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મારું વસિયતનામું

માંદગીમાં સારવાર અને મરણ વખતની ક્રિયાઓને લાગતું વસિયતનામું 
મારી સાંઠ વર્ષની ઉંમરે મે મારી આત્મકથા લખેલી તેમાં મારી માંદગીની સારવાર અને મૃત્યુ પછીની વિધિઓ મારા પત્ની અને બાળકો જેમ કરશે તે મને મંજુર રહેશે-એવું વિધાન મે કર્યું હતું. હા, તે વાત હું હજીપણ એમની એમ જ સ્વીકારું જ છું પરંતુ, હવે દસ વર્ષ પછીના મારા વિચારોનો ખ્યાલ આવે એટલા પૂરતું આ પત્ર લખું છું. 
મારી શારીરિક તકલીફોનો ઈલાજ કઈ રીતે કરાવવું તે બાબતે કમસેકમ મારા પોતાને લગતા કેટલાક ખ્યાલો મે નક્કી કર્યા છે, તેનું વિગતવાર વર્ણન હું કરીશ.


જો બેભાન ન હોઉ અથવા કહો કે માનસિક રીતે નિર્ણયશક્તિ ગુમાવી ન ચુક્યો હોઉ તો, મારી ઉંમરને લગતી કોઈપણ માંદગીની કેવી-કેટલી અને ક્યાં સારવાર કરાવવી તેનો નિર્ણય હું લઈશ. પણ હું બોલીને કે બીજીરીતે કહી ન શકું એમ બને તો માર્ગદર્શક બને એ રીતે સારવારની વાતો કહીશ.

On Father’s Day

Parents are important. Because we take birth because of them. They get married (usually)and decide to become parents. They stop anti-pregnancy drugs-contraceptives, they start loving(!) each other and have a physical relationship or sometimes even tolerate the torture of IVF and end result is the birth of a child - YOU! So, in a time of very late marriages, delayed parenthood and zero-to-one child, to take birth is no accident. Point being, the parents are important and the children should be grateful to them.

Rahul & Shivani's Wedding

Whatever smartness or intelligence one has, to anticipate the probable attitude of the future partner is difficult. So for the continuation of the marriage, adjustment and compromises are must, compulsory.



One has to marry because the law does not allow man-woman physical relations at random and society has laid certain norms of man-woman staying together. Though liberate present-day scenario allows live-in relations and physical relationship without much fuss, marriages are unavoidable.

Once decided to marry, the second question arising is the method – the technique of the wedding. How many persons to be invited, the place of the wedding, the menu and its preparation and the details of the function is the subject of this article.

When A Daughter Gets Married... Against Parents' Will...

Generally, the wedding of a daughter is event parents plan from the day of her birth. They start saving money and dream about the son-in-law to be. But all these have one condition tagged – “Consent of Parents”. Or say a final decision has to be with and as per the will of the parents. When this does not happen and daughter decides to marry at her own will – against the consent of parents, they get shocked emotionally to its deepest level and this is the subject of my discussion.

The Sun, The Name

The sun is hot, so provides heat...
It's enlightened, so provides light...


Gujarati synonyms for the sun are Suraj (સૂરજ), Bhaskar (ભાસ્કર), Ravi (રવિ )...

Here is a coincidence to quote:
The father's name was Bhaskar (Sun) till he started the schoolAnd the son's name was Ravi (Sun) till he started the school Their parents changed their names in school as Bharatchandra and Rahul, respectively!

Weddings In Two Opposite Styles: Destination Wedding Vs. Elopement

Destination Wedding:
It is a wedding event generally held far away from residences of the would-be couple.Here, the wedding is hosted in a location where guests have to travel long to reach the said wedding place... the DESTINATION.Guests are expected to stay long for the event.Places are usually grand like Palace, Resort, Beach. In India, Goa, Udaipur and some resorts near Mumbai are typically considered. It is one's imagination and choice.
Elopement:
This is a way of getting married... often unexpectedly... without inviting guests to the wedding.Usually, such weddings are without consent and/or knowledge of the parents.Such weddings, when informed to relatives, are often a surprise.

Pledge On Dasserra '13

Take a pledge this Dasserra:

Decide the dates for meeting parents staying awayIf by chance your parents are staying away from you, fix minimum two to three of these days every year for meeting the parents:

Your own birthdayYour wedding anniversaryNew year day morningHoliRaksha-bandhanMakar SankrantiIndependence/Republic Day orAny date suitable to you every year

Feelings And Emotions On My 62nd Birthday

As we know, a birthday comes once every year. We are not talking here about many birthdays a year for some secret reasons. And it is a story of the past when nobody was aware or cautious about remembering, greeting or celebrating the birthday and the said day was passing unnoticed just like any other day.

Greetings and celebrations are must nowadays for many causes like birth, marriage, inaugurations and getting some award, appreciation success. And so birthday celebrations are a must. I want to talk about ways and time of birthday greetings and emotions that followed.

Are You Eligible To Demand Death?

Before demanding death, have you received the "No Objection Certificate" from your children?

At a certain age, a person gets tired of one's life and starts waiting for death. During the lifetime he has passed, it is quite possible he/she had a great career, so-called success and enough earning. But a sense of frustration, unhappiness and dissatisfaction prevails leading to depression demanding the end of the life - death.

Modern Parents And Supra Modern Children

Parents of today have become parents at a high cost of fertilization by IVF and what not. They cannot dream of a second child and so the only one (single) child, though not advisable, is the most precious child.

Now, all their expectations, ambitions, failures and frustrations are to be dreamt of on the said child. Because they cannot give enough time for the upbringing - so-called available time is spared for them as a quality time, because of a sense of guilt they have.


Acknowledging Those Who Matter

Thank the key people who made you what you are.

Prepare a list of first five persons who you think made you what you are, inform them and thank them. I am sure, you will not only have great pleasure and relaxation, but also a feeling you never experienced.

Now you know where to go for your problems.


Before Saying "Yes" For Marriage - II

Expectations from everything have gone high, be it any relation or life. And in that, marriage is no exception. So one has to be alert before saying "YES" for marriage or marriage may end suddenly without any chance of compromise. Though issues I am going to put forward may sound small and petty, they actually are of great importance.

Are Old-age-homes Meant For My Parents?

Or if I may ask, are my parents worth sending and keeping in an old-age-home?

The need for time demands more and more old-age-homes to be built. Because:
Expense: No problem.Monthly payment amount: No problem.Servants, cook and other staff needed: No problem.Whatever has to be done: No problem!

Breaking The Chain Of Relations

Break verb.
InterruptTo stop doing something for a whileDestroyEnd of relationChainnoun.
Connection by links or ringsSeries of connected things e.g. hotels, shopsContinuous connection due to attachmentsRelationnoun.
Way in which one person is connected/associated with anotherContacts or link between people, groups or countriesAttachment between two because of birth, marriage or contact

Balancing Relations

Balancing two sides of relations:
A son/daughter: Parents and offspringsA married woman: Parents and parents-in-lawsA married son: Wife and parents When you are any of the above, you are an in-between person. You have to be tricky, cautious and careful person in handling either side maintaining your own views or you will be in trouble. You need not be judging any, but you have to be neutral and caring both.

Void After My Father's Departure

One year back, I was writing about myself in an article Death at 60. I wrote there I was ready to die at any time, but given a choice, I would like to wait until my father was alive. My purpose for this demand of concession was my desire to support my father morally and physically in his old age. Well, he did not agree to this and went away forever on his own. So, I can loudly pronounce now “I am ready to die!”

However, I have yet to learn how to react to someone when I disagree with and/or my ideas differ in total from the concerned person. At present, in such situations, I keep myself away and withdraw myself. It can be labelled as escapism. But coming to consensus or agreement is not always easy. Due to the generation gap or a conservative approach of parents, the difference of opinion is bound to be there. Here, both parties should take care of maintaining the dignity of the other. The ideal option is to ignore the nature of the parents and forgive them immediately.

Visiting The Friends/Family: When And How?

Why and how should we visit our close relatives/friends? Close relatives are the best God-gift,. I would first like to talk about who they are, to start this article. They are:
ParentsSon/daughterBrother/sisterAbove relatives-in-law andClose friends

Long Vacation At Bengaluru

After voluntary retirement as Government Medical Officer, my wife Dr Bhavana (Devyani) wanted to have a vacation and I joined her. The long break of 14 days (2 weeks) was starting on date 9th March 2011 and ending on 23rd March 2011. We planned to stay at Rahul’s (our son) residence at Bangalore and return to Bilimora.

Vacation - is stopping the continuous job/work and retire at some place at leisure. We know vacation is a change of activity and we did that. It is a recess, say a break or temporary cessation of routine work.

Is vacation necessary?

Parents And Children On Facebook

Parents and Children on Facebook:

If all the concerned are transparent and so open to have any dialogue, if each can talk freely without fear or hesitation, 'friendship on Facebook' is not a problem.

Well, all have to be frank and open is a pre-condition or better be away from here, as otherwise also they are!