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When A Friendship/Relationship Breaks

Present day thinking leads to breaking a relation on many occasions. It is undesirable but still natural. Don't get panicked about it; relax and think over the following:

Family, Friends And You

Your Relations/Friends and You!

Every relation has three possible situations:

Relation with both Love and RespectRelation, but neither Love nor Respect Relation with either of the two: Love Or Respect
Now whatever one of the above three you find about any given relationship/friendship, the ideal is to respond all with love and respect in total.

Just try...

The Frozen Friendships

Friends and friendships in a freeze:

If you did not have any meeting, letter-exchange, SMS or phone conversation in the last 365 days (one full year) with your friend, it means you are not considering any need to do so.

I consider such relations 'frozen' and reopening them may not be that simple for such a taken-for-granted relation.


Distant Relatives

Everyone knows and understands the difference between the close-ones and the distant. But nobody would love to hear oneself being introduced as a distant relative and at the said introduction of the 'distant' relative, one feels insulted.

So better avoid the word 'distant' while introducing anyone.


"Because" In Relations

"Because" in relations...

Because you did not attend my wedding, I will not attend yours.Because you did not attend my parents' funeral, I will not attend your parents' funeral.Because you did not give loan when I needed, I won't either.Because you did not invite me in your celebration, I too will not.Because,...Because,.....
This accounting and reciprocating equally and accordingly is neither friendship nor family relationship.

Whom To Praise?

Whom to praise? My medical college hostel-partner for six years (1969-1975) and co-student of M.B.B.S. study, Dr. Chhotubhai S Patel passed away at the age of 62.

In spite of vehicle, telephone, mobile and other modes of connectivity, I visited his home only twice in the last 35 years and the third visit was after his demise. This is the real life story of two friends staying barely 30 km away. My friend was straight forward, kind and had all the characters of a good friend. My son Rahul and my daughter Vaishali can tell me just the opposite story of their connectivity with their friends and frequency of meeting their friends.

Then who is to be praised? The older or the modern generation..??

Breaking The Chain Of Relations

Break verb.
InterruptTo stop doing something for a whileDestroyEnd of relationChainnoun.
Connection by links or ringsSeries of connected things e.g. hotels, shopsContinuous connection due to attachmentsRelationnoun.
Way in which one person is connected/associated with anotherContacts or link between people, groups or countriesAttachment between two because of birth, marriage or contact

Balancing Relations

Balancing two sides of relations:
A son/daughter: Parents and offspringsA married woman: Parents and parents-in-lawsA married son: Wife and parents When you are any of the above, you are an in-between person. You have to be tricky, cautious and careful person in handling either side maintaining your own views or you will be in trouble. You need not be judging any, but you have to be neutral and caring both.

Visiting The Friends/Family: When And How?

Why and how should we visit our close relatives/friends? Close relatives are the best God-gift,. I would first like to talk about who they are, to start this article. They are:
ParentsSon/daughterBrother/sisterAbove relatives-in-law andClose friends

Ideal Wedding Gift

What is the ideal amount to be given with 'blessings' at the time of someone's wedding? 101.. 151.. 251... 501 or more?




No amount is OK... Ideal is zero!

Your relationship is priceless... no need of being pseudo-formal.




Resolving Conflicts

I said:

If you want to tell something to your close ones – son/ daughter/ parents/ parents-in-law/ brother-sister-in-law/ sons-daughters-in-law – regarding some misunderstanding, problem, disagreement, expectation, etc., tell the concerned one directly instead of telling others.

Because -
Telling others will complicate the issue rather than solving it.The other person will add her/his own material to the story and then tell. Your story may be changed in total.The other person may enjoy your situation in place of sympathizing you!If you tell your emotions directly to the concerned one, it may solve the issue.Telling the close person directly will make a great difference.

Parents And Children On Facebook

Parents and Children on Facebook:

If all the concerned are transparent and so open to have any dialogue, if each can talk freely without fear or hesitation, 'friendship on Facebook' is not a problem.

Well, all have to be frank and open is a pre-condition or better be away from here, as otherwise also they are!


Relationship, at 60.

Continued from: I, at 60

Before starting this story, I must admit, I have been accompanied by a brother before birth till today - a pair of twins. We are hardly comparable in any way or let me say, we are totally different in nature, look and attitude - we are always available to each-other.

I had parents to guide me till 60, of whom I lost my mother a month back. My father is always available with his view point to guide me in need on any issue with clarity of thought and without forcing to follow the same. I understand it as great luxury many do not have.

A Lifeline In Real Life

Lifeline: In Kaun Banega Crorepati (KBC), a TV game show, they say one shouldn't delay decision of using a lifeline when in confusion or state of uncertainty. Or else, you may lose lots of money, or possible all your money. Similarly in real life, in the state of confusion, frustration or uncertainty, don't hesitate in using available lifeline (here, a lifeline may mean parents, close relatives, friends) immediately or you will end up with troubles having no way out.

- Dr. Shashikant Shah


Condolence

A few days ago, my mother (84) passed away of old age. I had an experience of being in a state of sorrow due to her demise. The article is an outcome of experiences following the incidence. I did realize the need and importance of true consolation to the grieved person. So I thought it is prudent to write from the heart words giving guidance.


Condolence: It is expressing sympathy to a misfortune or bereavement (one deprived of relative because of death).
Consolation: To give comfort or sympathy to an unhappy person.

On the death of a close relative, a sudden gap is created due to the absence of that relative. Even the mentally strong person understanding every aspect of the event becomes shocked for a while. Here is the need of true consolation known as 'condolence.'

Distance Phobia

When someone close is away beyond easily approachable distance, person concerned is anxious and worried for no reason about well-being of person.

The only way out is Acceptance.






Image Source: beeimgs.com

Accounts In Relations

The day you start counting what you have done for your friend/relative, the relationship is either over or about to die. The base of any relation is moral/psychological support, physical work and financial/materialistic help. It has to be endless and beyond counts. Once you start falling short of this, you go finding all such things and expecting reward or reciprocation.

Well, that is the end of relation.

Mind Your Mind

Mind your mind! Or you may need a psychiatrist at the earliest.

If you cannot love and respect any one of the following (whatever their nature, economical or intellectual level may be) - Parents, Parents-in law, Son/Daughter or Son/Daughter-in-law, consider checking your own thought-cycle and revise it. Or else, you may be nowhere.

You may lose your most important life support following your own method.


Phasing Communication In Relations

When you start receiving the following...
No new messages or emails No mobile calls to disturb you round the day Phones and letters are left only for death news ...don't bother much about them. Start understanding the limit of relationships and be on-guard, instead of disturbing concerned the persons.