Skip to main content

Modern Parents And Supra Modern Children

Parents of today have become parents at a high cost of fertilization by IVF and what not. They cannot dream of a second child and so the only one (single) child, though not advisable, is the most precious child.

Now, all their expectations, ambitions, failures and frustrations are to be dreamt of on the said child. Because they cannot give enough time for the upbringing - so-called available time is spared for them as a quality time, because of a sense of guilt they have.


With this preface, I should come to the present issue. Because of having an only child - they will spend heavily or say, beyond their capacity - for the upbringing of the child. They will spend for the best (said to be) school and give unnecessary high donations. To keep their child at number one (which is neither required nor good) they will start tuitions over and above school education from K.G. - a time for play is wasted on the study. With all these, the child may not come to the expectations and parents are ready to pay an unreasonable donation of 30 - 40 lacs for undergraduate and around one crore at post-graduation study. And, the end result is, a child is highly qualified.

We are not even talking about luxurious expenses on a branded bag, a number of clothes, two or four wheelers, birthdays or such parties and every vacation tour abroad or in India.

With all these, a child starts understanding oneself as a superhuman - a great personality on the earth and does not know about the limitations of the world and fails to understand failures, frustrations of life. Till the age s/he studies, all her/his desires are fulfilled by parents whether they can afford or not, so s/he does not realize even for once that everything he desires may not come true every time, and, very often he may not be on the top of all the competitions.

Having said all this, I want to tell the most important part of the story. Now he is more qualified than his parents and now he earns more than his parents ever earned at all. Here starts the problem. Every parent always desires that he must be more qualified and they are proud and happy to learn that their offspring earn a lot. Then what is the issue? The issue is here - the offspring does not think so. He starts thinking himself far more superior to the parents in all aspects. He feels that parents are conservative and does not know anything about the modern day etiquettes to the extent, sometimes, he starts insulting and hating them.

Maybe, I am talking about the exceptions and not the rule:
  1. All I want to convey to the parents is about teaching the offspring discipline from day one, he learns to speak and hear. And the offspring will follow. Parents have to make an example set by the mannerisms they show with their parents and there are chances the child does not have a wrong concept.
  2. Parents should teach about limitations of and possibilities of failures once in a while. 
  3. While parents may be less qualified, less earning and sometimes arrogant – ideal is controlled manners on the side of offspring.

Comments

Popular this week:

Pyramid Of Virgin Dreams

This is a novel depicting the story of an IAS officer’s life. Author Vipul Mitra is himself an IAS officer serving in Gujarat and living with his family in Ahmedabad. This book could take birth after ten years of thinking, writing and rewriting!  The title pyramid was derived from an Egyptian pyramid with a gigantic structure, a symbol of power stretching higher and higher into the sky. The author compares the pyramid with bureaucrats. He says the only difference was that one housed deceased Egyptian pharaohs while other housed living, conniving, tattling officers. There is a long (300 pages!) story of dreams those are virgin like unconsummated physical relation! You will read this novel to know what happens to Kartikeya Kukereja who meets his first failed love Revati Kapoor after both married and long gap of time passes. Revati desires to re-unite but does Kartikeya have the courage to hold on Revati? Honest? Mediocre? Coward? Does he ultimately succeed in fitting her in his life?  Th

Anavils - An Endangered Community

After Parsis, Anavils ( Anavil Brahmins , અનાવિલ બ્રાહ્મણ ) are the fastest decreasing community. The total population of Anavils around the world does not exceed two lakhs figure and that is also fast reducing day by day. Days are not far, beyond a century or so, when they will have to be seen/found in records, photos and videos. Why? Because,    - they get married too late,    - many are dying unmarried,    - they wait for the career to be settled before the first (and maybe the only) childbirth.

Gujarat – Introduction And History

A student of History has to understand Geography, Economics and Anthropology simultaneously. A person curious to know about world history has to proceed step by step, learning his own state first, then country and then only one can understand world history. Well, appreciating above facts, I am starting my study with History Of My State Of Gujarat . I have put it in order of time and later described important states and rulers.

Karmic Theory (Law Of Karma)

“Facing Challenges and Creating Destiny” by BK Shivani, Gurgaon National Conference on Mind-Body-Medicine, Mount Abu. August 6-10, 2010 What is Karma? Karma is work or energy going out in the form of 1. Thought, 2. Word and/or 3. Action. Resultant return of energy is in the same amount known as Bhagya (Destiny). The role of God is to ask you to do Karma and to help you to do RIGHT karma. Then whatever good/bad karma you do, the result is accordingly and entirely your responsibility. Because the result is Destiny (Bhagya). So don’t blame anyone else or God for anything bad. Do not try to blame someone responsible for your own deed and its result.

Family Reunion 2021

My daughter-in-law Shivani has seen many family get-togethers during the last decade at her paternal home town - Dungri. So she wanted a similar gathering with the family in Bilimora. We four i.e. Bhavana, Vaishali , Rahul , and I were reluctant to hold one without any cause. Ultimately, we thought of trying this at least once, and so we decided to hold our Sharada Mohan family 's first " Family Reunion " on 24-25 January 2021, Sunday-Monday. A family is a unit of people formed naturally by brothers and sisters of the same parents. A family can be extended by adding uncles and aunts (Kaka, Fui, Mama, Masi) with their offspring. Thus, a family comprises the people who love and support the members in good and bad times. We tried to meet for two days and one night thinking it would be enough time - neither too short nor dragged. Yes,  we were happy and enjoyed all the while. To finalise the venue, we initially Anaval Shukleshwar Dham and Saidham, Majigam. The cleanliness a

When A Daughter Gets Married... Against Parents' Will...

Generally, the wedding of a daughter is event parents plan from the day of her birth. They start saving money and dream about the son-in-law to be. But all these have one condition tagged – “Consent of Parents”. Or say a final decision has to be with and as per the will of the parents. When this does not happen and daughter decides to marry at her own will – against the consent of parents, they get shocked emotionally to its deepest level and this is the subject of my discussion.

Jainism: Simplified

I am introducing here world spread religion having 5.5 million followers, mainly in India and abroad like USA, UK, Canada, East Africa and many other countries in one of the six greatest religions. Word "Jain" is derived from "Jina" meaning conqueror. "Arihant" is one who has destroyed his inner enemies like anger, greed, passion and ego.

અંગદનો પગ - પુસ્તક પરિચય

એક જ બેઠકમાં કે પછી સળંગ વાંચવાની ઉત્કંઠા જાગે એવી આ નવલકથાનો પરિચય કરાવવાનો નમ્ર પ્રયાસ કરતાં ખૂબ આનંદ થાય છે.  ભુજ રહેતા, હાલ 74 વર્ષીય, આપણાં લેખક શ્રી હરેશ ધોળકિયા જિંદગીના 25 વર્ષ શિક્ષણકાર્ય કરતાં હતા. અને આદર્શ શિક્ષકના એક લક્ષણ તરીકે પુસ્તકો વાંચવાની સરસ ટેવ ધરાવતા હતા. તે કારણે 1945 માં લખાયેલ 1930 ની કથાવસ્તુ ધરાવતી લેખિકા ઈયાન હેન્ડ દ્વારા લિખિત બે નવલકથાઓ વાંચે છે - 700+ પાનાંની Fountain Head (ફાઉન્ટન હેડ) સાત-સાત વાર સળંગ વાંચી તો 1150+ પાનાં ધરાવતી Atlas Shrugged (એટલાસ શ્રગ્ડ) પણ સળંગ અવારનવાર વાંચી. 1988ના વર્ષે થયેલ આ અકસ્માત(!) આપણી નવલકથાનું જન્મસ્થાન છે.  ફાઉન્ટન હેડ અને એટલાસ શ્રગ્ડ નવલકથાઓ રશિયન લેખિકા ઈયાન હેન્ડે અમેરિકા જઈને લખી છે અને બન્નેની 64 લાખ થી વધુ નકલો વિશ્વભરમાં વંચાય ચૂકી છે. બન્ને માં લેખકને “માનવ શ્રેષ્ઠત્વ” ના અદ્દભૂત દર્શન થયા છે. આ ઉપરાંત પ્રતિભાશાળી અને સામાન્ય (First Raters and Second Raters)નું તેમાં થયેલાં વર્ણન તેમણે આત્મશાત કર્યું છે.  પહેલા લેખકશ્રીના મિત્ર શ્રી સુરેશભાઈ પરીખે એટલાસ શ્રગ્ડનું ભાષાંતર કરવા સૂચવ્યું. ત્યાર પછી તેમના કોલેજના

Janki Van – A Nature Retreat

If you want to be alone to be with nature, it is an ideal spot. But if you enjoy crowds with your group this is an equally important place to visit. 42 km from Bilimora on Vansda Road, we reached Janki Van in less than an hour. Dr Nayana Patel, Dr Bhavana Desai (my wife) and I visited the place impromptu on a weekday. The name Janki  is related to Sita Mata of Ramayana and it is believed that at a certain point in the history, Sita Mata did stay here. The garden, a great picnic spot (16 hectors big), is situated 5 km away from Vansda, 6 km from Unai and 42 km from Bilimora. It is developed by the Gujarat Forestry Department under social forestry action and was inaugurated on 02-Aug-2015 while celebrating the Forest Day. Please, keep in mind it remains closed on Monday and visiting hours are 10:00 am to 5:00 pm.

Problems Of Old Age

I recently conducted a social study of the status and condition of old-aged people and the old-age homes in Gujarat. This is a combination of the outcome of the study and the book review of a Gujarati book “ Vrudhdhata Ni Samasya ” by Dr Hiteshkumar N. Patel.