Dr. Bharat Desai's Blog
Dr. Bharat Desai's Blog
  • Home
  • Anavils
  • History
  • Religions
    • Hinduism
    • Islam
    • Chritianity
    • Sikhism
    • Jainism
    • Buddhism
    • Taoism
  • Book Reviews
  • Videos
  • ગુજરાતી લેખો
In Greece, there is a law about marriages. It forces you to give a detailed advertisement of marriage decision telling about both bride and groom.... one month in advance, in the newspaper.

I think this exercise gives you time to reconsider regarding the prudence of your decision. You may analyse your said partner and think about compatibility. Then the chances of cancelling the decision are more.

Or readers of the news may warn you about the drawbacks of the said partner, leading to no marriage at the said place.
Your mouth must actively be closed.

Or else, bacteria, insects and unwanted calories will be engulfed leading to diseases, obesity and other undesired troubles. The tongue behind will kill you if you inadvertently and imprudently overuse it.


See, the creator of human body ''God'' has kept nose and ears permanently open and eyes also open most of the time, except while sleeping. However, the mouth has to be kept closed all the time except for speaking and eating.
After getting married, the wife changes her name and adds husband's name. Similarly, the husband should also add wife's name to his. And both can drop their fathers' names.

After the wedding, the wife wears "Mangal Sutra" and applies "Bindi" on her forehead. The married man - the husband - too should find out similar symbolic marks on neck and forehead. And till then, he should copy wearing Mangal Sutra and Bindi.


If you want to ignore strict dieting and stress of not getting to eat this and that... Be diet conscious!


Let us start afresh...

  • Avoid cakes in any celebration... be it a birthday, wedding anniversary, promotion or success in the examination. It was never used in such events in the past; it is a present-day wrong fashion!
  • Second is ice-cream in any form... Kulfi, Cones, Milk-shakes, Cups, Falooda or even ice-cream pakoda!
Think this over. The ratio of the male-female population today is 1000:920, meaning 100:92, or to be simplest 10:9. Meaning thereby if every 9 women marry one man each... one out of 10 men will remain unmarried.

Now think...

What is the remedy if all the men wanted to get married? The only ethical remedy would be, that one of every nine women should marry two men.


As far as you are sharing your views, events and a few of your photos, everything is fair enough and natural. If you are too much eager to ask for so many likes, comments and sharing your presentation, frustration is imminent!


Girls do "Gauri Vrat" to get a good husband. After getting one, they do "Kadava Chouth" and "Vat Savitri Poonam Vrat". This is customary amongst all.

At the same time, boys and later the married men do not follow any such ritual, nor do they do any fasting at all.

Present day thinking leads to breaking a relation on many occasions. It is undesirable but still natural. Don't get panicked about it; relax and think over the following:

When you hear or read some intelligent people like Osho, Sadhguru Jaggi Vasudev or any alike, you start agreeing to whatever they say. Not because you are his follower or student, but because the content is true. Then you hear or read what he tells about some other topic and you again agree in total. Now the paralysing of your intelligence has begun.


You surrender in total. Without your awareness, you stop thinking and become dependent on him. This is "paralysing intelligence".

Beware!
When you are happy and relaxed, you feel everything is going well. This results in the negligence of four musts for health:
  1. Exercise
  2. Diet consciousness
  3. Rest 
  4. Sleep

The end result is an unconsciously added obesity... a lifetime friend!
We receive messages in conversations and communications, and a reply or at least some response is expected by the sender. But more often than not, this replying does not take place. Even we are unaware of this and find no problem with this attitude. We do not feel sorry for not responding. I asked why this happens and this article is the outcome of the said question.

While talking, someone asks a question and waits for the reply with frustration of getting none. Similarly we receive letters, messages on mobile phone, Whatsapp, Facebook, e-mails, Twitter and many other methods we use on the internet. Everywhere, the ‘replying’ is surprisingly missing. You will be surprised to know, the reasons are either absent or practically insignificant-trivial. Even when one remains absent at a wedding, birthday party, marriage anniversary, inaugural function or any such important occasion where he/she was invited, they do not convey any message of greeting and regarding his absence.
We are social animals. We have friends and relatives. Being socially attached, we need and desire to meet them. So the question is: Where do you meet them nowadays?

Well, honest and multiple answers to this simple question are quite simple. Let me enumerate the list of present-day meeting places.


Whatever smartness or intelligence one has, to anticipate the probable attitude of the future partner is difficult. So for the continuation of the marriage, adjustment and compromises are must, compulsory.



One has to marry because the law does not allow man-woman physical relations at random and society has laid certain norms of man-woman staying together. Though liberate present-day scenario allows live-in relations and physical relationship without much fuss, marriages are unavoidable.

Once decided to marry, the second question arising is the method – the technique of the wedding. How many persons to be invited, the place of the wedding, the menu and its preparation and the details of the function is the subject of this article.

Are credit cards a BOON? – YES.
Are credit cards a CURSE? – YES.

You may be surprised reading this answer to these questions appearing rather simple. But the exercise of this article is to compare the advantages and drawbacks of credit cards after understanding the issues relating to it and finally, deciding where the truth lies.


How does someone's habit bother you?
What is your concern about a person's habit?
Before discussing about the habits in general and bad habits in particular, I would like to reply these two questions.

We, the humans, are social animals. We live together a life in a society with people around us. Many a times, the dialogue with any individual with bad habits irritates us, disturbs our mood and sometimes makes us angry. Thus the awareness about good manners without bad habits is highly important. You see, habits die hard. But the bad habits die harder!


A self-destroying compulsion, what really is Comparison? We mean it as an evaluation of the similarities and differences of one or more persons/entities to some other persons/entities. So, it is an account of resemblances and contrasts as superior or inferior. We humans have an inherited habit of comparing ourselves with near ones, friends and relatives, usually after considering them to be superior in our imaginary belief.
Air, water and food are must for a life, we know. But, many of us do not know that sleep is the fourth most essential for life giving sound body and mind. Loss of sleep, better known as insomnia, present in the third of the world's adult population leads to mental depression, a life threatening disease. An adult needs six to eight hours of uninterrupted profound sleep every day. How to ensure this?

Let us understand the ways to deal with this issue point to point, and to get sound sleep.
Generally, the wedding of a daughter is event parents plan from the day of her birth. They start saving money and dream about the son-in-law to be. But all these have one condition tagged – “Consent of Parents”. Or say a final decision has to be with and as per the will of the parents. When this does not happen and daughter decides to marry at her own will – against the consent of parents, they get shocked emotionally to its deepest level and this is the subject of my discussion.

Money. How much is enough? Present time has created an impression that more the money more the happiness. Poverty makes a person inferior in this society, however clever, intelligent, honest and hardworking he or she may be. So, the young generation of the day has clear idea of being rich by earning more and earning at the earliest. So the question arises, how much money is enough money? Before giving the clear cut answer as I am certainly going to do – I would like to tell you the evolution of money.

My random thoughts on the demise of a mother. What do I understand while pronouncing “mother”?

I do not need to go far away. I just see so many mothers around, to name a few, I shall say:
                Dr Bhavana Desai (My wife)
                Dr Amita Desai
                Dr Shefali Naik
                Mina Vijay Desai

And I just see a few single mothers like:
                Dr Indumati K Desai (My mother-in-law)
                Vasuben Radhod (My hospital staff)
                And many more.

What I have learnt about ‘mothers’ from them, is, they are:
                For their offspring in total, forever.
                Thinking about them all the while.
                Living only for them – offering all they have.
                Round-the-clock ‘mothers’ and nothing else – ignoring their own identity and profession.
                In so much love with their children, they ignore any insulting behaviour they get.

I would like to quote some of the famous personalities from Gujarati literature and spiritual leadership.

Morari Bapu:
  • Mother is one who offers all she has – total offering.
  • Mother is a great mixture of forgiveness (Pardon) and compassion (Mercy).
Suresh Dalal:
  • Mother is blind towards her children. And she may not love all others alike.
  • Mother knows all that her child needs, and she will give it even before she/he demands.
Gunvant Shah:
  • We miss seeing what is near to us. And so we never realise a mother’s importance – thereby we miss acknowledging and appreciating her.
  • Mother has total acceptance for her child, however bad or misbehaving the child is. She will love and bless to her maximum.
On learning about the demise of somebody else’s mother, I have observed some people saying, ‘I have never met her’ or even daring to say, ‘I was not aware their mother was alive at all’. This is too much, and unfortunately not uncommon.

All we need is to define the list of our close friends and be in regular touch – visit them as frequently as possible, and be with them. If you find someone not worth your friendship, forget him. But be sure to maintain a few intimate-close and total friends. Loss of touch is a modern-day problem, best avoided.

It was only a few days before you had the last touch of your mother – the touch before saying the final bye-bye. The last touch means thereafter you won’t be able to touch your alive mother again.

Well, then to make it alive, love the mothers of others who are alive. Love, respect and do everything for her that you would have done for your mother.

We can easily say goodbye to our mother on her last departure if we have:
Respected her during her lifetime,
Honoured her all she dues,
Not allowing her to be unhappy or weeping because of us…

And still, nothing you do is enough.

Have you served your mother to your satisfaction?
While being surrounded by strangers struggling with their problems at a public place, say,
in a lift,
in a waiting room,
in a queue at the bank, cinema,
or
elsewhere,
we remain silent and make no conversation.
Because we think it to be a bad manner, awkward or challenging.

That is not right. Instead, try with a smile, raising your hand and a small-talk. Talk may be about anything; say weather, long waiting or just anything like that. I am sure it will not only relieve the tension but also create a forging bond between humans.

We understand, only bacterias, viruses and fungi spread infection and they are contagious. But there are many behavioural factors that lead to their own spread, and we do not notice them.

Actually, behavioural matters spread faster than we think.


Wabi-Sabi is a Japanese philosophy that celebrates-respects "age" and the imperfections created by ageing (usually in inanimate objects like vases, wooden benches, etc.).

All over the world, the lines of the palm on the hand are thought to be deciding the fate of an individual. There is a study describing the reading of this lines on the palm, known as "Palmistry".

Activeness on Facebook, Whatsapp, Twitter and Blog

If you want to be active on all these social media platforms, do so.
Do not hesitate.
Do express all you want.

But...

Be prepared for poor or zero response/feedback.
The expectation of active communication may lead to frustration... depression.


I am happy to address my readers once again with a very important subject of day-to-day problems: Stress.
Stress is a force that strains and deforms. People, events and circumstances take over you, and create stress. It is a physical expression of emotional insult. Emotions like Fear, Guilt, Shame, Anger, Worry, Guilt and Doubt lead to stress. 
That practically covers every normal, routine emotion. Then, how can we deal with stress?
Facebook Friends

More the number of friends, more the time needed to see their updates and respond. Sometimes, one feels it is a waste of time.

So better avoid unknown, half-known and the friends of friends types.

What is the ideal maximum number?

When should a doctor retire?


Your reply is a must...
ICU (Intensive Care Unit). It is the most alert and up-to-date department in a hospital.


Minimum expectations of the patient admitted here are would be:
  1. There is a doctor present all the time (round-o-clock) to treat the patient and attend to any emergencies.
  2. The present doctor must be having technical skills and know-how in the management of critical care. He/she may be a Physician/Anaesthetist/Critical care treatment specialist.
  3. Necessary gadgets like a cardiac monitor, ventilator, pacemaker, cardiac defibrillator and such others are present in working condition.
  4. Emergency Medicines, Oxygen, continuous electric power and assisting staff on duty.
Addiction

Internet users with Facebook, Whatsapp, Emails and what not, very well know the (usefulness and) uselessness of the continuous connectivity and still can not stop the wastage of time in this activity. Just like the addicts of alcohol, smoking and tobacco chewing...


Addiction to be attended to as an emergency

Beware if you are seeing in your mobile/computer while being with someone talking to you. You are missing a great real moment for virtual reality and showing a great insult to the people around.


This is internet addiction needing urgent attention. Real life relationships and persons around are more important than distant imaginary 'virtual' world.
Just owning a camera does not make you a photographer!

You have to learn the fundamentals of photography and technical know-how of cameras, or you will come out with dull and irritating photos. I request my friends to be kind enough to see the image, its light and contents ("the subject") appearing in the frame before using the "CLICK" button.


Newer Posts Older Posts Home

POPULAR THIS WEEK

  • પવિત્ર કુરાન - સારાંશ
    દરેક ધર્મના સિદ્ધાંતો બાબતે માર્ગદર્શન અને માહિતી આપતું સર્વમાન્ય પુસ્તક હોય છે. હિન્દુ ધર્મમાં મહાભારત – ભગવદગીતા અને રામાયણ છે, તો ખ્રિસ્ત...
  • સીમંત - સીમંતોન્નયન સંસ્કાર
    હિન્દુઓમાં લગ્ન પછી મા-બાપ થવાની પહેલી વારની અવસ્થાનું ખૂબ મહત્વ છે. ગર્ભમાં રહેલ બાળકને શુદ્ધ કરવું – પવિત્ર કરવું જરૂરી હોવાથી તે બાબતનું ...
  • શાંતિપર્વ: બીજી ભગવદ્દ ગીતા
    યુધિષ્ઠિર કુરુક્ષેત્રના યુદ્ધમાં વિજયી થવા છતાં પોતે કુળનો નાશ કરાવ્યો હોવાનું અને સગા સંબંધીઓની હત્યા કરાવી હોવાથી મનોમંથન અનુભવે છે અને જી...
  • અનાવિલ સમાજ અને લગ્નો
    લગ્નની ઈચ્છા ધરાવનાર અનાવિલ, લગ્ન કરવામાં કેમ સફળ થતાં નથી? એ વિષે મનોમંથન કરીએ. બધી રીતે યોગ્ય ઉમેદવારો લગ્નની પરીક્ષામાં કેમ ઝળહળતી સફળતા ...
  • [Video]: વરિષ્ઠ નાગરિકનું જીવન દર્શન
    સિનિયર સિટીઝન ટ્રસ્ટ વિજલપોરની 15મી વાર્ષિક સભાના અવસરે દક્ષિણ ગુજરાત વરિષ્ઠ નાગરિક સંઘના પ્રમુખ ર્ડો ભરતચંદ્ર દેસાઇનું પ્રવચન (નવસારી કૃષિ ...
  • મૃત્યુનું મનોમંથન
    ભારત માં જન્મને શુભ અને મૃત્યુ ને અશુભ કહ્યું છે. હકીકતમાં જ્ન્મ-મૃત્યુ બન્ને એક સિક્કાની બે બાજુઓ છે જે બન્ને પરસ્પર જોડાયેલા છે. મૃત્યુની ...
  • વારસદાર (Legal Heir)
    હિન્દુ વસિયતનામું લખ્યા/બનાવ્યા સિવાયના, હિન્દુ મૃતકના વારસદારો નીચે મુજબ ગણાશે. હિન્દુ પુરુષ મૃતક   CLASS-I LEGAL HEIRS:  પુત્ર / પુત્રી વિ...
  • લગ્નજીવનની સમસ્યાઓ: કારણો, અસર અને મારા ઉપાયો
    છૂટાછેડા (Divorce) : છૂટાછેડા એટલે કાનુની રીતે થયેલ લગ્નનો અંત (Divorce is the termination of a legal marriage) Without marriage, there i...
  • Anavils - An Endangered Community
    After Parsis, Anavils ( Anavil Brahmins , અનાવિલ બ્રાહ્મણ ) are the fastest decreasing community. The total population of Anavils around t...
  • Jealousy
    My friend Dr Ashwinbhai Naik  asked me to share my views on the topic 'jealousy' and that created this viewpoint article. Jealousy i...

Categories

addiction 7 ahmedabad 3 anavil 19 art 2 bangalore 2 behavior 8 biography 14 birthday 1 blindness 3 blogging 3 body 4 book 35 buddhism 4 camera 2 career 4 cataract 1 change 1 charity 1 childhood 3 children 25 china 1 christianity 5 city 4 cleanliness 1 commitment 1 communication 4 community 4 computer 4 conflict 1 courtesy 2 crime 1 culture 16 cyber world 3 daughters 6 death 16 dedication 1 devotion 1 diet 1 doctor 8 education 10 emotions 8 english 1 environment 1 ethics 1 exercise 3 expectations 3 eye 10 eye-bank 3 eye-care 9 eye-donation 5 facebook 12 family 42 Featured 1 festival 1 fiction 3 finance 4 fitness 6 food 3 formality 2 friendship 17 gadgets 3 God 6 gujarat 23 habit 7 happiness 4 hatred 1 health 16 help 1 hinduism 30 history 26 hospital 1 hospitality 1 human-eye 5 humanity 2 husband 1 india 36 inheritance 2 inspirational 1 internet 3 islam 5 jainism 1 japan 2 jealousy 1 karma 3 kashmir 1 language 2 law 3 legal 3 library 1 life 53 lifestyle 8 literature 4 loneliness 1 love 10 luck 2 manners 4 marriage 19 medical 7 meditation 6 mental 1 mind 23 money 10 mother 6 movie 1 mumbai 1 mythology 2 nationalism 2 nature 3 nostalgia 1 novel 2 old-age 21 opinion 3 pakistan 9 parents 27 Parsi 1 partition 1 parvati 1 patient 2 people 74 philosophy 1 photography 2 politics 6 power 3 prejudice 1 privacy 2 professionalism 4 pune 1 reading 3 relations 22 religion 34 respect 2 retirement 2 review 30 rituals 7 safety 3 school 1 security 2 service 3 shiva 4 sleep 1 social media 19 society 53 speech 11 spiritual 13 stress 5 success 1 taoism 2 technology 6 television 1 terrorism 1 testament 1 tradition 1 travel 17 twitter 2 unique 1 video 8 wedding 5 wife 4 will 1 women 6 work 5 writing 1 yoga 4 youth 3 ગુજરાતી 80
Powered by Blogger

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

An ophthalmologist by qualification and profession, Dr. Bharatchandra Desai loves reading about history, religion, and spirituality. He has written about them and also about 'Anavils' at length.

ABOUT THE BLOG

When I started writing on my blog, I used to ask myself if I should write at all. If yes, why? I would like to share my views on this topic with you.
I write for myself. This may sound egoistic, but it is self-explanatory as well. Because I want freedom from my thought cycle, I get mental catharsis by just writing out whatever it is. While having some serious events with myself, say the death of my mother first and then father, writing down makes a record of my emotions at a given time which I’m never going to repeat.
I do write for my daughter Vaishali, son Rahul and their friends. I want to tell my experiences and let them know about me. I have done this in Life At 60 article series – it is my mini-autobiography, telling all about me. Article on Marriage, Parents in old-age homes, etc. are other such articles.

SUBSCRIBE & FOLLOW

Copyright © Dr. Bharat Desai's Blog. Designed by OddThemes