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Ophthalmologist

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Indian

I'm Bharat, a blogger from India.

When I started writing on my blog, I used to ask myself if I should write at all. If yes, why? I write for myself. This may sound egoistic but it is self-explanatory as well. Because I want freedom from my thought cycle, I get mental catharsis by just writing out whatever it is. While having some serious events with myself, say the death of my mother first and then father, writing down made a record of my emotions at a given time which I’m never going to repeat. I do write for my daughter, my son and their friends. I want to tell my experiences and let them know about me. I have done this in Life At 60 article series – my mini-autobiography, telling all about me. I want to summarize what I have read. My book reviews are one example. I can re-read the book and memorize the same after reading my own book reviews. I want to be a history teacher. I have read many books on the history of Gujarat, India and the world, I want to tell this as a storyteller to all. Lastly, I want to exhibit my level of high intelligence and prove it to myself, if not to others. The series of 250+ articles prove this for me and makes me a showman of the types I want to be.

I Write About
Religions

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Anavilism

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History

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Recent Articles
Showing posts with label death. Show all posts
Showing posts with label death. Show all posts

મૃત્યુનું મનોમંથન

ભારતમાં જન્મને શુભ અને મૃત્યુને અશુભ કહ્યું છે. હકીકતમાં જ્ન્મ-મૃત્યુ બન્ને એક સિક્કાની બે બાજુઓ છે જે બન્ને પરસ્પર જોડાયેલા છે. મૃત્યુની શરૂઆત જન્મથી થાય છે અને તેથી જ તો અનેક અનિશ્ચિત ચિતતાઓને કારણે વ્યક્તિ કોઈપણ ઉંમરે મૃત્યુ પામે છે.


ભારતમાં આઝાદી સમયે ૧૯૪૭માં જીવનની અપેક્ષા જન્મ સમયે ૩૭ વર્ષ હતી, તે આજે ૨૦૨૨ માં લગભગ ૭૦ વર્ષ છે (life expectancy at birth). તેમાંય પુરુષનું જીવનકાળ ૬૭.૪ વર્ષ અને સ્ત્રીનો જીવનકાળ ૭૦.૩ વર્ષ એટલેકે લગભગ ૩ વર્ષ ઓછો હોય છે. મરણના મુખ્ય દસ કારણોમાં હ્રદયરોગ ૨૫%, શ્વસનતંત્ર રોગ ૧૦%, ટી.બી. ૧૦%, કેન્સર ૧૦% છે. તો અનિર્ણિત માંદગી, પાચનતંત્રના રોગ, ઝાડા અને અકસ્માત દરેક પાંચ-પાંચ ટકા છે. અને આપઘાત અને મેલેરિયા ત્રણ-ત્રણ ટકા છે. એટલે કે ભારતમાં લગભગ સિત્તેર વર્ષના જીવન પછી હ્રદયરોગથી મરણ ની શક્યતા સૌથી વધુ છે. હા, અમારા દક્ષિણ ગુજરાતનાં અનાવિલ બ્રહ્માણ સમાજમાં મૃત્યુની ઉંમર ૮૪ વર્ષની આસપાસ છે!

કરુણતા પૂર્વક સ્વીકારવું રહ્યું કે વર્તમાન મેડિકલ વિજ્ઞાન ને કારણે પહેલાંની જેમ મૃત્યુની ઘડી જલ્દી આવતી નથી અને વૃદ્ધ માણસ બીમાર પડીને તરત મૃત્યુ પામતો નથી, પણ હોસ્પીટલમાં રિબાઈ રિબાઈને મારે છે.

કુદરતી ક્રમ મુજબ, જ્ન્મ, યુવાવસ્થા અને ઘડપણ આવે છે. ત્યાર પછી ઘડપણની દુર્બળતા અને મૃત્યુ નિશ્ચિત છે. આપણે મર્ત્ય છીએ, તો આપણે સમજવું રહ્યું કે વૃદ્ધત્વ નો કોઈ પણ ઈલાજ નથી. તેથી મૃત્યુથી ભાગી શકવાના નથી. તો ચાલો, મૃત્યુને સમજીએ, જાગીએ, તૈયાર થઈએ અને નક્કી કરીએ કે મૃત્યુને કઈ રીતે સ્વીકાર્ય અને બહેતર બનાવી શકાય. Being mortal is the truth.

વૃદ્ધત્વને કોઈ ઈલાજ નથી - ઘડપણમાં બહેરાશ આવે, દ્રષ્ટિ અને સૂંઘવાની શક્તિ ઘટે, કરચલી પડે, યાદશક્તિ-વિચાર શક્તિ ઘટે (Dementia), દાંત પડી જાય, સ્નાયુઓ પાતળા થાય કે સાંધાઓ સખત થાય જેવી ઘટનાઓ વહેલી-મોડી બને જ છે. અને છેલ્લે મૃત્યુ અવશ્યંભાવિ બને છે. Death can not be prevented. ત્યારે દરેક વ્યક્તિએ વૃદ્ધત્વની વિભાવના સમજી જાતે અંત સમયે કઈ રીતે વર્તવું તે સમજવાની જરૂર છે. હકીકતમાં ડૉક્ટરો પણ મરણાસન્ન વ્યક્તિને શું કહેવું કે કઈ રીતે કહેવું તે બાબતે સ્પષ્ટ નથી.

જીવનનો હવે કેટલો વખત બચ્યો છે? કે પછી હવે મરવાની કેટલી વાર છે? તે તદ્દન અનિશ્ચિત છે અને કોઈપણ કહી શકતું નથી.
વર્તમાન આધુનિક સમાજવ્યવસ્થામાં, મા-બાપ અને સંતાનો જુદા જુદા રહે છે – સાથે રહેતા નથી પણ બન્ને સ્વનિર્ભર છે અને સ્વતંત્ર છે અને બન્ને ને પરસ્પર જુદાઇ – એકલાપણું ફાવી ગયા હોય છે, ત્યારે કદાચ વૃદ્ધાવસ્થાની માંદગી જો સંતાન સાથે રહેવાની ફરજ પાડે તો, તે વૃદ્ધોની સ્વતંત્રતા અને મનપસંદ એકાકીપણાનો અનિવાર્યપણે ભોગ લે છે.
ડોક્ટરો અને હોસ્પિટલની સારવાર

મરણાસન્ન માંદગી (terminal illness)થી ગ્રસ્ત વૃદ્ધ વ્યક્તિની સારવાર હોસ્પિટલના વોર્ડમાં, ઘનિષ્ટ સારવાર કેન્દ્ર (ICU – intensive care unit) ખાતે કે ઘરે થઈ શકે છે.

હોસ્પીટલમાં દાખલ કરીને ઓપરેશન, રેડિઓથેરાપી કે કિમોથેરાપી જેવી રોગોને અનુલક્ષીને જરૂરી સારવાર કરી શકાય છે ત્યાર પછી, છેલ્લી સ્થિતિમાં (ICU) ઘનિષ્ટ સારવાર વિભાગમાં રાખી ઑક્સીજન, વેન્ટિલેટર કે ડીફિબ્રિલેટર જેવી વિવિધ સારવાર અપાતી હોય છે અને તે સિવાય દુખાવો દૂર કરી શકાય તેવા ઘરગથ્થું ઈલાજ સાથે ઘરે રાખી શકાય છે. આમ, 1) Hospitalk Nursing Home - હોસ્પિટલ, 2) ICU (ઘનિષ્ટ સારવાર વિભાગ) કે 3) ઘર વચ્ચે પસંદગી કરવાની હોય છે. છેલ્લા તબક્કામાં, સારવાર છતાં સારા થવાની શક્યતા ન હોય ત્યારે, ઘરે જ રહીને બચેલું જીવનના અંતિમ તબક્કામાં, સગાં સ્નેહી-મિત્રો સાથે રહે, પીડામુક્ત, માનસિક જાગૃતિ સાથે સામાજિક વાતાવરણ વચ્ચે રહી શકાય છે. ઘરે રાખવાના સાધનોમાં, પંપ (pain pump), નેબ્યુલાઈઝર (શ્વાસમાં લેવાની દવાયુક્ત સાધન), ઓક્સિજન અને દુખાવાનાશક દવાઓ (medicine box) છે. ઘરે ઈલેક્ટ્રિકલ બેડ રાખી ડૉક્ટર અને નર્સને જરૂરી સમયે બોલાવવાથી આવીને મદદરૂપ થાય (Doctor-on-call) એવી વ્યવસ્થા પણ કરી શકાય (Hospice pallaiative care). 

ડોક્ટરની ફરજ દર્દી માટે ત્રણ રીતે વહેંચી શકાય:
  1. વાલીપણું: ડોક્ટરને દર્દી માટે જે સારવાર યોગ્ય લાગી હોય તે દર્દી એ સ્વીકારવાની. વૃદ્ધ દર્દી નબળા હોય, ગરીબ હોય કે સ્વભાવે ડોકટરમાં વિશ્વાસ ધરાવતા હોય ત્યારે વાલીપણાનો સંબંધ ઝડપથી બંધાઈ જતો હોય છે. 
  2. માહિતી આપનાર: ટેકનિકલ એક્સપર્ટ તરીકે ડૉક્ટર બધું જ જણાવી દે છે. પછીથી દર્દીએ જાતે-પોતે સારવારનો નિર્ણય લેવાનો હોય છે. તમે ગ્રાહક છો, ડૉક્ટર સારવારને લગતી બધી શક્યતાઓ સમજાવી દે પછી વિગતો-વિકલ્પો જાણી સમજીને દર્દીએ પોતે નક્કી કરવાનું હોય છે. 
  3. માર્ગદર્શન: ડૉક્ટર અને દર્દી રોગ અને તેની સારવારની વિગતોની ચર્ચા કર્યા પછી ડૉક્ટર દર્દીને શું યોગ્ય રહેશે તે નક્કી કરવામાં મદદરૂપ થાય છે. આમ દર્દી અને નિષ્ણાત સહિયારો નિર્ણય લે છે. 
ડૉક્ટરો સારવાર ન કરાવવાથી થતી સ્થિતિ વિષે દર્દીને ભયભીત કરી મુક્તા હોય છે, પણ જે ખાસ જરૂરી છે તે સારવાર આગળ વધારવાથી આવનાર ભયાનક સ્થિતિનું ચિત્ર સ્પષ્ટપણે જણાવતા નથી.
ઓપરેશન, રેડીએશન કે કિમોથરપી જેવી સારવાર કરવાથી કે નહીં કરવાથી થતી તકલીફો-થનાર સ્થિતિની વિગતો દર્દીને વિગતવાર સમજાવવાની ખાસ જરૂર હોય છે. 

દર્દીને પોતાની સરવારને લગતી ઈચ્છાઓ (Break point discussion)
  1. હ્રદય અટકી જાય તો, કૃતિમ રીતે ચલાવવું કે નહીં? 
  2. અંતિમ સમયે, વેન્ટિલેટર + ઈન્ટયુબેશન (Ventilator + Intubation) કરાવવું કે નહીં? 
  3. ખાઈ ન શકો એવી સ્થિતિમાં નળી દ્વારા (Gastric tube) પોષણ લેશો કે નહીં? 
  4. જીવતા રહેવા માટે ક્યાં સુધી સારવાર લંબાવવી અને ક્યારે અટકવું તે અંગેના પોતાના નિર્ણયો શું છે? 
દરેક વૃદ્ધે આ બાબતે પોતાના નિર્ણયો નજીકના સ્નેહીઓને લેખિત અથવા મૌખિક વિગતવાર જણાવવા જોઈએ – જેથી તેને યોગ્ય ન્યાય આપી શકાય.

Death with dignity (Assisted suicide): ખાવાપીવાનું બંધ કરીને, કૃત્રિમ શ્વાસ ન લઈને અને નળીથી ખાવાનું ન લઈને માનપૂર્વકનું અકુદરતી મૃત્યુ લાવી શકાય છે.

સાધારણ રીતે, દરેક વ્યક્તિ મૃત્યુ ઘરમાં (at home), શાંતિથી અને સ્વજનો/મિત્રોના સમૂહ વચ્ચે ઈચ્છતો હોય છે. અંત સમયે, લાગતા-વળગતાઓને Good bye, I love you, I am sorry, Thank you, ફરી મળીશું, હું તમને પ્રેમ કરું છું, મને માફ કરશો કે ધન્યવાદ જેવા વચનો કહેવા માંગતો હોય છે.

અંત સમયે, વ્યક્તિ દયામણા થયા વિના નિર્ભયતાથી, શાંતિપૂર્વક, ઈશ્વરની પ્રાર્થના કરતાં કરતાં, શ્રદ્ધાપૂર્વક વિદાય થવા માંગતો હોય ત્યારે વ્યક્તિને (હોસ્પિટલને બદલે) ઘરે શા માટે ન રાખી શકાય?
વિલુપ્ત થવાની ભૂમિકા (dying role) સમયે, મરણાસન્ન લોકો ગરિમાભેર, આનંદથી, પોતાનો અંત સંપૂર્ણ સંતોષપૂર્વક લાવે તે બાબતે આપણે મદદરૂપ થઈશું કે પછી ત્રાસદાયક વેન્ટિલેટર માં ગોંધી – કરૂણ મોતને હવાલે જ કરીશું?

મારું વસિયતનામું

માંદગીમાં સારવાર અને મરણ વખતની ક્રિયાઓને લાગતું વસિયતનામું 

મારી સાંઠ વર્ષની ઉંમરે મે મારી આત્મકથા લખેલી તેમાં મારી માંદગીની સારવાર અને મૃત્યુ પછીની વિધિઓ મારા પત્ની અને બાળકો જેમ કરશે તે મને મંજુર રહેશે-એવું વિધાન મે કર્યું હતું. હા, તે વાત હું હજીપણ એમની એમ જ સ્વીકારું જ છું પરંતુ, હવે દસ વર્ષ પછીના મારા વિચારોનો ખ્યાલ આવે એટલા પૂરતું આ પત્ર લખું છું. 

મારી શારીરિક તકલીફોનો ઈલાજ કઈ રીતે કરાવવું તે બાબતે કમસેકમ મારા પોતાને લગતા કેટલાક ખ્યાલો મે નક્કી કર્યા છે, તેનું વિગતવાર વર્ણન હું કરીશ.


જો બેભાન ન હોઉ અથવા કહો કે માનસિક રીતે નિર્ણયશક્તિ ગુમાવી ન ચુક્યો હોઉ તો, મારી ઉંમરને લગતી કોઈપણ માંદગીની કેવી-કેટલી અને ક્યાં સારવાર કરાવવી તેનો નિર્ણય હું લઈશ. પણ હું બોલીને કે બીજીરીતે કહી ન શકું એમ બને તો માર્ગદર્શક બને એ રીતે સારવારની વાતો કહીશ. 

My 2018 Accounts (On Life)

Over time, I have learnt and practised being accountable and better-organised in day to day life. That makes me disciplined and presentable with honour – any time and every time. I maintain day to day diary for the last seven years recording all the events and emotions. Reading the contents of the 2018 year diary inspired me to write the statement of account presenting activities of 365 days of the year.

Daily Routine
  • I consider my day starting at night, 9.30 PM, when I go to bed. I get up around 2:00 to 3:00 AM. That’s when I do my reading and writing work until I fall asleep again. That gives me more than 2 to 3 hours of study every night.
  • I do clinical practice as an ophthalmologist between 9.30 AM to 1:00 PM in the morning and 4.30 to 7:00 PM in the evening. Yes, after lunch, between 1.30 to 4:00 PM there is a compulsory sleep, the classic after siesta, for about two hours.
  • Morning hours, between 7:00 to 9.30 AM are “no work” time, spent in getting ready, reading newspapers and having tea-breakfast. How much time should one give for newspapers, I often wonder.
  • I spend 7:00 to 9:30 PM in front of the television – watching entertainment serials and news.

Reading and Writing
  • My only hobby – I can boast of – is reading and writing. I keep on reading the books, make short notes and then present the book-review as an article on my blog. Learning to Say No, India Vs Pakistan – Why Are We Not Friends, Morarji Desai, History of Jammu and Kashmir, Lord Shiva, Parvati, Karthikey and Ganapati, are some of the well-received book reviews.
  • I do study and analysis by myself to publish research results - Status of Senior Citizens and Accidental Marriage of a Daughter are such presentations.
  • I have written tour diary following a visit to Kankaria Festival, Ahmedabad and visit to the Taj Mahal, Agra.
  • I was felicitated as an achiever at Centenary Celebration of my high school, D.C.O., Killa Pardi – the article following that event describes my high school life 50 years back.
  • I have written 215 articles so far and my son Rahul presented them with pictures at “blog.drbharatdesai.com.” More than 300,000 visitors all over the world have read them and a few of them sent responses. One of my readers, Nirali Desai from Ahmedabad, was inspired to prepare an illustrative work on Anavils, after reading my blog article on the subject. This year 15 such articles were published.
  • In addition to being a life patron at J. B. Petit Library, Bilimora and Sayaji Vaibhav Library, Navsari, I have my own treasure of books. When I decide to buy a book, my son Rahul orders it online and purchases the said book.
  • During 2018, I have read and re-read books on Mahabharat, Bhagavad-Gita and Ramayana. I have prepared a summary of them to be published for eager readers.
The Book I Like (ભારત વિ. પાકિસ્તાન: આપણે મિત્રો કેમ નથી?)
  • Guzder Library, Gandevi team comprising of Prin. Ashvinbhai Patel, President Thakorbhai Naik, Secretary Jayantibhai Mistry and Vice President Jyotiben Desai have been organizing lectures on the book-review every month on second Saturday at 4.30 PM for the last 52 months. I have joined them for more than two years by now. Dr Pravinbhai Gilitwala, Dr Naliniben Gilitwala, Piyushbhai Dharaiya and I have formed a four-person team. We attended six meetings last year. The orator speaks on one book for about an hour and later there is discussion. I enjoy these events. I write my feedback to them. This has given me friends like Jay Vashi, Dipak Desai, Chhayaben, Jasubhai Naik and Hetalben. The 50th episode of this series was unique - Desai Musical Orchestra presented their book review with film songs.
Jalnagarians
  • The residential society we stay at is 30+ years old and nearly 70 families have been staying from the beginning. We meet nine nights during Navratri and Dussehra is celebrated with dinner of the 150-170 residents, more than 70 participate regularly. This year also we had 10 days gathering at early night with Ras-Garba. We come to learn more and more about one another every year.
  • In the North-West corner of Jalnagar Society, 11 eleven houses and ~40 residents have made a unique family, meeting regularly on our terrace. Either we eat Khichdi-Kadhi, Ubadiya-Jalebi, Ragada-Patties, Pav-Bhaji or anything like that prepared by ourselves. Ketan-Kamal and Mehul are the key members volunteering their services and managing the whole show.
  • This year, three of our members passed away and we were together with their family all throughout, till the last rites are performed. While making them feel comfortable and eat, we eat together and stay with them - a rarely seen togetherness is seen here.
  • We celebrated 90th birthday of Sharda-Ba on 27-Jul-2018. Our family also gathered to say good-bye to Shiv Vashi going to Canada for higher education. We blessed him on 03-Aug-2018.
Medical Meetings
  • I have attended a dozen of clinical meetings organized by Indian Medical Association (IMA) Bilimora. During such meetings, I get the fellowship of the friends around and increase in the general medical knowledge. I just do not go for the dinner offered. We also have the South Gujarat Ophthalmic Association and Valsad Area Eye Surgeon Group. I had four-to-five occasions to attend them.
Senior Citizens’ Club
  • Being of 60+ age, I have joined Bilimora Senior Citizens’ Club and was selected as Vice President. I take an active part in their deliberations. I have organised lectures of Sureshbhai Desai, Navsari on old-age and Dr Radha Mehta, Navsari on psychological problems of old-age. I have attended six general meetings and seven board meetings.
  • I have been active in South Gujarat Senior Citizen Society too. I attended their quarterly meeting at Navsari with Dr Bhavana. I was the key person in holding their Bilimora meeting.
  • Old-age people behave differently compared to young-age and children. I find a nice time with new friends.
Movies
  • Dr Bhavana and I have watched 21 movies in the cinema house this year! It felt like having seen one movie a week, but I was wrong.
  • We have a group of nine people, Dr Gilitwala couple, Dr Vijaybhai Desai couple, Anilbhai Desai couple and we two making eight with Prof Minu Desai, the ninth. Dr Bhavana usually contacts all of them and I bring tickets from advance booking.
  • Bilimora has only one cinema house (multiplex) and two screens showing two movies simultaneously. The audience is a big problem. Many times, even 10 patrons do not come and the show has to be cancelled. We do not face this problem nowadays because of our own group.
  • We saw many Gujarati movies as well this year, including Chal Man Jitva Jayaye, Chitkar, Reva, Shu Thayu, Swayamwar and Sharat Lagu. Nowadays they are comparable or even better than Hindi ones. On Bhavana’s birthday, we invited 14 people to see Sharato Lagu Gujarati movie and it was a great, unusual birthday celebration.
  • Every movie we go for many not be good! Actually, the pleasure and enjoyment gained during the movie depend on one’s own mood and company. I take the liberty to sleep off and on during the movie. All in all, this is one of our important pass-time activities.
Events

I find happiness in planning an event and executing it as a key person or maybe the only person.
  1. Lecture from Dr Pradip Patel, Spandan, Chikhli at Vansada on diabetes with free diabetes check-up was the first event. Lions Club Bilimora Yugma and President Ln. Shankarbhai Patel decided for this and the lecture was organized on 07-Jan-2018.
  2. Lunch Event at Old-age Home, Gandevi: on 03-Apr-2018 we organised a lunch at old-age home with gifting each resident a set of bed sheets, pillow cover and blanket, a donation on the demise of mother-in-law Dr Indumati K Desai. My wife Bhavana, her sister Sandhyaben and elder brother Rohitbhai arranged this. About 60 people including the family members, old-age home residents and friends were present.
  3. Eye Camp in Jun-2018: Dr Darshana Naik and I organised an eye camp for three days on 15, 16 and 17-Jun-2018. The patients were examined at my hospital in the morning and Jyoti Care in the evening. The income was saved for social activity.
  4. Orphanage Event on 17-Aug-2018: The principal of the orphanage informed us that the students were not interested in the study. So, to motivate them, we arranged a lecture – dialogue with Jay Vashi. As per the students’ wish, we arranged to serve pizza for dinner. The orphan children, ladies there, staff and Lions Club members made a total of 100 to enjoy the event with. Prerana Group of Chikhli with Dr Sharad Patel, Jayesh Desai and Dharmesh Kapadia helped there. We gifted a Spherehot geyser (Rs. 16000) for the use of the people at the orphanage. Dr Darshana and I contributed for the dinner.
  5. Aspee Kanya Vidyalaya, Antalia: A) Lecture from Dr Ami Yagnik, Surat on ‘Reusable Sanitary Pads and Female Genital Trac’ (on 20-Sep-2018). B) Lecture from Dr Ami Yagnik, Surat on ‘Basic Life Support and Life Skills’. Above two events gave very useful information to nearly 1200 girls on their genital functions and how to help during person-in-emergency. Our friend, Campus Director Prin. Jayshree Desai was ready to help. C) Story Telling competition on 06-Dec-2018.
  6. No to Crackers Movement on 03-Nov-2018: I wanted to do some social work and ‘noise pollution due to firecrackers during Diwali’ was the project. I prepared a leaflet to be placed in the newspapers, an information chart in the news handbills and advertised this information via Facebook and WhatsApp.
Second Life
  • I had faced a major car accident on 06-Apr-2018 at Kailas Road, Valsad. I was alone in the car and the accident caused the car to turn upside down with breaking of glasses and complete damage of the car-body including the roof. The damage was so bad that the entire body had to be replaced and the car had to be practically rebuilt. I had no injury whatsoever, because of the seatbelt I had applied. Anything could have happened, but then I believe ‘God is Great’! I had faced a similar accident in 1999 at Bharuch Golden Bridge, so is it a second life or third? I wonder.
Weddings and Yagnopavit
  • During this year, of all the invitations I received, we could attend fourteen events,
  • Yagnopavit of Devansh (my nephew Deval’s son) at Abrama, Jash (Biren’s son) at Maganwadi, Kadodara and grandson of Prin. Kishor Desai at Anavil Wadi, Gandevi were enjoyable. The wedding celebration of Ronak Ajaybhai also made a great memory to cherish.
  • Every event costs a lot of money and hard work – any debate about their worthlessness are only academic! People go on organizing them and others do not miss to enjoy them.
  • Eating too much is out of the question, but I do enjoy a variety of nice foods. DJ and high-volume orchestra are torturous, but we do see good ones also.
  • Eight birthday celebrations we attended also have the same tale. I do not like cake cutting and playing with cream-paste, but that is my problem.
Death and Condolence
  • 2018 was a year causing the death of six closed ones. The started with the sudden demise of our neighbour Rameshbhai Raval on 18-Jan-2018, later Harendramama passed away on 15-Jul-2018 to be followed by Tarunimami’s death on 13-Sep-2018. Sharda-ba and Mukeshbhai passed away on 05-Sep-2018 and 22-Oct-2018 respectively. Two deaths in the same house in a short period made us feel sorry. Our relative Janak Balvantrai Naik, Kachholi passed away on 06-Aug-2018 of heart problem. We mourned their departure for thirteen days and thereafter we are feeling their absence and loss.
  • I skip attending death funerals, condolence meetings and other rituals of not so close relatives and friends.
Tours and Travel
  • 01-Jan-2018 (Ahmedabad): The year began with a surprise visit to Ahmedabad because our friend Anilbhai Desai repeatedly invited (insisted) us to visit Ahmedabad for Kankaria Festival. The two-day tour had pleasant hospitality by Darshan-Shalu and we had a great time with them. We visited Kankaria Festival and Flower Show at Sabarmati River Front.
  • 22-Feb-2018 (Five days Agra Mathura Tour): Alliance Club International had installation ceremony at Agra. Seven members from Bilimora attended this event. Bhavana wanted to experience the journey by Rajdhani Train travel. She wanted to experience water, tea, breakfast, dinner and ice cream served. Earlier, it used to be offered to all. Nowadays you have to pay extra for this facility. We visited Fatehpur Sikri’s 174 ft. high “Buland Darvaja” – fort and palace inside, then we saw the Taj Mahal - the wonder of the world and lastly, we visited Mathura Temple with Gokul and Vrindavan. We stayed at Clarks Shiraz, one of the most premium and luxury hotels in Agra.
  • 07-Apr-2018 (Poicha - Rajpipla Tour): 17 tourists, mostly senior citizens, excluding Nidhi and Aarna visited Poicha for a night stay. There is a big temple on the riverbank of Narmada. We saw a big garden with multiple presentations of Ramayana – Mahabharat, a big statue of Lord Krishna, Mirror Museum and what not. There is a big temple, Kuber Bhandari, 100+ steps high on the other side of the river Narmada. Many visit this templet every last day of the Hindu calendar month to be rich! We did see Rajpipla with temple and palaces.
  • 18 to 22-Sep-2018 (Goa): Bhavana and six ladies went to Goa for the four-day ladies-only tour.
  • Pune – Mumbai: Our permanent tourist destinations are Pune and Mumbai because RahulShivani and Vaishali stay there.

All said and done, how do I see the year 2018?
Of 365 days I had, I have done enough clinical practice, reading and writing plus socialising in weddings, birthdays and tours. I want to plan the year that follows in a way, I can do more clinical social services.
I am happy the year passed gave me multiple occasions to do the activity that pleases me or, let us say, makes me happy - be it a tour, attending any event or a meeting.
I know, I am what I am because of my wife Dr Bhavana, family members Vaishali, Rahul and Shivani, friends around and last but not the least Jalnagarians!

When A Mother's Gone

My random thoughts on demise of a mother. What do I understand while pronouncing “mother”?

I do not need to go far away. I just see so many mothers around, to name a few, I shall say:
                Dr Bhavana Desai (My wife)
                Dr Amita Desai
                Dr Shefali Naik
                Mina Vijay Desai

Are You Eligible To Demand Death?

Before demanding death, have you received the "No Objection Certificate" from your children?

At a certain age, a person gets tired of one's life and starts waiting for death. During the lifetime he has passed, it is quite possible he/she had a great career, so-called success and enough earning. But a sense of frustration, unhappiness and dissatisfaction prevails leading to depression demanding the end of the life - death.

Void After My Father's Departure

One year back, I was writing about myself in an article Death at 60. I wrote there I was ready to die at any time, but given a choice, I would like to wait until my father was alive. My purpose for this demand of concession was my desire to support my father morally and physically in his old age. Well, he did not agree to this and went away forever on his own. So, I can loudly pronounce now “I am ready to die!”

However, I have yet to learn how to react to someone when I disagree with and/or my ideas differ in total from the concerned person. At present, in such situations, I keep myself away and withdraw myself. It can be labelled as escapism. But coming to consensus or agreement is not always easy. Due to the generation gap or a conservative approach of parents, the difference of opinion is bound to be there. Here, both parties should take care of maintaining the dignity of the other. The ideal option is to ignore the nature of the parents and forgive them immediately.

At The End Of The Day...



I have used the word 'day' to tell about LIFE here.
  • What is the balance-sheet of a life made of?
  • Is it the sum total of years one lived, health, wealth one gathered or positions one held?
  • Who will then certify the statement? Oneself, crowd present in the funeral or the friends at the time of condolence meeting?
I am confused.

Obituaries In Newspaper

An obituary is a note published in the newspaper about someone's death. A big number of people read that first, and many times only read that much.

They are often happy knowing that their equal-aged person is dead and oneself is not dead... alive!

Some of them would want to relive the past with the dead person and again be satisfied thinking: S/he is no more, but I being a greater one, is still alive!

The pleasure is present in the death of others without any sorrow/sadness of the event. What a tragedy!

Death on Desire

Death on desire is also known as “Mercy killing” and ‘Euthanasia’.

In Greek language, Eu means good and thanatos means death… Euthanasia meaning good death.

It is ending the life when one does not want to live. It is also known as ‘death without suffering’.

Death, at 60

Continued from the series I, at 60; Relations, at 60; Money, at 60 and Medical Practice, at 60


Am I ready to die? The answer is yes and no. If given choice, I don’t want to die before my father. If so is allowed, I want to be with him serving till his last breath and yes, then I am ready.

Actually, I had sorted out my wishes during my terminal illness where I am unconscious regarding 1. Organ donation, body donation and eye donation, 2. Treatment schedule especially telling when they should be stopped, 3. Protocols to be followed at the time of death and 4. Formalities not to be observed after my death and enlisted them. But then I suddenly realized the futileness of such exercise and accordingly, I have omitted all as a mark of respect to my concerned ones.

Condolence

A few days ago, my mother (84) passed away of old age. I had an experience of being in a state of sorrow due to her demise. The article is an outcome of experiences following the incidence. I did realize the need and importance of true consolation to the grieved person. So I thought it is prudent to write from the heart words giving guidance.


Condolence: It is expressing sympathy to a misfortune or bereavement (one deprived of relative because of death).
Consolation: To give comfort or sympathy to an unhappy person.

On the death of a close relative, a sudden gap is created due to the absence of that relative. Even the mentally strong person understanding every aspect of the event becomes shocked for a while. Here is the need of true consolation known as 'condolence.'

Zeroing

Life begins with 100 and ends with 0 (zero). The death is the process of zeroing oneself physically (no body), intellectually (no brain, intelligence or thought process) and materialistically (you are owner of nothing). Death is a slow process progressing gradually. The Vedas tell us: up to 50 yrs full social life, 50 to 75 yrs live with family semi attached, and after 75 yrs go for Sannyasa (renunciation).

Can we start zeroing?

Suicide - When and Why?

To start with, some facts about Suicide (in India):

Causes:

1. Poverty
2. Alcoholism
3. An anguished man
4. A misfortune
5. Failure in exam
6. Family Feud
7. Depression
8. Unemployment
9. Dowry

Contact Me

Address

Desai Eye Hospital, 1 - Hiren Apt, Bilimora 396 380 India

Phone number

(+91) 2634 284620 / 21

Website

www.drbharatdesai.com