Half Hearted, Half Invitations

With modernisation and the advancement of civilization, some bad manners have been added to our society. Wedding invitation style is one of them. In the past, wedding invitation was extended to all the members of the family and for all the events of that wedding function. Unfortunately, these days the same is not followed.

Only fixed numbered members’ invitation: Instead of all the members, one or two members are invited to attend the wedding. Now in a family of two who will drop oneself when only one is invited. Or say in a family of three, when two are invited, who will remain at home? Sometimes, only one person is invited with a car for “Var Yatra” to accommodate four others! His status as a guest is lost to be only a poor car driver! This is insulting, irritating and disturbing. As a result, sometimes, no one attends the event.
Only selective event invitation: The host invites the guests only for one particular event and does not invite for others. Say a person is invited on the previous day of the wedding but not invited to the wedding itself. The guests are invited only for dinner, but not invited for the musical event, Ras Garba the same night. Like that person is invited for “Grah Shanti” but not for “Var Yatra" and the wedding the other day. The list can be extended, but to tell in brief, out of many events during the wedding, the invitation is restricted to only for one or two events and not all.
Only brothers (and not sisters’ family) invitation: If there are three married children in the family, say, one son and two daughters, but only the married son is invited and sisters are ignored. Similarly, only parents are invited and their married offspring (son/daughter/both) staying elsewhere are not mentioned in the invitation.

Well, in organising social events, the invitation is the most tricky work one has to do. The technique of invitation by post, phone, WhatsApp or visiting personally – are not the subjects of this article, so not detailed here.

In certain communities, all are invited to all the events. I think that is the most ideal situation. If you are poor, you may serve simple foods with limited items, but all are there to enjoy the event.

My suggestion is to invite only close family relatives and the closest few friends and not to invite others at all. But inviting only one or two members of the family is better not done. And everyone should be part of all the events and not for lunch/dinner only. Nowadays, people are not interested in eating in such functions anyway. In fact, to attend a wedding is a costly affair and making them stressful even to travel a long distance just for socialising. I do not honour such invitations.

All in all, be bold to ignore distant relatives and friends. Ideally, invite all the members of the close groups (maybe five-ten to twenty invitations) for total marital events. “All or None” – Invite all the members for all the events or none at all.