-to-day activities once in a while and the result is this article!

I am a practising ophthalmologist for 40+ years. Activities other than eye disease treatment is at the cost of professional practice. But I do not mind losing practice nowadays because that is my concept of stepwise, gradual retirement.

છૂટાછેડા (Divorce): છૂટાછેડા એટલે કાનુની રીતે થયેલ લગ્નનો અંત (Divorce is the termination of a legal marriage)

1. Without marriage, there is no divorce
2. Marriage can be easily done but not divorce
3. Marriage is not decided in heaven; marriage is a result of one’s hurriedly made mistake
4. Life is more important than marriage. So, if you are convinced about the failure of a marriage, end the marriage, but not the life.

કારણો

• Financial Crisis: નાણાં કમાવાની અશક્તિ ને કારણે નાણાનો અભાવ
• Domestic Violence: ઘરેલુ ઝગડાઓ અને મારામારી. પતિ કે પત્ની દ્વારા અપમાનજનક વર્તન
• Denied (refusal) of a Sexual Relationship: શરીર સંબંધ ની મનાઈ અથવા વિરોધ
• Lack of Mutual Respect: પરસ્પર માન-સન્માનનો અભાવ
• Lack of Love: પરસ્પર પ્રેમ
• Extramarital Relationship: લગ્ન બહારનો શરીર સંબંધ

આ પરંપરાગત કારણો સિવાયના હાલનાં કારણો

• ભણેલી, કમાતી અને આર્થિક રીતે સ્વાવલંબી સ્ત્રી (Feminism and Women Empowerment): લગ્ન જીવનનાં પાયામાં રહેલાં Adjustment and Compromise ભુલીને સાધારણ નાની-નાની તકલીફો પણ અસહ્ય બતાવીને લગ્નજીવનનો અંત લાવવા તૈયાર થઈ જાય છે.
• Communication gap and Ego: પોતપોતાના સ્વભાવના અહંકારને લીધે અને પરસ્પર વાતચીતના સમયના અભાવે વાર્તાલાપ કે ચર્ચા બંધ થઈ જતાં-પ્રશ્નોના કારણો અને નિરાકરણની ચર્ચા થતી નથી, તેથી પણ છૂટા પડી જવાય છે.
• Lack of Commitment: લગ્નજીવનમાં ભંગાણ અને છૂટાછેડા સમાજમાં હવે ખરાબ ન ગણાતા હોવાથી છૂટાછેડાની સ્થિતિ ને સમાજે સ્વીકારી લીધી છે, જેથી હવે છૂટાછેડાનો કોઈ છોછ રહ્યો નથી તેથી લગ્નજીવનની વીધીમાં આપેલા વચનોની ગંભીરતા રહી નથી (No Social Taboo). પરસ્પર માટે પ્રેમ કે લાગણી અને પરસ્પર માટે બધુ જ કરી છુટવાની ભાવના જતી રહી છે-મરી પરવારી છે.
• Family Interference: સંયુક્ત કુટુંબની ભાવના અને સંયુક્ત રહેવાનું ન હોવાથી પતિ-પત્નીનું એકલા રહેવું જોખમી બન્યું છે. નાનામોટા ઝગડાઓએ કાયમી સ્વરૂપ પકડ્યું છે અને સમાધાન શક્ય રહ્યું નથી.
• Mobile Connectivity and Parents Interference. મોબાઈલ ફોને મોકાણ મંડી છે. કે ડાટ વાળ્યો છે એમ કહીયે તો ચાલે એ ખોટું નથી. સવાર-સાંજ ફોન દ્વારા માબાપની ચર્ચા લગ્નજીવનમાં ખલેલ પહોંચાડે છે અને વખત જતાં લગ્નો તોડે છે.
• Dowry - વાંકડો
• Modern Lifestyle: Hectic complex lifestyle causing high ambitions, expectations leading to anger, frustrations and confrontations.

છૂટાછેડાની અસરો

અનાવિલ સમાજનો પરિચય

• વાપીથી તાપી અથવા કહોકે ઉંમરગામથી કોસંબા સુધી વિસ્તરેલા અનાવિલો, હકીકતમાં વિશ્વના દરેક ખૂણે પથરાયેલા છે.
• અપરિણિત રહેવું- મોડાં લગ્નો અને એક કે તેથી ઓછા બાળકો ધરાવતા અનાવિલો ધીરે ધીરે કુલ બે લાખથી પણ ઓછી વસ્તી વિશ્વમાં ધરાવે છે.

આપણો ઈતિહાસ

1. આપણે કહી શકીએ કે આપણો ઈતિહાસ કમસેકમ 5000 વર્ષ જુનો છે. દક્ષિણ ગુજરાતના અનાવલ (ત્યારે અનાદિપુર તરીકે પ્રખ્યાત) ખાતે ભગવાન રામને રાવણ જેવા બ્રાહ્મમણના વધના પ્રાયશ્ચિત માટે પાપ ધોવા માટે મહાયજ્ઞ કરવાની જરૂર પડી ત્યારે હનુમાન આપણા પૂર્વજોને આયોધ્યાથી અનાવલ લાવ્યા હતા ત્યારથી આપણે અજાચક્ર બ્રાહ્મમણો કે અનાવિલ તરીકે ઓળખાઈએ છીએ. હકીકતમાં, આપણે અફઘાનિસ્તાનથી આવેલા આર્યો છીએ.
2. બિહારના મગધ રાજ્યના રાજ્યકર્તા તરીકે પણ આપણા પૂર્વજો ઓળખાયા છે. અનાવિલ રાજા “પૂત્રક” નાગકન્યા “પાટલી” સાથે લગ્ન કર્યા પછી રાજધાની તરીકે “પાટલીપૂત્રક” શહેર વસાવે છે જે આજે પટના તરીકે ઓળખાય છે. તેથી જ આપણા જેવા બુદ્ધિશાળી અને નેતા ચાણકય ઉર્ફે કૌટિલ્ય પણ અનાવિલ હોવાનું મનાય છે.
3. અનાવલ રાજ્ય જે વ્યારા, મહુવા, વાંસદા, અને ચીખલી તાલુકા સુધી વિસ્તરેલું હતું તેના રાજા અનાવિલ હતા. જેના આપણે વંશજો છીએ. બૌદ્ધ ધર્મના લોકોને વૈદિક ધર્મ પ્રત્યે તિરસ્કાર હોવાથી તેમણે ભીલ લોકોનો સાથ લઈ વાંસિયાભીલ સાથે મળી આપણે યજ્ઞકાર્ય માં વ્યસ્ત હતા ત્યારે યુદ્ધમાં હરાવ્યા હતા. 1186 માં અનાવિલ રાજા સંમધર વશીએ પાટણના રાજા સિદ્ધરાજ જયસિંહની મદદથી વાંસિયા ભીલને હરાવ્યો હતો પછી તેને રાજયમાં રસ ન હોવાથી રાજપૂત રાજાઓને સોપ્યું હતું જે વાંસદા રાજ્ય તરીકે ઓળખાતું હતું.

સતીમાતા મંદિર

ગણદેવીના 400 વર્ષથી પ્રખ્યાત અનંત વશી પરિવારના ગોપાળજી દેસાઈના પુત્રી ઈચ્છાબેને પતિના મૃત્યુબાદ તેમની ચિતા ઉપર બેસી અગ્નિસ્નાન કર્યું હતું. સતી બન્યા છે અનાવિલ સમાજના “ગણદેવી ના દેસાઈજી પરિવારે” એકમાત્ર સતીની યાદમાં એક મંદિર બનાવ્યું છે તેમના પરિવારની ટેકરી ઉપર તળાવકિનારે ગણદેવી ચાર રસ્તા ખાતે એમને યાદકરીને પ્રણામ-સન્માન પાઠવવા દર વર્ષે કાળીચૌદશે ત્યાં મેળો ભરાય છે.

મામાદેવ મંદિર, પૂણી

ધાડપાડુઓથી બહેનને બચાવવા અને ચોરોને લૂંટતા રોકવા પૂણી ખાતે યુવાઓની મદદથી અનાવિલે ધાડપાડુઓનો સફળ સામનો કરી બહેનને લૂંટાતી બચાવી હતી પણ ભાઈ આ પ્રસંગે મૃત્યુ પામ્યો હતો. તેની યાદમાં પૂણી ખાતે આ “મામાદેવ મંદિર” આવેલ છે.

સુરત

તમને જાણીને નવાઈ લાગશે પણ સુરતમાં અનાવિલો છવાયેલા હતા. મોટાભાગની સુરતની જમીન અનાવિલોની માલીકીની હતી. તેમણે અનાવિલ વસ્તીવાળા ફળિયાઓ જેને પરાં કહેતા તે વસાવ્યા હતા.

નં	અનાવિલ નામ	જમીન	પરાનું નામ
1	સગરામ વશી	20 એકર	સગરામપુરા
2	રઘુનાથ ઉર્ફે રઘનાથ	46 એકર	રઘુનાથપુરા
3	રામભાઈ	47 એકર	રામપરા
4	હરિભાઈ		હરિપુરા
5	રૂદ્રજી		રુદ્રપુરા
6	મહિધર	57 એકર	મહિધરપુરા
7	સામજી		સામપરા
8	ગોપી નાયક		ગોપીપુરા
9	ઈંદરજી	25 એકર	ઈંદરપુરા

અનાવિલો રાજયમાં સત્તા અને ધનવાળા હોવાથી ઉપરાંત અજાચક પૈસા ન લેનાર હોવાથી “બાદશાહ” કહેવાતા.

મહાનુભાવો

અનાવિલ સમાજના દરેક વ્યક્તિ મહાન એટલે અનાવિલ મહાનુભાવો એટલે ફક્ત મોરારજી દેસાઈ, ભૂલાભાઈ દેસાઈ, મહાદેવભાઈ દેસાઈ, કે ડી.એ.દેસાઈ નહિ અનાવિલ સમાજનો એકેક વ્યક્તિ આપસૌ મહાનુભાવો.


અનાવિલ સમાજના વારસાગત લક્ષણો (Genetic Characters)

અનાવિલ એટલે	હોંશિયાર Clever	ખુલ્લા દિલના Frank	સહનશક્તિવાળા Tolerant
	શાંત Quiet	આનંદી Cheerful	વૈભવી જીવન ચાહકો Luxury Loving
	નેતા Leader	વહીવટકર્તા Administrator

આ બધા સાથે બે મુખ્ય લક્ષણો એટલે આપવડાઈ અને હમ સચ્ચાઈ.

1. આપવડાઈ: (Superiority complex  - thinking of oneself to be the greatest) આપડવાઈ એટલે હું સર્વશ્રેષ્ઠ એટલું જ નહિ, મારાથી વધારે ઊંચાઈએ કોઈ નહિ, દુનિયામાં સૌથી મહાન એટલે હું. દરેક અનાવિલના આ લક્ષણે આપણી એકતાને રોકી છે.
2. હમ સચ્ચાઈ: (Whatever I say is the final truth and my truth is the only truth - no arguments.) હું જે કહું તે જ સાચ્ચું કોઈ વાદવિવાદ નહિ. હું કહું તેમ જ કરો એવો આગ્રહ તે હમ સચ્ચાઈ.

આપણી મહાન જાતિ અનાવિલમાં થોડા સુધારા કરવાની જરૂર છે. ચોકકસ આપણે મહાન છીએ જ.

Related articles:
Anavils - An Endangered Community
More Anavil articles

Image courtesy: bruhadanavil.org

Before I give details of the subject, I would love to define it. “Person” means a human individual being physically present. So “Personality” means the characteristics, qualities and nature of an individual person seen as a whole when we meet for the first time. This wholeness of character and nature as seen in an individual creates an aura - a mixture of external appearance, mannerisms and speech.

Now, there are two aspects of individual presentation creating a personality - external look and aura -the facial expression that comes from within.

Even though we are not talking of cosmetics and beauty parlour make-up, staying well dressed and pleasantly presentable is a must. This includes proper hair grooming, good oral hygiene, shaving the beard, dressing appropriately (dressing of proper fitting, maybe simple but washed and ironed) and last but not the least, the polished shining shoes. Now you are presentable, but the personality impressions are creations of the mental outlook.


This mental image creation demands great work-up. Your look will present your level of intelligence - confidence and nature. For this, you will need to have a particular mental attitude of a great person. Let me give some pointers:

First is, BE FREE. Spit out all your past actions, good or bad and never think of them again, because what is done is done. You cannot undo it. Don’t repeat, whatever effect - result follows face. But be careful not to repeat the same mistake. Give up the burden of all deeds - be free and attain freedom, liberation.

Once you are free and get the state of freedom, BE CONFIDENT. Weakness is death. Be brave. Have faith in oneself. Those, who are born with confidence consciously of greatness, became great. Whatever you think, you become. Learn to avoid imitation. One must struggle to be individual - thinking their own thought and realising their own self.

BE FOCUSED and have concentration. Focus on the aim and do not get distracted.

When this is achieved, your education, intelligence and ideal human nature will shine out. Now nobody can ignore your presence, because of the developed personality. And again, you are what your personality is!

Over time, I have learnt and practised being accountable and better-organised in day to day life. That makes me disciplined and presentable with honour – any time and every time. I maintain day to day diary for the last seven years recording all the events and emotions. Reading the contents of the 2018 year diary inspired me to write the statement of account presenting activities of 365 days of the year.

Daily Routine

• I consider my day starting at night, 9.30 PM, when I go to bed. I get up around 2:00 to 3:00 AM. That’s when I do my reading and writing work until I fall asleep again. That gives me more than 2 to 3 hours of study every night.
• I do clinical practice as an ophthalmologist between 9.30 AM to 1:00 PM in the morning and 4.30 to 7:00 PM in the evening. Yes, after lunch, between 1.30 to 4:00 PM there is a compulsory sleep, the classic after siesta, for about two hours.
• Morning hours, between 7:00 to 9.30 AM are “no work” time, spent in getting ready, reading newspapers and having tea-breakfast. How much time should one give for newspapers, I often wonder.
• I spend 7:00 to 9:30 PM in front of the television – watching entertainment serials and news.

Reading and Writing

• My only hobby – I can boast of – is reading and writing. I keep on reading the books, make short notes and then present the book-review as an article on my blog. Learning to Say No, India Vs Pakistan – Why Are We Not Friends, Morarji Desai, History of Jammu and Kashmir, Lord Shiva, Parvati, Karthikey and Ganapati, are some of the well-received book reviews.
• I do study and analysis by myself to publish research results - Status of Senior Citizens and Accidental Marriage of a Daughter are such presentations.
• I have written tour diary following a visit to Kankaria Festival, Ahmedabad and visit to the Taj Mahal, Agra.
• I was felicitated as an achiever at Centenary Celebration of my high school, D.C.O., Killa Pardi – the article following that event describes my high school life 50 years back.
• I have written 215 articles so far and my son Rahul presented them with pictures at “blog.drbharatdesai.com.” More than 300,000 visitors all over the world have read them and a few of them sent responses. One of my readers, Nirali Desai from Ahmedabad, was inspired to prepare an illustrative work on Anavils, after reading my blog article on the subject. This year 15 such articles were published.
• In addition to being a life patron at J. B. Petit Library, Bilimora and Sayaji Vaibhav Library, Navsari, I have my own treasure of books. When I decide to buy a book, my son Rahul orders it online and purchases the said book.
• During 2018, I have read and re-read books on Mahabharat, Bhagavad-Gita and Ramayana. I have prepared a summary of them to be published for eager readers.

The Book I Like (ભારત વિ. પાકિસ્તાન: આપણે મિત્રો કેમ નથી?)

• Guzder Library, Gandevi team comprising of Prin. Ashvinbhai Patel, President Thakorbhai Naik, Secretary Jayantibhai Mistry and Vice President Jyotiben Desai have been organizing lectures on the book-review every month on second Saturday at 4.30 PM for the last 52 months. I have joined them for more than two years by now. Dr Pravinbhai Gilitwala, Dr Naliniben Gilitwala, Piyushbhai Dharaiya and I have formed a four-person team. We attended six meetings last year. The orator speaks on one book for about an hour and later there is discussion. I enjoy these events. I write my feedback to them. This has given me friends like Jay Vashi, Dipak Desai, Chhayaben, Jasubhai Naik and Hetalben. The 50^th episode of this series was unique - Desai Musical Orchestra presented their book review with film songs.

Jalnagarians

• The residential society we stay at is 30+ years old and nearly 70 families have been staying from the beginning. We meet nine nights during Navratri and Dussehra is celebrated with dinner of the 150-170 residents, more than 70 participate regularly. This year also we had 10 days gathering at early night with Ras-Garba. We come to learn more and more about one another every year.
• In the North-West corner of Jalnagar Society, 11 eleven houses and ~40 residents have made a unique family, meeting regularly on our terrace. Either we eat Khichdi-Kadhi, Ubadiya-Jalebi, Ragada-Patties, Pav-Bhaji or anything like that prepared by ourselves. Ketan-Kamal and Mehul are the key members volunteering their services and managing the whole show.
• This year, three of our members passed away and we were together with their family all throughout, till the last rites are performed. While making them feel comfortable and eat, we eat together and stay with them - a rarely seen togetherness is seen here.
• We celebrated 90th birthday of Sharda-Ba on 27-Jul-2018. Our family also gathered to say good-bye to Shiv Vashi going to Canada for higher education. We blessed him on 03-Aug-2018.

Medical Meetings

• I have attended a dozen of clinical meetings organized by Indian Medical Association (IMA) Bilimora. During such meetings, I get the fellowship of the friends around and increase in the general medical knowledge. I just do not go for the dinner offered. We also have the South Gujarat Ophthalmic Association and Valsad Area Eye Surgeon Group. I had four-to-five occasions to attend them.

Senior Citizens’ Club

• Being of 60+ age, I have joined Bilimora Senior Citizens’ Club and was selected as Vice President. I take an active part in their deliberations. I have organised lectures of Sureshbhai Desai, Navsari on old-age and Dr Radha Mehta, Navsari on psychological problems of old-age. I have attended six general meetings and seven board meetings.
• I have been active in South Gujarat Senior Citizen Society too. I attended their quarterly meeting at Navsari with Dr Bhavana. I was the key person in holding their Bilimora meeting.
• Old-age people behave differently compared to young-age and children. I find a nice time with new friends.

Movies

• Dr Bhavana and I have watched 21 movies in the cinema house this year! It felt like having seen one movie a week, but I was wrong.
• We have a group of nine people, Dr Gilitwala couple, Dr Vijaybhai Desai couple, Anilbhai Desai couple and we two making eight with Prof Minu Desai, the ninth. Dr Bhavana usually contacts all of them and I bring tickets from advance booking.
• Bilimora has only one cinema house (multiplex) and two screens showing two movies simultaneously. The audience is a big problem. Many times, even 10 patrons do not come and the show has to be cancelled. We do not face this problem nowadays because of our own group.
• We saw many Gujarati movies as well this year, including Chal Man Jitva Jayaye, Chitkar, Reva, Shu Thayu, Swayamwar and Sharat Lagu. Nowadays they are comparable or even better than Hindi ones. On Bhavana’s birthday, we invited 14 people to see Sharato Lagu Gujarati movie and it was a great, unusual birthday celebration.
• Every movie we go for many not be good! Actually, the pleasure and enjoyment gained during the movie depend on one’s own mood and company. I take the liberty to sleep off and on during the movie. All in all, this is one of our important pass-time activities.

Events