Before Saying "Yes" For Marriage

Typically marriages are decided by one of these two methods in our society:

1. Arranged Marriage: Socially accepted and practised method where ‘offer’ for marriage is given by appropriate party and then, marriage is finalized on the basis of match-making.
2. Love Marriage: Recently established way of selecting marriage partner after some contact, friendship and/or attraction because of looks. Here prospective partners for marriage decide themselves marry with or without consent from parents and families.

Well, either way, the final decision of marriage is made after checking the possibility of matching with each other on the basis of social, academic, financial and/or physical appearance.

The new addition of ‘matching horoscopes’ has appeared on the scene recently. Marriage proposals are refused on the so-called matching of the horoscope is not there.

What is hardly considered and ignored in total is the ‘Pre-marital detailed medical check-up’ of both of the partners. This article is to bring to notice the importance of issue(s) of health for the success of any marriage.

I will give three real-life examples to explain my point.

1. A female partner having serious Heart Disease at the time of and before marriage did not inform anyone about this. So the to-be-married happy groom was unaware of it. To his shock and surprise, the wife died on the day of marriage.
2. A female partner was having Epilepsy - well controlled with medicines, but she omitted to let anyone know and stopped medicines too. She wanted to hide the disease because of its social taboo. She had an epileptic fit – convulsions – on the very night of marriage and the end result was none other than divorce. A similar story can be said about Leucoderma – a white patch on the body.
3. Male partner was having AIDS before marriage. He passed this to his wife who died within five years of marriage and husband died five more years after that.

So many examples can be cited here, but those few are just to introduce the subject, explain the seriousness of the issue and make you aware of the subject.

When I talk about the particular disease, it has two interpretations:

1. Certain diseases make simple life and/or married life difficult to the extent partner having one may die soon.
2. Certain diseases are transmitted to the offspring having a hereditary element.

Let me explain this in details.

To get rid of problems in married life, one has to get the premarital medical check-up.
It should be in form of 1. Simple history talking, 2. The medical examination by a specialist, and 3. Laboratory investigations, and 4. Other related tests.

Medical History:

You will be surprised to know a simple questioning regarding having any disease reveals great surprises. Each going-to-be partner should ask simple questions about having any disease of importance, any need of getting hospitalized for certain treatment and/or operation/surgery. This can lead to understanding the status of each. One more question is must regarding any inherited disease on paternal or maternal parents.

Physical Examinations:

A total body check-up is ideal including Eye, E.N.T. and following:

1. Physician: BP, heart, lungs and all systems should be checked.
2. Urologist: Male must be examined for normal external sex organs.
3. Gynaecologist: Female partner check-up for normalcy of her external sex organs.
4. Psychiatrist opinion regarding both cannot be over-emphasized.

Haematological Studies:

1. Blood group with Rh factor
2. Hepatitis
3. Sickle cell anaemia
4. Thalassemia
5. Aids and
6. Diabetes

Semen Analysis:

• For sperm count and motility
• X-ray chest
• Electrocardiogram (ECG)
• Sonography (Abdomen)

Hereditary Diseases:

The disease that appears in new-born - because one/both parents were having it and passed to the offspring - is known as hereditary diseases. They are transmitted by 23 pairs of chromosomes. I can give a big list of more than 400 diseases, but I will enlist only most common few.

• Colour-blindness
• Retinitis pigmentosa
• Hereditary blindness

• Angelman syndrome
• Coeliac disease
• Down syndrome
• Tay - Sachs disease
• Turner's syndrome
• Prader- Willis syndrome
• Klinfelters syndromes
• Canavan's disease

• Sickle-cell disease
• Haemophilia
• Thalassemia
• Hemochromatosis

• Polycystic kidney
• Phenylketonuria

• Neurofibromatosis Duchene muscular dystrophy
• Epilepsy
• Chorea
• Schizophrenia
• Manic-depressive insanity

So, a million dollar would be: How to prevent such diseases?

1. Avoid marriage.
2. Investigate to-be-partner for hereditary disease and avoid marriage with one having any of such disease(s).
3. Avoid being parents at all either voluntarily or by sterilization operation.

You will be surprised to know one country is having the law of compulsory sterilization of person having a hereditary disease and who has been admitted to a mental asylum or a prisoner.

To conclude,

• I will say awareness of medical issues before marriage is a must.
• If you can, for detailed medical investigations, it is ideal.
• Minimum is asking questions regarding the prevalence of any disease.

Now I can say, BEST wishes for long and happy married life!!

Also Read: Before Saying "Yes" For Marriage - II