Parents of today have become parents at a high cost of fertilization by IVF and what not. They cannot dream of a second child and so the only one (single) child, though not advisable, is the most precious child.
Now, all their expectations, ambitions, failures and frustrations are to be dreamt of on the said child. Because they cannot give enough time for the upbringing - so-called available time is spared for them as a quality time, because of a sense of guilt they have.
With this preface, I should come to the present issue. Because of having an only child - they will spend heavily or say, beyond their capacity - for the upbringing of the child. They will spend for the best (said to be) school and give unnecessary high donations. To keep their child at number one (which is neither required nor good) they will start tuitions over and above school education from K.G. - a time for play is wasted on the study. With all these, the child may not come to the expectations and parents are ready to pay an unreasonable donation of 30 - 40 lacs for undergraduate and around one crore at post-graduation study. And, the end result is, a child is highly qualified.
We are not even talking about luxurious expenses on a branded bag, a number of clothes, two or four wheelers, birthdays or such parties and every vacation tour abroad or in India.
With all these, a child starts understanding oneself as a superhuman - a great personality on the earth and does not know about the limitations of the world and fails to understand failures, frustrations of life. Till the age s/he studies, all her/his desires are fulfilled by parents whether they can afford or not, so s/he does not realize even for once that everything he desires may not come true every time, and, very often he may not be on the top of all the competitions.
Having said all this, I want to tell the most important part of the story. Now he is more qualified than his parents and now he earns more than his parents ever earned at all. Here starts the problem. Every parent always desires that he must be more qualified and they are proud and happy to learn that their offspring earn a lot. Then what is the issue? The issue is here - the offspring does not think so. He starts thinking himself far more superior to the parents in all aspects. He feels that parents are conservative and does not know anything about the modern day etiquettes to the extent, sometimes, he starts insulting and hating them.
Maybe, I am talking about the exceptions and not the rule:
Now, all their expectations, ambitions, failures and frustrations are to be dreamt of on the said child. Because they cannot give enough time for the upbringing - so-called available time is spared for them as a quality time, because of a sense of guilt they have.
With this preface, I should come to the present issue. Because of having an only child - they will spend heavily or say, beyond their capacity - for the upbringing of the child. They will spend for the best (said to be) school and give unnecessary high donations. To keep their child at number one (which is neither required nor good) they will start tuitions over and above school education from K.G. - a time for play is wasted on the study. With all these, the child may not come to the expectations and parents are ready to pay an unreasonable donation of 30 - 40 lacs for undergraduate and around one crore at post-graduation study. And, the end result is, a child is highly qualified.
We are not even talking about luxurious expenses on a branded bag, a number of clothes, two or four wheelers, birthdays or such parties and every vacation tour abroad or in India.
With all these, a child starts understanding oneself as a superhuman - a great personality on the earth and does not know about the limitations of the world and fails to understand failures, frustrations of life. Till the age s/he studies, all her/his desires are fulfilled by parents whether they can afford or not, so s/he does not realize even for once that everything he desires may not come true every time, and, very often he may not be on the top of all the competitions.
Having said all this, I want to tell the most important part of the story. Now he is more qualified than his parents and now he earns more than his parents ever earned at all. Here starts the problem. Every parent always desires that he must be more qualified and they are proud and happy to learn that their offspring earn a lot. Then what is the issue? The issue is here - the offspring does not think so. He starts thinking himself far more superior to the parents in all aspects. He feels that parents are conservative and does not know anything about the modern day etiquettes to the extent, sometimes, he starts insulting and hating them.
Maybe, I am talking about the exceptions and not the rule:
- All I want to convey to the parents is about teaching the offspring discipline from day one, he learns to speak and hear. And the offspring will follow. Parents have to make an example set by the mannerisms they show with their parents and there are chances the child does not have a wrong concept.
- Parents should teach about limitations of and possibilities of failures once in a while.
- While parents may be less qualified, less earning and sometimes arrogant – ideal is controlled manners on the side of offspring.