News anchors like formal persons may ask me, 'How do you feel?' The straightforward and true answer is “sad and sorry for the loss” - because he was my companion nine months before our birth, being a twin from the womb of our mother. 

We do weep and tears roll down. It is a natural reaction to a departed brother – but being elderly and even otherwise, we can accept the fact and be normal very soon. So formalities of consolations are hardly needed or say out of question. While showing any gesture, concerned relatives must remember this and avoid being too much formal. The shock wave is created and at the earliest, it is neutralized.

Bhupat was a higher secondary school teacher in Hindi after his M.A., B.Ed. education. After retirement and even much before that from 1976 onwards, he was a very active devotee and worker of Gayatri Parivar. He is survived by his wife Bharati (alias Hemlata), son Deval, daughter-in-law Shivani, and grandson Devansh. So his family is well-settled in social and financial matters.

Death 

We are sure about one thing after birth and that is death. The only problem is we don’t know the time. We do not know for sure how long one is going to live and still, we keep on living in a way as if we are never going to die and live a very long life. We forget about our exit – death and so we go on behaving self-centered and selfishly, even saving (hoarding) all we have. We just do not share our means to help the needy or donate – I have seen people being crude enough and not helping even their close ones. As death is certain, so another certain fact is about leaving everything including one’s own body, own house, and all the possessions like money, land, and other materialistic properties. So can we think of planning to share and donate? Let us think.

Condolence Meeting (બેસણું)

It is a fixed time appointment to meet the persons whose family member has passed. Earlier, a few decades ago, it was informed by postcards. Nowadays, newspaper advertisements in one or more newspapers with photos of the departed person is a common practice. The place and time are informed. It can be at home or in a rented community hall. So during this fixed duration of time, the place is arranged with a big photo of one who is no more, and close relatives like parents, sons, daughters, grandchildren, etc. sit in a row in a formal white dress. Visitors are asked to sit in front of them. Visiting relatives/friends first join hands in front of the photo, show respect by offering petals of flowers put there and then meet the relatives sitting in a row. The visitors are plenty, so except for meeting for a minute or so, there is hardly much time for them. After initial formality, they sit in the crowd and chit-chat about everything like political, and social events around or share market. Usually, there is hardly any concern for the demised. For this half-a-minute meeting of showing their concern/presence, people often travel up to 500-800 km distance.

Condolence is an expression of how sorry you feel for somebody whose relative or close friend has just died.

Your words can be:

• My sincerest condolences to you at this time. You have my deepest sympathy and unwavering support. 
• Wishing you peace, comfort, courage where, and lots of love at this time of sorrow. 
• My heart goes out to you at this difficult time. 

So condolence is sympathy and sadness with another in sorrow. Condolence applies chiefly to the formal expression of grief to one who has suffered a loss. Generally, it is said for death in the family.

Messages of condolence:

• My heart goes out to you for the loss of your dear one. 
• I can not imagine the pain and heartache you are feeling. 
• Losing someone so close is so hard. 
• Be kind and gentle with yourself in such a testing time. 
• I recall how much time you spent together. 

All in all, condolences are an expression of sympathy to someone who is experiencing pain arising from death, misfortune, or deep mental anguish. Condolence is an active conscious support of that person or activity.

During this condolence, meeting, bhajans by an orchestra or sound system are arranged. In very few places there is a commentary by the compeer about the life of a departed person and even PowerPoint presentation showing their life. Sometimes, it is converted into a meeting with lectures about the departed.

I want to write my own experiences about condolence meetings.

It is a formal program showing concern about the deceased and intimacy with the remaining relatives. In reality, because of the big gathering in a short period, the concerned parties cannot spare anytime for one another. It becomes more a 'show business' and less an exchange of emotions.

In spite of having a mourning mood and sorrowful faces, people make it a social gathering to chitchat with friends and relatives. For organizing individuals it becomes an insult more than anything else.

The inconvenience caused to visitors of long travel and its expenses, do not justify the purpose.

My daughter Vaishali invited us to join her on the Nashik tour for three days. We happily accepted her invitation and three of us – Vaishali, my wife Dr. Bhavna and myself began for the Nashik Tour. Vaishali and I had prepared the timetable after studying Google – Wikipedia and whatnot. We had already visited Nashik four times. So our expectations were clear. 

Nashik is known as one of the most religious cities in India related to Ramayana time around 5000 years back Treta yug. Nowadays, it can boast of being the big Industrial Estate and Indian Capital of wine manufacturers. Shirdi - home of the revered Saint Sai Baba, Trimbakeshwar temple at Trimbak, and Saptashringi are important tourist attractions nearby. From Bilimora one can go to Nashik via Saputara or Dharampur. We choose Dharampur – Kaparada route. During the rainy season, the forests were in a great mood with greenery all around with hills and valleys making a great scenery worth enjoying. The road was shown by google-map-so there was hardly any confusion. Yes, after Dharampur you do not have any restaurants or rent rooms till Kaparada. And same is the story after Kaparada to Nashik. So keep this in mind. We could enjoy the tour full of natural glory and be in no hurry to reach, so speed was slow enough to make the maximum pleasure.

I am not writing this essay for essay competition so I will not be academically perfect. I will not tell about all the places worth visiting but I will restrict only to my experience of Nashik.

The word Nashik is derived from the Sanskrit word ‘Nashika’ meaning nose. It is more relevant because the story of cutting the nose of Suparnakha by Laxman in her attempt to seduce Rama prevails. Nashika (Nose) ultimately became Nashik.

Well, there is ‘Kumbh Mela’ every twelve years with holistic dipping in tiver Gadovari at Panchavati by Lakhs of Sadhus and the Public of India, you cannot even imagine how stay, food and taking bath (Snan) by lakhs of people at one place is managed by Governor machinery!

Panchvati, Nashik: 

• Panchvati is a place having five (Panch) huge banyan trees (at Vati = “Vad” tree) on the bank of river Godavari. 
• Lord Rama stayed here for fourteen years after exile. He stayed here with his wife Sita and brother Laxman. Kidnapping of Sita (Sitaharan) by Ravana took place here. 
• Dr. V. R. Rao (Professor of Anthropology) says: Definitely, the events described in Ramayan occurred here in reality. 
• Panchavati is an area on the bank of a river. It is comparable to Har-ki-Paudi Ghat of Haridwar. 

Ramkund:

27x12 sq. mt. bathing tank on the bank of River Godavari is known as Ramkund because Lord Ram is said to have bathed here during 14 years of exile. This was built in 1696 AD by Chitrarao Khatarkar. Ashti Visarjan Tirth (Ashes of bones of dead immersion spot) Lord Rama performed his father King Dasharath’s funeral rights here by doing bone immersion. According to popular belief it ashes of a dead relative immersed here he attains Salvation. ‘Dip’ in this tank is believed to fulfill one’s desires/wishes and free oneself from one’s sins.

Sita Caves (Sita Gufa):

A temple near Kalaram temple is surrounded by five banyan trees. Ravan kidnapped Sita from this place (Sitaharan). Sita worshipped Lord Shiva – ancient Shivlinga still exists in the cave. The cave has idols of Ram–Sita and Laxman. A narrow small staircase entry is the only way to go inside.

Shri Kalaram Temple:

Situated just nearby (500 mts.) Ramkund is this old Hindu Shrine in the Panchvati area. Because the idol of Lord Rama is made of black stone, it is known as Kalaram (the black-colored Lord Rama). The architectural design of Trimbakeshwar. The summit of this temple is made up of 32 tons of Gold. The temple is surrounded by an enclosure that comprises 96 pillars. The black body of Vishnu turned white while taking a bath here in river Godavari.

Tapovan:

Tapovan is a forest place (van) where Ram, Laxman, and Sita (Tap) the religious prayers. It is a Sangam (confluence) of Rivers Kapila and Godavari. They spent maximum time here. The place is dedicated to Lord Shri Ram as a founder. Laxman temple is a place where he met Ravan’s Sister Suparnakha and Laxman cut her nose when she tried to seduce Rama. There are Mahalaxmi, Lambe Hanuman, and many other temples.

You can find a place known as Laxman Rekha (the line drawn by Lakshman asking Sita not to cross one), but she ignores this and crosses Laxman Rekha when Ravan kidnaps (Sitaharan). While in Tapovan, do see:

• Sita Agni Kund
• Kapila Godavari Sangam
• Suparnakha Temple
• Sarva Dharma temple
• Laxman Rekha and

A family is a unit of people formed naturally by brothers and sisters of the same parents. A family can be extended by adding uncles and aunts (Kaka, Fui, Mama, Masi) with their offspring. Thus, a family comprises the people who love and support the members in good and bad times.

We tried to meet for two days and one night thinking it would be enough time - neither too short nor dragged. Yes,  we were happy and enjoyed ourselves all the while.

To finalise the venue, we initially Anaval Shukleshwar Dham and Saidham, Majigam. The cleanliness and furnishing of the rooms, the interiors, and the area outside at Saidham appealed to us. We just booked the rooms and started searching for the caterer. Maheshbhai Raval, chairman of the Saidham suggested Umesh from Gandevi. We finalised the menu with the timetable and ordered it accordingly. We invited all the members to confirm their presence and all replied accordingly.

Get set and go! 

On Sunday morning, nearly all gathered at the venue before 10:00. They had a long journey of 390 km from Pune, 350 km from Ahmedabad, and 200 km from Mumbai to reach the venue.

We thought we would play, chat, eat, and enjoy all the available time. To our pleasure, the same could be done! Our family comprises the elderly averaging mid-60s, the young generation at 40s and children around 5-10 years of age. The youngest being at 5 and the eldest at 76! All of them mixed together to play the games like cricket, saat thikari (સાત ઠીંકરી), badminton, housie, musical chair, pass-the-ball game. I will say - 'seeing is believing'! Because the words can not describe the details and experience. During the game of cricket, a lady at 70 was running fast to take the runs! Everybody wanted to win the housie game. So not getting the required numbers and desired result was making them unhappy, even angry and very chirpy. It got loud in the calm late night in the temple campus. But that only reenergised everyone to play for longer.

While playing saat thikari, cracking down the seven stones piled up and then getting the members of the opposite team out was never easy. All were excited and enjoying. Same with the musical chair and pass-the-ball games! The challenging games brought out the competitive spirit in all.

Food: The arranged meals such that at regular two hours' intervals some food was served. Breakfasts, three Gujarati Thalis, and a non-stop serving of tea-coffee made the show. The menu was of Anavil taste including walnut halva (અખરોટનો હલવો), shrikhand (શ્રીખંડ), and jalebi (જલેબી) as sweets; Jalaram sev-khaman (સેવ ખમણ), upama (ઉપમા), undhiyu (ઉંધીયું), banana-methi pakoda (કેળા-મેથીના પકોડા), batata-vada (બટાકા વડા) as farsaan (ફરસાણ) with two vegetables and rice-daal to complete the menu. All loved moong shaak (મગનું શાક) and hot fried puris (પુરી) for the breakfast on the last morning. The concluding event was high tea! Tea-coffee with biscuits and home-made chocolates Vaishali had prepared.

We had a nice jogging track of about a kilometre to walk around the pond full of greenery with lotus flowers all around. Most of us went for a walk there with ones' own group and enjoyed the sunrise and/or sunset as a bonus! Only lucky people get a chance of long walks in nature these days.

We could realise that being together itself creates great emotions of love, respect and brotherhood.  Just talking without subject and making a presence at the sight gives a sense of well-being, happiness and satisfaction. 

At the end of the day, we have learnt to keep meeting again and again. Our craving to be together again at the earliest has begun!

--Map directions to Sai Dham, Majigam

This is a novel depicting the story of an IAS officer’s life. Author Vipul Mitra is himself an IAS officer serving in Gujarat and living with his family in Ahmedabad. This book could take birth after ten years of thinking, writing and rewriting! 

The title pyramid was derived from an Egyptian pyramid with a gigantic structure, a symbol of power stretching higher and higher into the sky. The author compares the pyramid with bureaucrats. He says the only difference was that one housed deceased Egyptian pharaohs while other housed living, conniving, tattling officers. There is a long (300 pages!) story of dreams those are virgin like unconsummated physical relation!

You will read this novel to know what happens to Kartikeya Kukereja who meets his first failed love Revati Kapoor after both married and long gap of time passes. Revati desires to re-unite but does Kartikeya have the courage to hold on Revati? Honest? Mediocre? Coward? Does he ultimately succeed in fitting her in his life? 

The story background begins Kartikeya Kukreja having father Pratap as S.D.M. at Dhansa- later G.M. (General Manager) at Varsha Milk Plant and finally an IAS grade officer at Chandigarh. So his childhood is passed in the rural background finally going to big city Chandigarh for college study. 

While studying at NDA, Missouri find letter getting a post of an IAS officer, here Kartikeya gets frequent transfers because of his honesty and un-corruptive principals. Yes, the transfer is a routine thing in “Sarkari’ job. Storyline dwells around him, his Beautiful wife Aakanksha and his two children Roshni and Chirag. 

Why should you read this novel at all? I say for three reasons: your hobby of reading novels, getting wiser and finding out never seen comparisons all around everywhere!

I will post a few quotes first : 

Kartikeya would hear heavy police breathing behind his earlobes: it was like the breathing of a tigress before the hunt, of a politician before a poll, of a child looking at chocolates or of a calf before the feed!

He thought bidis made gardeners, just the way cigarettes made babus, cigars made entrepreneurs, pipes made professors or hookahs made rustic wise man!

It was the same routine of packing, loading and unpacking, the customary farewell dinners, the thrusting of cheap inferior mementoes, and emotional parting with household menials. 

His diary was his guilt sharing, tension draining, safety valve that absorbed all his day long shames like blotting paper snacking up adulterated milk to become fake mali. 

The dining hall symbolized the state. Punjabis doted on Butter Chicken and Paneer Makhani, Rajasthanis eulogized Dal Bati & Churma, Malayalees relished Appam & Stew and Tamilians savoured Dosa and Vada Sambhar 

The rural public had no work except working for their very survival eating, gathering fuelwood, collecting water, cooking, sleeping, defecating, procreating and feuding over street and field boundaries. 

A bureaucrat is never completely a bureaucrat without his flattering henchmen.

• File-walle were the men carrying files and bags.
• Door-wallahs were to open the doors making officer limbless amputee.
• Dictation-wallahs were to take notes and help him remember things to do.
• Gaadi-wallahs were men to chauffeur him around as if he is directionless.
• Yes, wallahs were men who nodded yes to every absurdity implying he was some higher divinity. 

• The red light of car draped with a white cloth-like the mouth of a surgeon. 
• Green curtains of rest house worked as though looted from the ophthalmic ward of Civil Hospital.
• Water in the jug was like urine?  
• The cops began to clap clumsily like circus jokers eulogising their ring leader. 
• Teaching occurred like the drizzle in the desert. 
• Its impact on him had been mind-boggling like the effect of a village elder’s freezing stare on a Purdah-less daughter.
• Kartikeya felt as insecure as a freshly abandoned orphan.

Yes, I have enlisted only a few, because each page contains many comparisons unique feature of this novel. Rarely seen anywhere else. I am happy and impressed by reading endless comparisons!

Raison d’etre: My treasure of words increased reading this French word telling about the reason to be (the reason for being). Yes, raison d’etre means reason, purpose or justification for some one’s existence or something like Japanese words “I kingai” reason d’etre teaches the purpose of life. 

Well, this novel “pyramid on virgin dreams” by ‘Vipul Mitra’ is a must-read book. it will stimulate your thought cycle very effectively and fast. Let us see. 

Pyramid Of Virgin Dreams Book Title: Pyramid Of Virgin Dreams Author: Vipul Mitra Book reviewed by: Dr Bharat Desai, Bilimora on 05-Jul-2020 Pages: 270 pages ISBN-10: 8129117444 ISBN-13: 978-8129117441