On Father’s Day

February 21, 2018 , , 2 Comments

Parents are important. Because we take birth because of them. They get married (usually)and decide to become parents. They stop anti-pregnancy drugs-contraceptives, they start loving(!) each other and have a physical relationship or sometimes even tolerate the torture of IVF and the end result is the birth of a child - YOU! So, in a time of very late marriages, delayed parenthood and zero-to-one child, to take birth is no accident. The point being, the parents are important and the children should be grateful to them.

Father is a struggler. Father and mother are equally important, but the mother is more attached because she takes more physical and psychological care of a child. She tolerates all the unexpected and undesirable insults and forgets soon to love the child and adjusts again for a better life. Well, this may not be applied to the father. He is neither superior nor greater to the mother, but he is altogether different. He is a struggler - he wants to do the best for the child. This makes him work hard to earn more and remain away from home and so the children. This desire makes him spend less on himself - he often manages with cheaper clothes, shoes, watches, mobiles, vehicles and whatnot. He wants to spare the money for his offspring, to offer “the best” to his child. And so, he is a miser when it comes to himself. He wants to save for the education, marriage and later life of his offspring. This aspect of a father is either ignored or not noticed to the extent it should be. And father may be considered indifferent, less caring or less emotionally attached. As a matter of fact, the truth is the opposite.

Father is never understood in their lifetime. My father lost his parents at the age of one year, he survived poverty and became a government official. After his marriage, he had six children, a dependent uncle and a sister. A family of 10 with a low salary and honest, disciplined life. Yes, he struggled successfully, but none of the six children understood him. We - all of us, feel sorry for the poor appreciation of his struggle, because, he could never explain or display his love. In the desire to build us to be the best and in the process of strict discipline and whatnot, all he could show was anger. Well, my father was difficult to understand during his lifetime. So, be aware, let this not be repeated with any of you.

How do we treat our parents? The role of parents in our life is poorly understood, because, we get everything we desire easily. They are always available and accessible, they are there round the clock to be with you, to help you and support you.

Parents can be treated rudely because they are always ready to forgive and forget. If not treated rudely, at least they are poorly appreciated for whatever they have done and are still doing. Parents are actually the assets nature has given to you, who treat you with respect and love irrespective of your intelligence, income and reciprocation.

The best is to use this available help, tell your problem, tell your issues causing trouble, express your concern about your own matters disturbing you and you will get the solution.

Father is a son first, then the father. Son is a son forever, whether he becomes a father or not. Now heredity, genetics and biology demand his son to be more intelligent, smarter, say more active to understand than his own father. The word “more” here is a generation gap. To minimize this so-called gap, the father should try to come to the level of his son or accept the son as he is with respect.

20-Jun-2021 Update:

Let me add a few new thoughts on the subject:

(1) Father is a must. Father is the need of the children. Let me tell you why. I have innumerable examples of my close relatives and friends whom I have seen not developing to the mark just because the father is absent. The absence of fathers has made them dull, backwards in life and sometimes criminals! I have seen offspring making great progress even if the father is not so clever but he is just there. I mean just the absence of a father makes a great issue. So mere presence of the father itself is a great stimulant. The father may or may not be extraordinarily intelligent, rich, having a high social position or status. Mere live presence makes a great difference. In that case, the father should never think to die an unnatural death at any time.

(2) Father is an example to follow. Father is a torchbearer, a guide and a teacher. He does these things without giving any advice, lecture or verbal guidance. Mere living a life of high moral values, character, development and intelligence is enough because present-day intelligent children with open eyes and minds observe everything around and copy that without even asking you. So the father's way of living should set an example to follow. If you make a positive impression of yourself the result will be so or otherwise, a negative result will be very difficult to accept.

Happy Father's Day to all!

An ophthalmologist by qualification and profession, Dr. Bharatchandra Desai loves reading about history, religion, and spirituality. He has written about them and also about 'Anavils' at length. Read all articles. ડૉ. ભરતચંદ્ર દેસાઈના ગુજરાતી લેખો વાંચવા અહીં ક્લિક કરો.


  1. Detailed and lucid presentation of the topic
    The mother cares the child in the womb and father in the mind.
    With changing time,now the "the power couple"has come into existence.But,the increasing cost of livlihood,education has neutralised the benefit of two people earning."one couple one child" concept is good for making life bit easier.but,it has its own issues.Father has a dominant role to play .That is why in a male dominant society ,father has a "say" in every matter.child is given a name that follows father's name.Though nowadays,some people replaces by mother's name.like sanjay Leela Bhansali.If father is given such an importance,he should be neutral in his behaviour to all his children.Father should prepare a " will" beorehand.

    1. Thank you Ashwinbhai for reading the article and describing your views on the subject.
      I agree with the most of them.
      It is pleasing to see you telling the thoughts as original as they should be.


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