After getting married, the wife changes her name and adds husband's name. Similarly, the husband should also add wife's name to his. And both can drop their fathers' names.
After the wedding, the wife wears "Mangal Sutra" and applies "Bindi" on her forehead. The married man - the husband - too should find out similar symbolic marks on neck and forehead. And till then, he should copy wearing Mangal Sutra and Bindi.
Ideal women respecting Indian culture demand this or nobody stops you living with present-day hypocrisy.
What do you say?
After the wedding, the wife wears "Mangal Sutra" and applies "Bindi" on her forehead. The married man - the husband - too should find out similar symbolic marks on neck and forehead. And till then, he should copy wearing Mangal Sutra and Bindi.
Ideal women respecting Indian culture demand this or nobody stops you living with present-day hypocrisy.
What do you say?
Dear Pappa,
ReplyDeleteThat's an interesting point, and quite relevant in the Indian society context.
In my opinion, we need some fundamental changes in the way we 'transition' into marriages. Why should anyone need to change their names? Apart from the irrational social logic it may carry (and I can't think of one good reason why anyone should change the name, ever), the logistical and clerical nightmare it brings is overwhelming and completely optional. The marriage certificate contains all the necessary details to prove the two are legally married.
Another valid point you raised, why should only the wife wear Mangal Sutra or any such thing to symbolise her marital status? Again, my point would be - instead of hoping the husband wears something similar, why should the wife wear anything additional at all? Why even the engagement ring? I know this sounds too progressive for a rather conventional social setup we have, but some fundamental changes may be the only solution to this hypocrisy.
Regards, Rahul
Beloved Ravi,
DeleteI am in full agreement in point about no need for woman=wife to change her name or wear mangalsutra or apply bindi on forehead symbolic of marital status.
OK.
And similarly male=husband also does not need any such symbolic items.
OK.
But till that change about females does not take place in society in total, why should man be spared from such compulsions?
Well, the change and rational approach to life and issues is near impossible even for so called qualified persons with rigid social followings. I can give number of examples amongst our close relatives.
Except following rationality at ones' own place and in ones'own dealings, rest is better left as it is!
-Pappa
Fair point, irrespective of the orthodox approach or the rational one, the rituals or conventions should be equally applicable to the wife and the husband. That's for the husbands to realise and stick to.
DeleteMeanwhile, it's interesting how (most) wives are quite fine with the conventions as they are. They do not seem to mind with the current social arrangement, and with that attitude, like you said, rational approach to social setup is near impossible!
You raised a true point.... Married women in general, ignore a few exceptions here and there, have no issue with the present day scenario. Then why others should bother!
DeleteBefore marriage, I was OK doing all household works, be it cooking, washing clothes and what not.
Bhavana had a belief husband should not do this and that. I gladly accepted her choice. Now to change after 41 years is not easy!
Agreed. In fact, I'm aware of some cases in our own family, where the 'wife' not only takes up all the responsibility on their shoulders, they also like the second-grade treatment. They feel the pride in their husband's humiliating behaviour in public. Considering that, it's far from expecting such women, men and their families to bring any liberalisation in our society.
DeleteParas Vashi was also talking about respect to wife. He was clear about independent life of both partners and importance of rational behaviour. I think such persons are not more than one per hundred!
Delete