Dr. Bharat Desai's Blog

Generally, the wedding of a daughter is event parents plan from the day of her birth. They start saving money and dream about the son-in-law to be. But all these have one condition tagged – “Consent of Parents”. Or say a final decision has to be with and as per the will of the parents. When this does not happen and daughter decides to marry at her own will – against the consent of parents, they get shocked emotionally to its deepest level and this is the subject of my discussion.

Or if I may ask, are my parents worth sending and keeping in an old-age-home? The need for time demands more and more old-age-homes to be built. Because: Expense: No problem. Monthly payment amount: No problem. Servants, cook and other staff needed: No problem. Whatever has to be done: No problem!

From:    Dr Bharat Desai To:         feedback2jyoti@chitralekha.com Date:      Sun, Jul 18, 2010, at 9:53 PM Subject:  Father's reply to a daughter married against his will, on Father's day. Beloved Prathana, This is a reply to your letter published in Chitralekha direct from the heart of a Father, uncensored.

Why and how should we visit our close relatives/friends? Close relatives are the best God-gift,. I would first like to talk about who they are, to start this article. They are: Parents Son/daughter Brother/sister Above relatives-in-law and Close friends

After voluntary retirement as Government Medical Officer, my wife Dr Bhavana (Devyani) wanted to have a vacation and I joined her. The long break of 14 days (2 weeks) was starting on date 9th March 2011 and ending on 23rd March 2011. We planned to stay at Rahul’s (our son) residence at Bangalore and return to Bilimora. Vacation - is stopping the continuous job/work and retire at some place at leisure. We know vacation is a change of activity and we did that. It is a recess, say a break or temporary cessation of routine work. Is vacation necessary ?

My mother passed away on 6 Oct 2010. I can say I was with my mother till 60 years of my life. Prof. Sandhyaben Bhatt (Bardoli) sent me her article on her mother and asked me to tell her about my mother. But I was reluctant to spell a few words here and there about my mother because I was considering her beyond words. Anytime, I was remembering her and praising mother is always inadequate and much less compared to the mother’s dedication for her offsprings.

My three true stories with explanations for poor English word power. Because of exposure to television, internet, mobile and other gadgets of telecommunication, modern day child is far more intelligent than her/his parents and grandparents. He has great vocabulary not only in English but also in Hindi and Gujarati. But what was it like in the past? To know that you have to go through this article.

We are social animals. We have friends and relatives. Being socially attached, we need and desire to meet them. So the question is: Where do you meet them nowadays? Well, honest and multiple answers to this simple question are quite simple. Let me enumerate the list of present-day meeting places.

Mind your mind! Or you may need a psychiatrist at the earliest. If you cannot love and respect any one of the following (whatever their nature, economic or intellectual level may be) - Parents, Parents-in-law, Son/Daughter, or Son/Daughter-in-law, consider checking your thought cycle and revise it. Or else, you may be nowhere.  You may lose your most important life support following your method.

Continued from  I, at 60 Before starting this story, I must admit, I have been accompanied by a brother before birth till today - a pair of twins. We are hardly comparable in any way or let me say, we are totally different in nature, look and attitude - we are always available to each other. I had parents to guide me till 60, of whom I lost my mother a month back. My father is always available with his viewpoint to guide me in need on any issue with clarity of thought and without forcing to follow the same. I understand it as a great luxury many do not have.

Before demanding death, have you received the "No Objection Certificate" from your children? At a certain age, a person gets tired of one's life and starts waiting for death. During the lifetime he has passed, it is quite possible he/she had a great career, so-called success and enough earning. But a sense of frustration, unhappiness and dissatisfaction prevails leading to depression demanding the end of the life - death.

25-Dec-2017 onwards, I had talked with my friend Anilbhai Desai on phone two-three times. Every time, he mentioned the worthiness of seeing Kankaria Carnival and invited us. But I was resistant to go. On 30-Dec-2017, while talking with Jayshreeben Desai, she also invited and insisted to visit Ahmedabad. So, my wife Bhavana and I accepted the invitation. In fact, when we need to face young generation people, we avoid out of fear of difference and generation gap. Even visiting close relatives and friends is not that pleasing nowadays, and so we avoid as far as possible. I had sufficiently interacted with Anilbhai's son – Darshan and his wife Shalu, so I could be little courageous to decide for the visit.

Balancing two sides of relations: A son/daughter: Parents and offsprings A married woman: Parents and parents-in-laws A married son: Wife and parents When you are any of the above, you are an in-between person. You have to be tricky, cautious and careful person in handling either side maintaining your own views or you will be in trouble. You need not be judging any, but you have to be neutral and caring both.

છૂટાછેડા (Divorce) : છૂટાછેડા એટલે કાનુની રીતે થયેલ લગ્નનો અંત (Divorce is the termination of a legal marriage) Without marriage, there is no divorce Marriage can be easily done but not divorce Marriage is not decided in heaven; marriage is a result of one’s hurriedly made mistake Life is more important than marriage. So, if you are convinced about the failure of a marriage, end the marriage, but not the life. કારણો Financial Crisis: નાણાં કમાવાની અશક્તિ ને કારણે નાણાનો અભાવ Domestic Violence: ઘરેલુ ઝગડાઓ અને મારામારી. પતિ કે પત્ની દ્વારા અપમાનજનક વર્તન Denied (refusal) of a Sexual Relationship: શરીર સંબંધ ની મનાઈ અથવા વિરોધ Lack of Mutual Respect: પરસ્પર માન-સન્માનનો અભાવ Lack of Love: પરસ્પર પ્રેમ Extramarital Relationship: લગ્ન બહારનો શરીર સંબંધ આ પરંપરાગત કારણો સિવાયના હાલનાં કારણો ભણેલી, કમાતી અને આર્થિક રીતે સ્વાવલંબી સ્ત્રી (Feminism and Women Empowerment): લગ્ન જીવનનાં પાયામાં રહેલાં Adjustment and Compromise ભુલીને સાધારણ નાની-નાની તકલીફો પણ અસહ્ય બતાવીને લગ...

When I started writing on my blog , I used to ask myself if I should write at all. If yes, why? I would like to share my views on this topic with you. I write for myself . This may sound egoistic, but it is self-explanatory as well. Because I want freedom from my thought cycle, I get mental catharsis by just writing out whatever it is. While having some serious events with myself, say the death of my mother first and then father , writing down makes a record of my emotions at a given time which I’m never going to repeat.

Being a member of the male-dominated culture and having an Anavil inheritance of male-ego, I was wrongly considering myself superior to my wife Dr Bhavana Desai (Devyani). I want to confess, I was wrong.

My daughter-in-law Shivani has seen many family get-togethers during the last decade at her paternal home town - Dungri. So she wanted a similar gathering with the family in Bilimora. We four i.e. Bhavana, Vaishali , Rahul , and I were reluctant to hold one without any cause. Ultimately, we thought of trying this at least once, and so we decided to hold our Sharada Mohan family 's first " Family Reunion " on 24-25 January 2021, Sunday-Monday. A family is a unit of people formed naturally by brothers and sisters of the same parents. A family can be extended by adding uncles and aunts (Kaka, Fui, Mama, Masi) with their offspring. Thus, a family comprises the people who love and support the members in good and bad times. We tried to meet for two days and one night thinking it would be enough time - neither too short nor dragged. Yes,  we were happy and enjoyed ourselves all the while. To finalise the venue, we initially Anaval Shukleshwar Dham and Saidham, Majigam. The cle...

After Parsis, Anavils ( Anavil Brahmins , અનાવિલ બ્રાહ્મણ ) are the fastest decreasing community. The total population of Anavils around the world does not exceed two lakhs figure and that is also fast reducing day by day. Days are not far, beyond a century or so, when they will have to be seen/found in records, photos, and videos. Why? Because,    - they get married too late,    - many are dying unmarried,    - they wait for the career to be settled before the first (and maybe the only) childbirth. So,    The number of children per couple is either one or zero.    It is certain that nothing can save this community from extinction - vanishing! Let me try to introduce this community. Mr. Klass W VanDer Veen - a Dutch scholar and Professor at Amsterdam University prepared a thesis on "Anavils" and wrote a book "I Give Thee My Daughter ". He concluded, "Anavils are smart, efficient, and clever but heavily disunited....

Whatever smartness or intelligence one has, to anticipate the probable attitude of the future partner is difficult. So for the continuation of the marriage, adjustment and compromises are must, compulsory. One has to marry because the law does not allow man-woman physical relations at random and society has laid certain norms of man-woman staying together. Though liberate present-day scenario allows live-in relations and physical relationship without much fuss, marriages are unavoidable. Once decided to marry, the second question arising is the method – the technique of the wedding. How many persons to be invited, the place of the wedding, the menu and its preparation and the details of the function is the subject of this article.

A student of History has to understand Geography, Economics and Anthropology simultaneously. A person curious to know about world history has to proceed step by step, learning his own state first, then country and then only one can understand world history. Well, appreciating above facts, I am starting my study with History Of My State Of Gujarat . I have put it in order of time and later described important states and rulers.