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દિકરીના અવિચારી લગ્ન અને મા–બાપ: અભ્યાસ લેખ

સાધારણ રીતે, દીકરીના જન્મના વધરામણા સાથે જ તેના લગ્નના મંગળમય દિવસનું આયોજન મા બાપ શરૂ કરતાં હોય છે. પૈસા બચાવતા થઈને ભાવિ જમાઈ વિષેના દીવાસ્વ્પ્નોમાં રાચવા માંડે છે. પણ આ બધાં વચ્ચે મા બાપ પોતાની મરજી, પોતાની સંમતિ અને પોતાનો નિર્ણય દિકરીના લગ્ન માટે ફરજીયાત સમજતાં હોય છે. તેથી જયારે આવું નથી થતું અને પુત્રી પોતાની મરજીથી મા બાપની પરવાનગી, ઈચ્છા વિરુદ્ધ જયારે લગ્ન કરે છે ત્યારે, મા બાપ ઉપર આભ તૂટી પડે એટલું દુ:ખ આવી પડતું હોય છે.

આવું કેમ થાય છે? તે વિષયની અહીં ચર્ચા કરીએ.

On Father’s Day

Parents are important. Because we take birth because of them. They get married (usually)and decide to become parents. They stop anti-pregnancy drugs-contraceptives, they start loving(!) each other and have a physical relationship or sometimes even tolerate the torture of IVF and end result is the birth of a child - YOU! So, in a time of very late marriages, delayed parenthood and zero-to-one child, to take birth is no accident. Point being, the parents are important and the children should be grateful to them.

When A Daughter Gets Married... Against Parents' Will...

Generally, the wedding of a daughter is event parents plan from the day of her birth. They start saving money and dream about the son-in-law to be. But all these have one condition tagged – “Consent of Parents”. Or say a final decision has to be with and as per the will of the parents. When this does not happen and daughter decides to marry at her own will – against the consent of parents, they get shocked emotionally to its deepest level and this is the subject of my discussion.

Become an iMature Student – A Book On Internet

Computer users having internet connection are most of the time restricted to the Social Media like "Facebook" or just reading E-mails received. Here is a book for them to teach all the details on the subject. Author Raghu Pandey (an Expert on Internet)  has spent more than 18 months in preparing this book to make us understand the subject in the most simple and easy way. This is a book for all!

Pledge On Dasserra '13

Take a pledge this Dasserra:

Decide the dates for meeting parents staying awayIf by chance your parents are staying away from you, fix minimum two to three of these days every year for meeting the parents:

Your own birthdayYour wedding anniversaryNew year day morningHoliRaksha-bandhanMakar SankrantiIndependence/Republic Day orAny date suitable to you every year

Marriage Workshop

Workshop by parents of a son and/or daughter on marriage is a must.

Parents should enlist and explain in details the Do's and Dont's for success of married life.

Just having good look, good qualification and good earning does not make a marriage successful. These things can only work as a base for agreeing to marry.

Inter-personnel manners, care for each-other and maintaining dignity of relations makes the most important issues.

Or failure is certain!!!


Father's Letter To Son On Completion Of Studies

My letter to my son Rahul on completion of studies.

December 21, 2004
Beloved Ravi,

When one is finalizing a job if options are available, what are the basic criteria?
Place: Country/citySalary and probable incrementsAdvantage of learning and exposure to updatingParents

Modern Parents And Supra Modern Children

Parents of today have become parents at a high cost of fertilization by IVF and what not. They cannot dream of a second child and so the only one (single) child, though not advisable, is the most precious child.

Now, all their expectations, ambitions, failures and frustrations are to be dreamt of on the said child. Because they cannot give enough time for the upbringing - so-called available time is spared for them as a quality time, because of a sense of guilt they have.


Are Old-age-homes Meant For My Parents?

Or if I may ask, are my parents worth sending and keeping in an old-age-home?

The need for time demands more and more old-age-homes to be built. Because:
Expense: No problem.Monthly payment amount: No problem.Servants, cook and other staff needed: No problem.Whatever has to be done: No problem!

Breaking The Chain Of Relations

Break verb.
InterruptTo stop doing something for a whileDestroyEnd of relationChainnoun.
Connection by links or ringsSeries of connected things e.g. hotels, shopsContinuous connection due to attachmentsRelationnoun.
Way in which one person is connected/associated with anotherContacts or link between people, groups or countriesAttachment between two because of birth, marriage or contact

Balancing Relations

Balancing two sides of relations:
A son/daughter: Parents and offspringsA married woman: Parents and parents-in-lawsA married son: Wife and parents When you are any of the above, you are an in-between person. You have to be tricky, cautious and careful person in handling either side maintaining your own views or you will be in trouble. You need not be judging any, but you have to be neutral and caring both.

Void After My Father's Departure

One year back, I was writing about myself in an article Death at 60. I wrote there I was ready to die at any time, but given a choice, I would like to wait until my father was alive. My purpose for this demand of concession was my desire to support my father morally and physically in his old age. Well, he did not agree to this and went away forever on his own. So, I can loudly pronounce now “I am ready to die!”

However, I have yet to learn how to react to someone when I disagree with and/or my ideas differ in total from the concerned person. At present, in such situations, I keep myself away and withdraw myself. It can be labelled as escapism. But coming to consensus or agreement is not always easy. Due to the generation gap or a conservative approach of parents, the difference of opinion is bound to be there. Here, both parties should take care of maintaining the dignity of the other. The ideal option is to ignore the nature of the parents and forgive them immediately.

Parents And Children On Facebook

Parents and Children on Facebook:

If all the concerned are transparent and so open to have any dialogue, if each can talk freely without fear or hesitation, 'friendship on Facebook' is not a problem.

Well, all have to be frank and open is a pre-condition or better be away from here, as otherwise also they are!


Misguiding Parents Alert

BE ALERT!

When either of your parents comment, criticise or say something about your spouse/life-partner in absence of the concerned partner, be alert. They may be wrong or say prejudiced. So be alert, prudent and cautious before discussing this or taking any action against the concerned person.

For Parents of A Married Son

Be cautious in critising the in-laws of your son; he may not like it even if you are right.

Avoid being critic with bad taste, you will be the loser.

Your son is married and he is neutral to both the sides, non-biased for any.

Father's Reply To A Daughter Married Against His Will

From:    Dr Bharat Desai
To:         feedback2jyoti@chitralekha.com
Date:      Sun, Jul 18, 2010, at 9:53 PM
Subject:  Father's reply to a daughter married against his will, on Father's day.


Beloved Prathana,

This is a reply to your letter published in Chitralekha direct from the heart of a Father, uncensored.


Family Planning

It is the THE RIGHT of a married couple to decide when to be parents and how many times. Parents and parents-in-law must not dictate or suggest about what they wish.

In my opinion, ideal is the first child soon after the wedding, second at the earliest convenient time. Late parenthood is complicated and difficult once in a while. Single child is sometimes a problem child.


Sunday Diary - Jan 10, 2010

If a husband competes with his wife, it is quite possible, he’d win. But if a father competes a mother in reference to love, emotions, feelings of her to her offsprings, it is impossible to win.








For Daughters, Married And About-to-Marry

About relationship with your parents and parents-in-law:
Never think of in-laws as your opponents or enemies. They have some limitations of nature, similarly you too have. Simply accept. Bringing your parents in problem with in-laws does not solve it, but complicate it most of the times. Think it over,... ultimately it is your life.