Skip to main content

Respect To Wife

After getting married, the wife changes her name and adds husband's name. Similarly, the husband should also add wife's name to his. And both can drop their fathers' names.

After the wedding, the wife wears "Mangal Sutra" and applies "Bindi" on her forehead. The married man - the husband - too should find out similar symbolic marks on neck and forehead. And till then, he should copy wearing Mangal Sutra and Bindi.




Ideal women respecting Indian culture demand this or nobody stops you living with present-day hypocrisy.

What do you say?

Comments

  1. Dear Pappa,

    That's an interesting point, and quite relevant in the Indian society context.

    In my opinion, we need some fundamental changes in the way we 'transition' into marriages. Why should anyone need to change their names? Apart from the irrational social logic it may carry (and I can't think of one good reason why anyone should change the name, ever), the logistical and clerical nightmare it brings is overwhelming and completely optional. The marriage certificate contains all the necessary details to prove the two are legally married.

    Another valid point you raised, why should only the wife wear Mangal Sutra or any such thing to symbolise her marital status? Again, my point would be - instead of hoping the husband wears something similar, why should the wife wear anything additional at all? Why even the engagement ring? I know this sounds too progressive for a rather conventional social setup we have, but some fundamental changes may be the only solution to this hypocrisy.

    Regards,
Rahul

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Beloved Ravi,

      I am in full agreement in point about no need for woman=wife to change her name or wear mangalsutra or apply bindi on forehead symbolic of marital status.
      OK.

      And similarly male=husband also does not need any such symbolic items.
      OK.

      But till that change about females does not take place in society in total, why should man be spared from such compulsions?

      Well, the change and rational approach to life and issues is near impossible even for so called qualified persons with rigid social followings. I can give number of examples amongst our close relatives.

      Except following rationality at ones' own place and in ones'own dealings, rest is better left as it is!

      -Pappa

      Delete
    2. Fair point, irrespective of the orthodox approach or the rational one, the rituals or conventions should be equally applicable to the wife and the husband. That's for the husbands to realise and stick to.

      Meanwhile, it's interesting how (most) wives are quite fine with the conventions as they are. They do not seem to mind with the current social arrangement, and with that attitude, like you said, rational approach to social setup is near impossible!

      Delete
    3. You raised a true point.... Married women in general, ignore a few exceptions here and there, have no issue with the present day scenario. Then why others should bother!

      Before marriage, I was OK doing all household works, be it cooking, washing clothes and what not.

      Bhavana had a belief husband should not do this and that. I gladly accepted her choice. Now to change after 41 years is not easy!

      Delete
    4. Agreed. In fact, I'm aware of some cases in our own family, where the 'wife' not only takes up all the responsibility on their shoulders, they also like the second-grade treatment. They feel the pride in their husband's humiliating behaviour in public. Considering that, it's far from expecting such women, men and their families to bring any liberalisation in our society.

      Delete
    5. Paras Vashi was also talking about respect to wife. He was clear about independent life of both partners and importance of rational behaviour. I think such persons are not more than one per hundred!

      Delete

Post a comment

Optionally, you can also email your feedback directly to the author.

Popular this week:

Before Shirdi, Shivarimal and After Saputara, Shivarimal - Story of a School for Blind Children

We visit Saputara (the only hill station in Gujarat) round the year for pleasure trips. Similarly, the devotees of Sai Baba visit Shirdi frequently. For a change and possibly a better experience, I’d like to suggest you visit Shivarimal (a Free Residential School for Visually Impaired (Blind) and Physically Challenged Children), about 20 km from Saputara and 93 km away from Bilimora on Bilimora-Saputara road. Let me tell you my reasons for details.

My close friend Piyushbhai Dharaiya formed a charitable trust in the name of his wife Late Jyotsanaben and decided to donate the interest away, every year. I suggested him to visit Shivarimal School for Blind Children and experience the emotions of blind students. We finally visited this place on Sunday, February 16th, 2014 and the result is this introductory article.

Gujarat – Introduction And History

A student of History has to understand Geography, Economics and Anthropology simultaneously. A person curious to know about world history has to proceed step by step, learning his own state first, then country and then only one can understand world history. Well, appreciating above facts, I am starting my study with History Of My State Of Gujarat. I have put it in order of time and later described important states and rulers.

Karmic Theory (Law Of Karma)

“Facing Challenges and Creating Destiny” by BK Shivani, Gurgaon
National Conference on Mind-Body-Medicine, Mount Abu.
August 6-10, 2010
What is Karma?

Karma is work or energy going out in the form of 1. Thought, 2. Word and/or 3. Action. Resultant return of energy is in the same amount known as Bhagya (Destiny). The role of God is to ask you to do Karma and to help you to do RIGHT karma. Then whatever good/bad karma you do, the result is accordingly and entirely your responsibility. Because the result is Destiny (Bhagya). So don’t blame anyone else or God for anything bad. Do not try to blame someone responsible for your own deed and its result.

Anavils - An Endangered Community

After Parsis, Anavils (Anavil Brahmins, અનાવિલ બ્રાહ્મણ ) are the fastest decreasing community. The total population of Anavils around the world does not exceed two lakhs figure and that is also fast reducing day by day. Days are not far, beyond a century or so, when they will have to be seen/found in records, photos and videos. Why?

Because,
   - they get married too late,    - many are dying unmarried,    - they wait for the career to be settled before the first (and maybe the only) childbirth.

Bhagavad Gita - Short And Straight

Have you read Bhagavad Gita - also known as Shrimad Bhagavad Gita? A positive answer is not much awaited and so this article - giving details in a precise and shortest way. Just read every line and try to be with me in this story-telling. I am sure you will end up with great surprises.


BHAGAVAD GITA

Here, Bhagavad means GOD. Gita means singing poetry.

The context of the story is a dialogue - conversation, taking place on the battlefield of Kurukshetra war between Lord Krishna (kṛṣṇa) and Pandava prince Arjuna.

Three Decades Of My Nomadic Experience

I recently read the novel "Pyramid of Virgin Dreams" by Vipul Mitra. He affectionately described the pains and pleasures of multiple transfers because of his father’s job as DSP and later himself as an IAS officer. While reading it occurred to me, I have had a similar life of changing a place many times nearly every alternate year. So why not narrate my story and the article is here! A nomad means someone who lives by travelling from place to place - moving around all the while. I was a nomad for the initial 28 years of my life, staying and studying at more than 15 places. A year or two and change of the place again!

Jainism: Simplified

I am introducing here world spread religion having 5.5 million followers, mainly in India and abroad like USA, UK, Canada, East Africa and many other countries in one of the six greatest religions. Word "Jain" is derived from "Jina" meaning conqueror. "Arihant" is one who has destroyed his inner enemies like anger, greed, passion and ego.


Janki Van – A Nature Retreat

If you want to be alone to be with nature, it is an ideal spot. But if you enjoy crowds with your group this is an equally important place to visit.
42 km from Bilimora on Vansda Road, we reached Janki Van in less than an hour. Dr Nayana Patel, Dr Bhavana Desai (my wife) and I visited the place impromptu on a weekday.


The name Janki is related to Sita Mata of Ramayana and it is believed that at a certain point in the history, Sita Mata did stay here. The garden, a great picnic spot (16 hectors big), is situated 5 km away from Vansda, 6 km from Unai and 42 km from Bilimora. It is developed by the Gujarat Forestry Department under social forestry action and was inaugurated on 02-Aug-2015 while celebrating the Forest Day. Please, keep in mind it remains closed on Monday and visiting hours are 10:00 am to 5:00 pm.

મા પાર્વતી

ભગવાન શિવ-શંકર-મહાદેવ અને ગણેશ વિષે આપણે ખૂબ જ ભક્તિભાવ ધરાવતા હોઈએ છીએ. એ બન્ને વિષે જાતજાતની માહિતી રાખીએ છે. પણ તેમના કુટુંબના અગત્યના સભ્ય પાર્વતી-મા દુર્ગા-વિષે લગભગ અજ્ઞાત છીએ. ચાલો, મા પાર્વતીને વિગતે ઓળખીએ.

પર્વતપુત્રી તે પાર્વતી

પર્વત રાજા હિમાવત અને માતા મેનાવતીની પુત્રી પાર્વતીનો ભગવાન શિવ પતિ છે, તો ગણેશ અને કાર્તિકેયપુત્રો છે. પાર્વતિના ભાઈ વિષ્ણુ અને બહેન નદી ગંગા છે. આ સામાજીક પરિચય વાળી મા પાર્વતીને પર્વતને લીધે શૈલજા, અદિજા, નાગજા, ગિરિજા, અને હેમવતી તરીકે પણ ઓળખવામા આવે છે.

History Of Muslims In India: Hindu-Muslim Relations

With this article, I would like to tell you about three things: (1) History of Islam and Muslims in India; then I will try to elaborate, specifically telling (2) What went wrong; and finally I will conclude telling (3) The future of relations amongst Muslims and Hindus.


Although it is routine to give references, in the end, I shall start with the list of three reference books in the beginning. All these details are not mine, I’ve only summarized them from these books.