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When A Mother's Gone

My random thoughts on demise of a mother. What do I understand while pronouncing “mother”?
I do not need to go far away. I just see so many mothers around, to name a few, I shall say:                 Dr Bhavana Desai (My wife)                 Dr Amita Desai                 Dr Shefali Naik                 Mina Vijay Desai

Are You Eligible To Demand Death?

Before demanding death, have you received the "No Objection Certificate" from your children?

At a certain age, a person gets tired of one's life and starts waiting for death. During the lifetime he has passed, it is quite possible he/she had a great career, so-called success and enough earning. But a sense of frustration, unhappiness and dissatisfaction prevails leading to depression demanding the end of the life - death.

Void After My Father's Departure

One year back, I was writing about myself in an article Death at 60. I wrote there I was ready to die at any time, but given a choice, I would like to wait until my father was alive. My purpose for this demand of concession was my desire to support my father morally and physically in his old age. Well, he did not agree to this and went away forever on his own. So, I can loudly pronounce now “I am ready to die!”

However, I have yet to learn how to react to someone when I disagree with and/or my ideas differ in total from the concerned person. At present, in such situations, I keep myself away and withdraw myself. It can be labelled as escapism. But coming to consensus or agreement is not always easy. Due to the generation gap or a conservative approach of parents, the difference of opinion is bound to be there. Here, both parties should take care of maintaining the dignity of the other. The ideal option is to ignore the nature of the parents and forgive them immediately.

At The End Of The Day...

I have used the word 'day' to tell about LIFE here.
What is the balance-sheet of a life made of?Is it the sum total of years one lived, health, wealth one gathered or positions one held?Who will then certify the statement? Oneself, crowd present in the funeral or the friends at the time of condolence meeting? I am confused.

Obituary

It is a note in the newspaper about someone's death. A big number of people read that first and many times read only that much.

They are often happy knowing that their equal aged person is dead and oneself is not dead... alive!

Some of them would want to relive the past with the dead person and again be satisfied thinking: S/he is no more, but I being a greater one, is still alive!

The pleasure is present in death of others without sorrow/sadness of the event. What a tragedy!

Death on Desire

Death on desire is also known as “Mercy killing” and ‘Euthanasia’.

In Greek language, Eu means good and thanatos means death… Euthanasia meaning good death.

It is ending the life when one does not want to live. It is also known as ‘death without suffering’.

Death, at 60

Earlier in this series: I, at 60; Relations, at 60; Money, at 60; Medical Practice, at 60

Am I ready to die? Answer is yes and no. If given choice, I don’t want to die before my father. If so is allowed, I want to be with him serving till his last breadth and yes, then I am ready.

Actually, I had sorted out my wishes during my terminal illness where I am unconscious regarding 1. Organ donation, body donation and eye donation, 2. Treatment schedule especially telling when they should be stopped, 3. Protocols to be followed at the time of death and 4. Formalities not to be observed after my death and enlisted them. But then I suddenly realized the futileness of such exercise and accordingly, I have omitted all as a mark of respect to my concerned ones.

Condolence

A few days ago, my mother (84) passed away of old age. I had an experience of being in a state of sorrow due to her demise. The article is an outcome of experiences following the incidence. I did realize the need and importance of true consolation to the grieved person. So I thought it is prudent to write from the heart words giving guidance.


Condolence: It is expressing sympathy to a misfortune or bereavement (one deprived of relative because of death).
Consolation: To give comfort or sympathy to an unhappy person.

On the death of a close relative, a sudden gap is created due to the absence of that relative. Even the mentally strong person understanding every aspect of the event becomes shocked for a while. Here is the need of true consolation known as 'condolence.'

Zeroing

Life begins with 100 and ends with 0 (zero). The death is the process of zeroing oneself physically (no body), intellectually (no brain, intelligence or thought process) and materialistically (you are owner of nothing). Death is a slow process progressing gradually. The Vedas tell us: up to 50 yrs full social life, 50 to 75 yrs live with family semi attached, and after 75 yrs go for Sannyasa (renunciation).

Can we start zeroing?

Suicide - When and Why?

To start with, some facts about Suicide (in India):

Causes:

1. Poverty
2. Alcoholism
3. An anguished man
4. A misfortune
5. Failure in exam
6. Family Feud
7. Depression
8. Unemployment
9. Dowry