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દિકરીના અવિચારી લગ્ન અને મા–બાપ: અભ્યાસ લેખ

સાધારણ રીતે, દીકરીના જન્મના વધરામણા સાથે જ તેના લગ્નના મંગળમય દિવસનું આયોજન મા બાપ શરૂ કરતાં હોય છે. પૈસા બચાવતા થઈને ભાવિ જમાઈ વિષેના દીવાસ્વ્પ્નોમાં રાચવા માંડે છે. પણ આ બધાં વચ્ચે મા બાપ પોતાની મરજી, પોતાની સંમતિ અને પોતાનો નિર્ણય દિકરીના લગ્ન માટે ફરજીયાત સમજતાં હોય છે. તેથી જયારે આવું નથી થતું અને પુત્રી પોતાની મરજીથી મા બાપની પરવાનગી, ઈચ્છા વિરુદ્ધ જયારે લગ્ન કરે છે ત્યારે, મા બાપ ઉપર આભ તૂટી પડે એટલું દુ:ખ આવી પડતું હોય છે.

આવું કેમ થાય છે? તે વિષયની અહીં ચર્ચા કરીએ.

Wedding Announcement

In Greece, there is a law about marriages. It forces you to give a detailed advertisement of marriage decision telling about both bride and groom.... one month in advance, in the newspaper.

I think this exercise gives you time to reconsider regarding the prudence of your decision. You may analyse your said partner and think about compatibility. Then the chances of cancelling the decision are more.

Or readers of the news may warn you about the drawbacks of the said partner, leading to no marriage at the said place.

Respect To Wife

After getting married, the wife changes her name and adds husband's name. Similarly, the husband should also add wife's name to his. And both can drop their fathers' names.

After the wedding, the wife wears "Mangal Sutra" and applies "Bindi" on her forehead. The married man - the husband - too should find out similar symbolic marks on neck and forehead. And till then, he should copy wearing Mangal Sutra and Bindi.


Rahul & Shivani's Wedding

Whatever smartness or intelligence one has, to decide the probable attitude of future partner is difficult. So for the continuation of a marriage, adjustment and compromises are must, compulsory.



One has to marry because the law does not allow man-woman physical relations at random and society has laid certain norms of man-woman staying together. Though liberate present-day scenario allows live-in relations and physical relationship without much fuss, marriages are unavoidable.

Once decided to marry, the second question arising is the method – the technique of the wedding. How many persons to be invited, the place of the wedding, the menu and its preparation and the details of the function is the subject of this article.

When A Daughter Gets Married... Against Parents' Will...

Generally, the wedding of a daughter is event parents plan from the day of her birth. They start saving money and dream about the son-in-law to be. But all these have one condition tagged – “Consent of Parents”. Or say a final decision has to be with and as per the will of the parents. When this does not happen and daughter decides to marry at her own will – against the consent of parents, they get shocked emotionally to its deepest level and this is the subject of my discussion.

Weddings Two Opposite Styles: Destination Wedding Vs. Elopement

Destination Wedding:

It is a wedding event generally held far away from residences of the would be couple.Here, the wedding is hosted in a location where guests have to travel long to reach the said wedding place... the DESTINATION.Guests are expected to stay long for the event.Places are usually grand like: Palace, Resort, Beach. In India, Goa, Udaipur and some resorts near Mumbai are typically considered. It is one's imagination and choice.
Elopement:

This is a way of getting married... often unexpectedly... without inviting guests to wedding.Usually such weddings are without consent and/or knowledge of the parents.Such weddings when informed to relatives are often a surprise.

Marriage Workshop

Workshop by parents of a son and/or daughter on marriage is a must.

Parents should enlist and explain in details the Do's and Dont's for success of married life.

Just having good look, good qualification and good earning does not make a marriage successful. These things can only work as a base for agreeing to marry.

Inter-personnel manners, care for each-other and maintaining dignity of relations makes the most important issues.

Or failure is certain!!!


Before Saying "Yes" For Marriage - II

Expectations from everything have gone high, be it any relation or life. And in that, marriage is no exception. So one has to be alert before saying "YES" for marriage or marriage may end suddenly without any chance of compromise. Though issues I am going to put forward may sound small and petty, they actually are of great importance.

Before Saying "Yes" For Marriage

Typically marriages are decided by one of these two methods in our society:
Arranged Marriage: Socially accepted and practised method where ‘offer’ for marriage is given by appropriate party and then, marriage is finalized on the basis of match-making.Love Marriage: Recently established way of selecting marriage partner after some contact, friendship and/or attraction because of looks. Here prospective partners for marriage decide themselves marry with or without consent from parents and families.

Balancing Relations

Balancing two sides of relations:
A son/daughter: Parents and offspringsA married woman: Parents and parents-in-lawsA married son: Wife and parents When you are any of the above, you are an in-between person. You have to be tricky, cautious and careful person in handling either side maintaining your own views or you will be in trouble. You need not be judging any, but you have to be neutral and caring both.

For Parents of A Married Son

Be cautious in critising the in-laws of your son; he may not like it even if you are right.

Avoid being critic with bad taste, you will be the loser.

Your son is married and he is neutral to both the sides, non-biased for any.

Family Planning

It is the THE RIGHT of a married couple to decide when to be parents and how many times. Parents and parents-in-law must not dictate or suggest about what they wish.

In my opinion, ideal is the first child soon after the wedding, second at the earliest convenient time. Late parenthood is complicated and difficult once in a while. Single child is sometimes a problem child.


For Daughters, Married And About-to-Marry

About relationship with your parents and parents-in-law:
Never think of in-laws as your opponents or enemies. They have some limitations of nature, similarly you too have. Simply accept. Bringing your parents in problem with in-laws does not solve it, but complicate it most of the times. Think it over,... ultimately it is your life.