Dr. Bharat Desai's Blog

My mother passed away on 6 Oct 2010. I can say I was with my mother till 60 years of my life. Prof. Sandhyaben Bhatt (Bardoli) sent me her article on her mother and asked me to tell her about my mother. But I was reluctant to spell a few words here and there about my mother because I was considering her beyond words. Anytime, I was remembering her and praising mother is always inadequate and much less compared to the mother’s dedication for her offsprings.

My random thoughts on demise of a mother. What do I understand while pronouncing “mother”? I do not need to go far away. I just see so many mothers around, to name a few, I shall say:                 Dr Bhavana Desai (My wife)                 Dr Amita Desai                 Dr Shefali Naik                 Mina Vijay Desai

Balancing two sides of relations: A son/daughter: Parents and offsprings A married woman: Parents and parents-in-laws A married son: Wife and parents When you are any of the above, you are an in-between person. You have to be tricky, cautious and careful person in handling either side maintaining your own views or you will be in trouble. You need not be judging any, but you have to be neutral and caring both.

A few days ago, my mother (84) passed away of old age. I had an experience of being in a state of sorrow due to her demise. The article is an outcome of experiences following the incidence. I did realize the need and importance of true consolation to the grieved person. So I thought it is prudent to write from the heart words giving guidance. Condolence : It is expressing sympathy to a misfortune or bereavement (one deprived of relative because of death). Consolation : To give comfort or sympathy to an unhappy person. On the death of a close relative, a sudden gap is created due to the absence of that relative. Even the mentally strong person understanding every aspect of the event becomes shocked for a while. Here is the need of true consolation known as 'condolence.'

If a husband competes with his wife, it is quite possible, he’d win. But if a father competes a mother in reference to love, emotions, feelings of her to her offsprings, it is impossible to win.