Dr. Bharat Desai's Blog

In my first presentation on At 60 and after… I had enlisted ten general characteristics related to age. Now I think it is worth writing my own experiences, views and ideas regarding the subject of being 60 . Well, I am sharing my thoughts. I am sure you will respond with your comments. First, I’d like to reply FAQs (frequently asked questions) regarding me:

At 60 and after... Even the not-so-young people around start addressing you as Uncle/Auntie. You start receiving less greeting cards on new year, birthday, wedding anniversary. You start earning less in case of professionals and start getting pensions if retired from such a job. One starts counting balances and investments that can give returns. Diseases of old-age like blood pressure, diabetes, arthritis, amnesia start showing their power. Certain serious illnesses like cancer, paralysis and heart problems start troubling. You start receiving concessions in railway ticket, state transport fare and air tickets. Younger people may start offering a seat at public places out of respect or pity. You may be allowed to go ahead in 'Q's and if needed they may support you. You start feeling a new phase of life has begun, where you have to start compromising and adjusting in place of ruling and dominating as in the past. Senior citizen clubs and old-age homes start waiting ...

Happy. "Something" Day! If you have always been a well-wisher of all the concerned, I doubt wishing "Happy" this and that makes any extra sense. You will never wish bad-luck for any of your relative, friend or neighbour, any way - say, not even in a dream! Let us be real and original, instead of being formal and showy.

Lifeline : In Kaun Banega Crorepati (KBC), a TV game show, they say one shouldn't delay decision of using a lifeline when in confusion or state of uncertainty. Or else, you may lose lots of money, or possible all your money. Similarly in real life, in the state of confusion, frustration or uncertainty, don't hesitate in using available lifeline (here, a lifeline may mean parents, close relatives, friends) immediately or you will end up with troubles having no way out. - Dr. Shashikant Shah

A story of a little known frontier village Mano - Majra (Punjab) - a railway station situated near the bank of river Sutlej dividing India & Pakistan. Here the author narrates the history of 1947 Summer after Partition was declared and frontier elsewhere has become the scene of rioting and bloodshed, but this is the village where Sikhs and Muslims have always lived peacefully and partition did not mean much. Life is regulated by the trains which rattle across the nearby river bridge. One day a local money lender is Kala Ramlal is murdered. Suspicion falls upon Juggut Singh - a gangster having an affair with the Muslim weaver's young daughter Nooran. A western educated communist agent Iqbal Singh comes and does his activity here and stays at gurudwara after meeting Meet Singh - a priest. And one day a train comes from Pakistan full of dead Sikhs and some days later the same thing - a train full Sikhs from Pakistan is repeated. Imam Baksh, Mullah a Muslim spiritual leader at a mo...

A few days ago, my mother (84) passed away of old age. I had an experience of being in a state of sorrow due to her demise. The article is an outcome of experiences following the incidence. I did realize the need and importance of true consolation to the grieved person. So I thought it is prudent to write from the heart words giving guidance. Condolence : It is expressing sympathy to a misfortune or bereavement (one deprived of relative because of death). Consolation : To give comfort or sympathy to an unhappy person. On the death of a close relative, a sudden gap is created due to the absence of that relative. Even the mentally strong person understanding every aspect of the event becomes shocked for a while. Here is the need of true consolation known as 'condolence.'

When someone close is away beyond easily approachable distance, person concerned is anxious and worried for no reason about well-being of person. The only way out is Acceptance. Image Source: beeimgs.com

The day you start counting what you have done for your friend/relative, the relationship is either over or about to die. The base of any relation is moral/psychological support, physical work and financial/materialistic help. It has to be endless and beyond counts. Once you start falling short of this, you go finding all such things and expecting reward or reciprocation. Well, that is the end of relation.

BE ALERT! When either of your parents comment, criticise or say something about your spouse/life-partner in absence of the concerned partner, be alert. They may be wrong or say prejudiced. So be alert, prudent and cautious before discussing this or taking any action against the concerned person.

Mind your mind! Or you may need a psychiatrist at the earliest. If you cannot love and respect any one of the following (whatever their nature, economic or intellectual level may be) - Parents, Parents-in-law, Son/Daughter, or Son/Daughter-in-law, consider checking your thought cycle and revise it. Or else, you may be nowhere.  You may lose your most important life support following your method.