Dr. Bharat Desai's Blog

Reunion is a relatively newly established word that describes getting together and meeting friends of the same study year, or batchmates. Say 1969 was the admission year for MBBS for 75 students in Government Medical College, Surat. After a long gap of 50 years, we decided to meet again in Surat - a reunion! Dr. Uday R Shah initiated and carried forward the planning four months before. Dr. Jitu, Dr. Shubhash, Dr. Nila and Dr. Pragna made an organizing committee of five with Dr. Uday. They declared 11-Sep-2022, Sunday as the final date to meet and Surat as Venue, so all could plan accordingly. List of Attendees Making a list of all 75 batchmates was a very difficult task. All co-operated nicely and the perseverance of Uday made it a great success. 24 friends have passed away (making up nearly one-third of all), 18+ are abroad (mostly in the US) and 39 are here. Despite all sincere attempts, three could not be traced! They are namely: Damayanti Bhagwan, Manchharamani, and Sudha Kama...

Present day thinking leads to breaking a relation on many occasions. It is undesirable but still natural. Don't get panicked about it; relax and think over the following:

We are social animals. We have friends and relatives. Being socially attached, we need and desire to meet them. So the question is: Where do you meet them nowadays? Well, honest and multiple answers to this simple question are quite simple. Let me enumerate the list of present-day meeting places.

Facebook Friends More the number of friends, more the time needed to see their updates and respond. Sometimes, one feels it is a waste of time. So better avoid unknown, half-known and the friends of friends types. What is the ideal maximum number?

Your Relations/Friends and You ! Every relation has three possible situations: Relation with both Love and Respect Relation, but neither Love nor Respect  Relation with either of the two: Love Or Respect Now whatever one of the above three you find about any given relationship/friendship, the ideal approach is to respond all with love and respect in total. Just try...

Friends and friendships in a freeze : If you did not have any meeting, letter-exchange, SMS or phone conversation in the last 365 days (one full year) with your friend, it means you are not considering any need to do so. I consider such relations 'frozen' and reopening them may not be that simple for such a taken-for-granted relation.

"Because" in relations... Because you did not attend my wedding, I will not attend yours. Because you did not attend my parents' funeral, I will not attend your parents' funeral. Because you did not give loan when I needed, I won't either. Because you did not invite me in your celebration, I too will not. Because,... Because,..... This accounting and reciprocating equally and accordingly is neither friendship nor family relationship.

Expectations from "Facebook Friends" : Do share your thought-cycles, emotions and events... friends expect that! Do respond to the post you see on your home page by comments and whatever you feel like... That is a must for any friendship! Do send your greetings on birthdays, wedding anniversary and other important events... If you do not feel like posting to someone, he/she is not your friend, better delete that name. Do not share too many quotes, songs or articles; they make the home-page filled with such materials, and important messages get hidden... think over this, it is important. If someone else has opened your Facebook account for you and you are never operating it, better ask the same fellow to delete the account. Your friends may not know about your passivity!

Whom to praise ? My medical college hostel-partner for six years (1969-1975) and co-student of M.B.B.S. study, Dr. Chhotubhai S Patel passed away at the age of 62. In spite of vehicle, telephone, mobile and other modes of connectivity, I visited his home only twice in the last 35 years and the third visit was after his demise. This is the real life story of two friends staying barely 30 km away. My friend was straight forward, kind and had all the characters of a good friend. My son Rahul and my daughter Vaishali can tell me just the opposite story of their connectivity with their friends and frequency of meeting their friends. Then who is to be praised? The older or the modern generation..??

Thank the key people who made you what you are. Prepare a list of first five persons who you think made you what you are, inform them and thank them. I am sure, you will not only have great pleasure and relaxation, but also a feeling you never experienced. Now you know where to go for your problems.

Why and how should we visit our close relatives/friends? Close relatives are the best God-gift,. I would first like to talk about who they are, to start this article. They are: Parents Son/daughter Brother/sister Above relatives-in-law and Close friends

Continued from  I, at 60 Before starting this story, I must admit, I have been accompanied by a brother before birth till today - a pair of twins. We are hardly comparable in any way or let me say, we are totally different in nature, look and attitude - we are always available to each other. I had parents to guide me till 60, of whom I lost my mother a month back. My father is always available with his viewpoint to guide me in need on any issue with clarity of thought and without forcing to follow the same. I understand it as a great luxury many do not have.

Lifeline : In Kaun Banega Crorepati (KBC), a TV game show, they say one shouldn't delay decision of using a lifeline when in confusion or state of uncertainty. Or else, you may lose lots of money, or possible all your money. Similarly in real life, in the state of confusion, frustration or uncertainty, don't hesitate in using available lifeline (here, a lifeline may mean parents, close relatives, friends) immediately or you will end up with troubles having no way out. - Dr. Shashikant Shah

A few days ago, my mother (84) passed away of old age. I had an experience of being in a state of sorrow due to her demise. The article is an outcome of experiences following the incidence. I did realize the need and importance of true consolation to the grieved person. So I thought it is prudent to write from the heart words giving guidance. Condolence : It is expressing sympathy to a misfortune or bereavement (one deprived of relative because of death). Consolation : To give comfort or sympathy to an unhappy person. On the death of a close relative, a sudden gap is created due to the absence of that relative. Even the mentally strong person understanding every aspect of the event becomes shocked for a while. Here is the need of true consolation known as 'condolence.'

The day you start counting what you have done for your friend/relative, the relationship is either over or about to die. The base of any relation is moral/psychological support, physical work and financial/materialistic help. It has to be endless and beyond counts. Once you start falling short of this, you go finding all such things and expecting reward or reciprocation. Well, that is the end of relation.

National Conference on Mind-Body-Medicine Mount Abu August 6-10, 2010 Part-I The Journey Part-II Stay, Food and Beverages Part-III Mount Abu in Rainy Season Part-IV New Friends

When you start receiving the following... No new messages or emails  No mobile calls to disturb you round the day  Phones and letters are left only for death news ...don't bother much about them. Start understanding the limit of relationships and be on-guard, instead of disturbing concerned the persons.