Skip to main content

Respect To Wife

After getting married, the wife changes her name and adds husband's name. Similarly, the husband should also add wife's name to his. And both can drop their fathers' names.

After the wedding, the wife wears "Mangal Sutra" and applies "Bindi" on her forehead. The married man - the husband - too should find out similar symbolic marks on neck and forehead. And till then, he should copy wearing Mangal Sutra and Bindi.




Ideal women respecting Indian culture demand this or nobody stops you living with present-day hypocrisy.

What do you say?

Comments

  1. Dear Pappa,

    That's an interesting point, and quite relevant in the Indian society context.

    In my opinion, we need some fundamental changes in the way we 'transition' into marriages. Why should anyone need to change their names? Apart from the irrational social logic it may carry (and I can't think of one good reason why anyone should change the name, ever), the logistical and clerical nightmare it brings is overwhelming and completely optional. The marriage certificate contains all the necessary details to prove the two are legally married.

    Another valid point you raised, why should only the wife wear Mangal Sutra or any such thing to symbolise her marital status? Again, my point would be - instead of hoping the husband wears something similar, why should the wife wear anything additional at all? Why even the engagement ring? I know this sounds too progressive for a rather conventional social setup we have, but some fundamental changes may be the only solution to this hypocrisy.

    Regards,
Rahul

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Beloved Ravi,

      I am in full agreement in point about no need for woman=wife to change her name or wear mangalsutra or apply bindi on forehead symbolic of marital status.
      OK.

      And similarly male=husband also does not need any such symbolic items.
      OK.

      But till that change about females does not take place in society in total, why should man be spared from such compulsions?

      Well, the change and rational approach to life and issues is near impossible even for so called qualified persons with rigid social followings. I can give number of examples amongst our close relatives.

      Except following rationality at ones' own place and in ones'own dealings, rest is better left as it is!

      -Pappa

      Delete
    2. Fair point, irrespective of the orthodox approach or the rational one, the rituals or conventions should be equally applicable to the wife and the husband. That's for the husbands to realise and stick to.

      Meanwhile, it's interesting how (most) wives are quite fine with the conventions as they are. They do not seem to mind with the current social arrangement, and with that attitude, like you said, rational approach to social setup is near impossible!

      Delete
    3. You raised a true point.... Married women in general, ignore a few exceptions here and there, have no issue with the present day scenario. Then why others should bother!

      Before marriage, I was OK doing all household works, be it cooking, washing clothes and what not.

      Bhavana had a belief husband should not do this and that. I gladly accepted her choice. Now to change after 41 years is not easy!

      Delete
    4. Agreed. In fact, I'm aware of some cases in our own family, where the 'wife' not only takes up all the responsibility on their shoulders, they also like the second-grade treatment. They feel the pride in their husband's humiliating behaviour in public. Considering that, it's far from expecting such women, men and their families to bring any liberalisation in our society.

      Delete
    5. Paras Vashi was also talking about respect to wife. He was clear about independent life of both partners and importance of rational behaviour. I think such persons are not more than one per hundred!

      Delete

Post a Comment

Optionally, you can also email your feedback directly to the author.

Also Popular On This Blog

દોસ્તાર - સુખનું સરનામું

_દોસ્તાર (સુખનું સરનામું)લેખક: જય વશી  પુસ્તક પરિચય - પ્રતિભાવ અને વિવેચન (ડૉ. ભરત દેસાઈ)
પુસ્તક પરિચય (Book Review) લખતી વખતે લખનારે પોતાનો પરિચય કે પરાકમોની વાત નથી કરવાની. ઉપરાંત લેખકના પુસ્તક દ્વારા જે વિચારો પોતે માણ્યા છે તેની વાત જ ટૂંકમાં કહેવાની હોય છે. પુસ્તક વાંચ્યું હોવું ફરજિયાત છે!? પુસ્તક વાંચવાની આતુરતા-ઉત્કઠા જાગે ત્યાર પછી થોડી વાતો વાચકને પુસ્તકમાંથી જ મળે તે માટે બાકી પણ રાખવાની હોય છે... મેં બાંઘેલી આ મર્યાદામાં રહીને પ્રતિભાવ રજૂ કરીશ.


મગજ ન ગુમાવો, વજન ગુમાવો

_ મગજ ન ગુમાવો, વજન ગુમાવો (Don't Lose Your Mind, Lose Your Weight) લેખિકા: ઋજુતા દિવેકર (Rujuta Diwekar), અનુવાદ: રેખા ઉદયન  પુસ્તક પરિચય: ડો. ભરતચંદ્ર એમ. દેસાઈ વધેલા વજનથી હતાશ અને ગભરાયેલા લોકોએ સરળ રરત્તો જાણવો હોય તો આટલું જરૂર જાણો. તંદુરસ્તી માપવા માટે વજનકાંટા કે મેઝર ટેપત્તી જરૂર પડે એવું થોડું જ છે? તમારા લગ્ન પ્રત્યે તમે ખરા દિલથી કામ કરતા હો અને ભરપૂર જિંદગી જીવતા હો, તો તમે ફિટ જ છો. આપ, પૌષ્ટિક અને યોગ્ય આહાર લેવા ઉપરાંત જીવન ભરપૂર માણતા પણ શીખવું જોઈએ, ત્યારે જ તમે ફિટ કહેવાઓ.

અહીં આપેલી સૂચનાઓનો કરશો તો Compensatory Diet, Herbal Diet, Crash Diet, Fat Free, Sugar Free, Baked diet, Comfort Food, South Beach Diet, Atkin Diet અને આવા અટપટા - ભૂખમરાવાળા અને થકવનારા ખોરાક (Diet Plan)થી ચોક્કસ મુક્તિ મળશે અને ભુખા રહ્યા વગર, ખાઈ-ખાઈને વજન ઉતારી શકશો.


Dawood Ibrahim - A Journey From Dongri To Karachi, Via Dubai

One of the recent off-bit topics I’ve read, this one book about ‘Mumbai Mafia’ has been the most interesting, well-researched and well-written. Here is an excerpt from Dawood Ibrahim's journey from “Dongri to Dubai”, and the six decades of Mumbai mafia.

Anavils - Endangered Species Among Human

After Parsis, Anavils (Anavil Brahmins, અનાવિલ બ્રાહ્મણ ) are the fastest decreasing community. The total population of Anavils around the world does not exceed two lakhs figure and that is also fast reducing day by day. Days are not far, beyond a century or so, when they will have to be seen/found in records, photos and videos. Why?


Because,
   - they get married too late,    - many are dying unmarried,    - they wait for the career to be settled before the first (and maybe the only) childbirth.