Skip to main content

Before Saying "Yes" For Marriage

Typically marriages are decided by one of these two methods in our society:
  1. Arranged Marriage: Socially accepted and practised method where ‘offer’ for marriage is given by appropriate party and then, marriage is finalized on the basis of match-making.
  2. Love Marriage: Recently established way of selecting marriage partner after some contact, friendship and/or attraction because of looks. Here prospective partners for marriage decide themselves marry with or without consent from parents and families.
Well, either way, the final decision of marriage is made after checking the possibility of matching with each other on the basis of social, academic, financial and/or physical appearance.


The new addition of ‘matching horoscopes’ has appeared on the scene recently. Marriage proposals are refused on the so-called matching of the horoscope is not there.

What is hardly considered and ignored in total is the ‘Pre-marital detailed medical check-up’ of both of the partners. This article is to bring to notice the importance of issue(s) of health for the success of any marriage.

I will give three real-life examples to explain my point.
  1. A female partner having serious Heart Disease at the time of and before marriage did not inform anyone about this. So the to-be-married happy groom was unaware of it. To his shock and surprise, the wife died on the day of marriage.
  2. A female partner was having Epilepsy - well controlled with medicines, but she omitted to let anyone know and stopped medicines too. She wanted to hide the disease because of its social taboo. She had an epileptic fit – convulsions – on the very night of marriage and the end result was none other than divorce. A similar story can be said about Leucoderma – a white patch on the body.
  3. Male partner was having AIDS before marriage. He passed this to his wife who died within five years of marriage and husband died five more years after that.
So many examples can be cited here, but those few are just to introduce the subject, explain the seriousness of the issue and make you aware of the subject.

When I talk about the particular disease, it has two interpretations:
  1. Certain diseases make simple life and/or married life difficult to the extent partner having one may die soon.
  2. Certain diseases are transmitted to the offspring having a hereditary element.
Let me explain this in details.

To get rid of problems in married life, one has to get the premarital medical check-up.
It should be in form of 1. Simple history talking, 2. The medical examination by a specialist, and 3. Laboratory investigations, and 4. Other related tests.

Medical History:

You will be surprised to know a simple questioning regarding having any disease reveals great surprises. Each going-to-be partner should ask simple questions about having any disease of importance, any need of getting hospitalized for certain treatment and/or operation/surgery. This can lead to understanding the status of each. One more question is must regarding any inherited disease on paternal or maternal parents.

Physical Examinations:

A total body check-up is ideal including Eye, E.N.T. and following:
  1. Physician: BP, heart, lungs and all systems should be checked.
  2. Urologist: Male must be examined for normal external sex organs.
  3. Gynaecologist: Female partner check-up for normalcy of her external sex organs.
  4. Psychiatrist opinion regarding both cannot be over-emphasized.
Haematological Studies:
  1. Blood group with Rh factor
  2. Hepatitis
  3. Sickle cell anaemia
  4. Thalassemia
  5. Aids and
  6. Diabetes

Semen Analysis:
  • For sperm count and motility
  • X-ray chest
  • Electrocardiogram (ECG)
  • Sonography (Abdomen)
Hereditary Diseases:

The disease that appears in new-born - because one/both parents were having it and passed to the offspring - is known as hereditary diseases. They are transmitted by 23 pairs of chromosomes. I can give a big list of more than 400 diseases, but I will enlist only most common few.
  • Colour-blindness
  • Retinitis pigmentosa
  • Hereditary blindness
  • Angelman syndrome
  • Coeliac disease
  • Down syndrome
  • Tay - Sachs disease
  • Turner's syndrome
  • Prader- Willis syndrome
  • Klinfelters syndromes
  • Canavan's disease
  • Sickle-cell disease
  • Haemophilia
  • Thalassemia
  • Hemochromatosis
  • Polycystic kidney
  • Phenylketonuria
  • Neurofibromatosis Duchene muscular dystrophy
  • Epilepsy
  • Chorea
  • Schizophrenia
  • Manic-depressive insanity
So, a million dollar would be: How to prevent such diseases?
  1. Avoid marriage.
  2. Investigate to-be-partner for hereditary disease and avoid marriage with one having any of such disease(s).
  3. Avoid being parents at all either voluntarily or by sterilization operation.
You will be surprised to know one country is having the law of compulsory sterilization of person having a hereditary disease and who has been admitted to a mental asylum or a prisoner.

To conclude,
  • I will say awareness of medical issues before marriage is a must.
  • If you can, for detailed medical investigations, it is ideal.
  • Minimum is asking questions regarding the prevalence of any disease.
Now I can say, BEST wishes for long and happy married life!!


Comments

  1. Good point. I have seen people doing painstaking research on horoscopes (which, I think is an utter waste of time and resources) and not even give a slightest consideration to possible medical records/history.

    Also, due to our social norms (that are not conductive to openness), there's a practical implementation issue here which is difficult to overcome.

    -- Vishal

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Vishal,

      I am happy you have accepted the fact that we do not give even slightest importance to medical problems. Here we need to be aware and active, then only it will serve some purpose.

      I liked your activeness in responding.

      Thanks,
      Dr Bharat Desai

      Delete
  2. Varna Points Significance:
    Outer appearance.
    Classical (Implicit) Power.
    Dominance of nature with regards to temperament and general health of the spouses.
    Work and Spiritual Development.
    Note: This aspect is particularly important for Kshatriyas the warriors or fighting class which is engaged in escorting the society in particular and the nation at large.
    Vashya Points Significance:

    Dominance of Love or Attraction with peace and harmony intensity of mutual love between Male & Female.
    Abilities of understanding of Love mutually through physical attraction (Includes personality).
    Note: This (Vashya Point) is important for everyone.
    Tara Points Significance:

    Tara represents destiny i.e. by and large prosperity, Happiness and Growth, collectively called fortune of the couple.
    Note: Tara Points is important for everyone.
    Yoni Points Significance:

    Yoni represents mentality and interaction between the spouses (i.e. proposed couple). This describes the basic compatibility while living together.
    Note: This aspect or trait is particularly important for Shoodras (Shudras), i.e. the labour or servant class in the society. As per our mythology of occult science Yoni is considered to be equivalent to species given to organism as a result of deeds in the previous births. Yoni aspect reflects the nature proneness to trifles and violent actions of persons.
    Gana Points Significance:

    Gana represents the quality of adaptability to the circumstances, the temperament, actions, tastes, likings, talents etc. of the spouses in question.
    Note: The aspect of Gana is specially relevant in 'Vaishyas', the business and trade community.
    Graha Points Significance:

    Rashi Swami represents friendship between couple, their mental capabilities, integrity and understanding each other.
    Note: This aspect is important for everyone irrespective of caste or creed etc.
    Bhakoot Points Significance:

    Bhakoot is related to Rashi or Moon signs or Lunar signs. In our Astrology the Moon is related to or has a direct relationship with mind, i.e. Mental soundness. There goes a line in Sanskrit Chandrama Manso Jatah meaning thereby The Moon was born from mind.
    So Bhakoot represents the following qualities or Traits.
    Mental Soundness, Life of Children, Economic Conditions or Status, Marital Bond or Attachments.
    Nadi Points Significance:

    Nadi represents health, longevity and fertility. In other words it is related is ailments of the couple, age and fertility of bearing the issues. Nadis are three Aadya, Madhya and Antya. Nadi represent genetic setup in the knowledge of Astrology. Two identical 'Nadis' of Male and Female spouses are not acceptable in Astrology. This gives birth to the idea that cross matching or breeding is healthier sign for generation. Now modern science has also explored and found the fact as true. It is widely known fact now that cross-breeds (hybrids) give best or at least better results.

    ReplyDelete
  3. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    ReplyDelete

Post a comment

Optionally, you can also email your feedback directly to the author.

Popular this week:

Anavils - An Endangered Community

After Parsis, Anavils (Anavil Brahmins, અનાવિલ બ્રાહ્મણ ) are the fastest decreasing community. The total population of Anavils around the world does not exceed two lakhs figure and that is also fast reducing day by day. Days are not far, beyond a century or so, when they will have to be seen/found in records, photos and videos. Why?

Because,
   - they get married too late,    - many are dying unmarried,    - they wait for the career to be settled before the first (and maybe the only) childbirth.

Jainism: Simplified

I am introducing here world spread religion having 5.5 million followers, mainly in India and abroad like USA, UK, Canada, East Africa and many other countries in one of the six greatest religions. Word "Jain" is derived from "Jina" meaning conqueror. "Arihant" is one who has destroyed his inner enemies like anger, greed, passion and ego.


On Father’s Day

Parents are important. Because we take birth because of them. They get married (usually)and decide to become parents. They stop anti-pregnancy drugs-contraceptives, they start loving(!) each other and have a physical relationship or sometimes even tolerate the torture of IVF and end result is the birth of a child - YOU! So, in a time of very late marriages, delayed parenthood and zero-to-one child, to take birth is no accident. Point being, the parents are important and the children should be grateful to them.

Karmic Theory (Law Of Karma)

“Facing Challenges and Creating Destiny” by BK Shivani, Gurgaon
National Conference on Mind-Body-Medicine, Mount Abu.
August 6-10, 2010
What is Karma?

Karma is work or energy going out in the form of 1. Thought, 2. Word and/or 3. Action. Resultant return of energy is in the same amount known as Bhagya (Destiny). The role of God is to ask you to do Karma and to help you to do RIGHT karma. Then whatever good/bad karma you do, the result is accordingly and entirely your responsibility. Because the result is Destiny (Bhagya). So don’t blame anyone else or God for anything bad. Do not try to blame someone responsible for your own deed and its result.

My 2018 Accounts (On Life)

Over time, I have learnt and practised being accountable and better-organised in day to day life. That makes me disciplined and presentable with honour – any time and every time. I maintain day to day diary for the last seven years recording all the events and emotions. Reading the contents of the 2018 year diary inspired me to write the statement of account presenting activities of 365 days of the year.

Daily Routine
I consider my day starting at night, 9.30 PM, when I go to bed. I get up around 2:00 to 3:00 AM. That’s when I do my reading and writing work until I fall asleep again. That gives me more than 2 to 3 hours of study every night.I do clinical practice as an ophthalmologist between 9.30 AM to 1:00 PM in the morning and 4.30 to 7:00 PM in the evening. Yes, after lunch, between 1.30 to 4:00 PM there is a compulsory sleep, the classic after siesta, for about two hours.Morning hours, between 7:00 to 9.30 AM are “no work” time, spent in getting ready, reading newspapers and havin…

ચાલો, જાણીએ દક્ષિણ ગુજરાતના અનાવિલોને

અનાવિલ સમાજનો પરિચય
વાપીથી તાપી અથવા કહોકે ઉંમરગામથી કોસંબા સુધી વિસ્તરેલા અનાવિલો, હકીકતમાં વિશ્વના દરેક ખૂણે પથરાયેલા છે. અપરિણિત રહેવું- મોડાં લગ્નો અને એક કે તેથી ઓછા બાળકો ધરાવતા અનાવિલો ધીરે ધીરે કુલ બે લાખથી પણ ઓછી વસ્તી વિશ્વમાં ધરાવે છે. આપણો ઈતિહાસ
આપણે કહી શકીએ કે આપણો ઈતિહાસ કમસેકમ 5000 વર્ષ જુનો છે. દક્ષિણ ગુજરાતના અનાવલ (ત્યારે અનાદિપુર તરીકે પ્રખ્યાત) ખાતે ભગવાન રામને રાવણ જેવા બ્રાહ્મમણના વધના પ્રાયશ્ચિત માટે પાપ ધોવા માટે મહાયજ્ઞ કરવાની જરૂર પડી ત્યારે હનુમાન આપણા પૂર્વજોને આયોધ્યાથી અનાવલ લાવ્યા હતા ત્યારથી આપણે અજાચક્ર બ્રાહ્મમણો કે અનાવિલ તરીકે ઓળખાઈએ છીએ. હકીકતમાં, આપણે અફઘાનિસ્તાનથી આવેલા આર્યો છીએ.બિહારના મગધ રાજ્યના રાજ્યકર્તા તરીકે પણ આપણા પૂર્વજો ઓળખાયા છે. અનાવિલ રાજા “પૂત્રક” નાગકન્યા “પાટલી” સાથે લગ્ન કર્યા પછી રાજધાની તરીકે “પાટલીપૂત્રક” શહેર વસાવે છે જે આજે પટના તરીકે ઓળખાય છે. તેથી જ આપણા જેવા બુદ્ધિશાળી અને નેતા ચાણકય ઉર્ફે કૌટિલ્ય પણ અનાવિલ હોવાનું મનાય છે.અનાવલ રાજ્ય જે વ્યારા, મહુવા, વાંસદા, અને ચીખલી તાલુકા સુધી વિસ્તરેલું હતું તેના રાજા અનાવ…

ભગવાન શિવ શંકર – ભોલેનાથ

શિવ – શંકર – ભોલેનાથ તરીકે
ભગવાન શંકર નો પરિચય ભોલેનાથ તરીકે અવરનવાર આપવામાં આવે છે, તે અમસ્તો નથી. તેના ભોળપણ ના અસંખ્ય દાખલાઓ તેમના જીવનમાથી જોવા મળે છે, તેથી આ વાત સાબિત થયેલ છે. તો, ચાલો,તેની વિગત મેળવીએ.

ભગવાન શિવ દુનિયાદારીથી તદ્દન અજાણ હતા એટલે તેમને લગ્ન કેવી રીતે થાય, લગ્ન પછી ઘર કેમ જોઈએ અથવા લગ્ન પછી શરીર સંબધ શા માટે જરૂરી તેની બિલકુલ ખબર નહોતી.

મોરારજી દેસાઈ

ભારતના ભૂતપૂર્વ વડાપ્રધાન શ્રી. મોરારજી દેસાઈ આપણી વચ્ચે જીવ્યા અને મર્યા. તેમને માટે આપણને સૌને ગર્વ છે. કારણ તેઓ ગુજરાતી હતા. આપણી જેમ અનાવિલ હતા અને ગરીબ પરિવારના સભ્ય હતા. તો પણ ભારતના રાજકિય સર્વોચ્ચ પદ વડાપ્રધાન પદે સ્વબળે પહોચ્યા હતા. તેઓ આપણા હતા આપણી સાથે હતા જીવ્યા હતા. આપણે તેમને સરળતાથી મળીને વાતચીત કરી શકતા હતા. છતાં તેમનો પરિચય મને કહેવા દો.

મોરારજી દેસાઈનો સ્વભાવ

સાચો પરિચય ખૂબ ઓછા લોકોને હતો. આથી તેમના વિષે ઘણી ગેરસમજો પ્રવર્તતી હતી. તેમના વિષે પૂર્વગ્રહથી લખાતી માહિતીઓ દ્વારા આપણે તેમને ઓળખતા થયા હતા. ત્યારે તેમનો સ્વભાવ જીદ્દી, તુંડમિજાજી, અભિમાની કે ખૂબ જ કડક હોવાની ખોટી માન્યતા હતી. તે દૂર કરવાનો અને સાચી રીતે તેમને ઓળખાવવાનો પ્રયત્ન અહી મેં કર્યો છે. મોરારજી દેસાઈના સ્વભાવનો પરિચય કરાવવા અને તેમને થતો અન્યાય નિવારવા હું તેમની આત્મકથામાંથી દેખાતા અને ઉદભવતા તેમના સ્વભાવની વાત કરીશ. ચાલો, પહેલા ટૂંકો પરિચય જાણીએ.

ટૂંકો જીવન પરિચય
૨૯.૦૨.૧૮૯૬ વલસાડ જીલ્લાના ભદેલી ગામે મોસાળમાં જન્મપ્રાથમિક શિક્ષણ : ભદેલી અને સાવરકુંડલામાધ્યમિક શિક્ષણ : શેઠ આર.જે.જે.હાઈ સ્કૂલ અને બાઈ આવ…

Mother Is Mother

My mother passed away on 06 Oct 2010. I can say I was with my mother till 60 years of my life. Prof. Sandhyaben Bhatt (Bardoli) sent me her article on her mother and asked me to tell her about my mother. But I was reluctant to spell a few words here and there about my mother because I was considering her beyond words. Anytime, I was remembering her and praising mother is always inadequate and much less compared to the mother’s dedication for her offsprings.

My Daily Activity Report Card

Last year I wrote an article describing my year-round activities. It covered gross points of major activities and events in the year 2018. Then I thought why not write something about my day-to-day activities once in a while and the result is this article!

I am a practising ophthalmologist for 40+ years. Activities other than eye disease treatment is at the cost of professional practice. But I do not mind losing practice nowadays because that is my concept of stepwise, gradual retirement.